Bah Humbug!

[workerbee222]

Christmas Schmistmas, the seasons may change, but SC's are eternal.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of double parking, but this was probably the most literal instance I’ve ever seen.

Guy is directly in the middle of two parking spaces. The white line that separated the two stalls was extending out from under the rear bumper of his car, directly in the middle of the license plate, between the two sets of digits even… it was a clean bi-section that you probably couldn’t do if you TRIED with the offer of a hefty cash reward for getting it this perfect.

Around here, this is usually done by someone who has decided his car is very special and this will keep it from being dinged or scratched by the unwashed masses

[Argabarga]

Yeah, I get that too.

"But, if I parked LEGALLY on the STREET my car would get all scratched up!"

Well, if you're that concerned, don't take it anywhere, leave it at home in the garage. No wait, the garage may CATCH FIRE! or FALL ON IT!

You better put it outside...

NO WAIT! WATER AND AIR WILL GET ON IT!!!

you can't win! CHEMISTRY HAS DOOMED YOU NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO!!!!

Ahhh!

AHHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Run!

Run for the safe and inert vacuum of space before it's too late!!!!

Oh, and can I have your car?

[mjr]

I'm SO waiting for Argabarga's "Tales of Towing: Christmas Edition"!

[VComps]

Patron saint of transportation workers? Well, that'd be Saint Christopher!

EDIT: Oops, didn't notice the other replies, go me browsing in single post mode!

[EvilEmpryss]

Around here, this is usually done by someone who has decided his car is very special and this will keep it from being dinged or scratched by the unwashed masses

And when I even think that's the reason (as opposed to just general douchebaggery) I am sooooo tempted to key the damned thing*. I have so far been able to resist the urge, but it's only a matter of time.

*Vandalism and destruction of property are illegal and are neither condoned nor endorsed by CS. And don't try to tell anyone I told you it was a good idea, either.

[protege]

And when I even think that's the reason (as opposed to just general douchebaggery) I am sooooo tempted to key the damned thing*. I have so far been able to resist the urge, but it's only a matter of time.

Yep, parking like an asshole is a *guaranteed* way to get your car messed with

[wolfie]

Around here, this is usually done by someone who has decided his car is very special and this will keep it from being dinged or scratched by the unwashed masses

Parking like that will definitely keep the car from being dinged or scratched ACCIDENTALLY by the unwashed masses. Note that I'm reporting probable results (after all, there are a large number of SCs among the unwashed masses, and we KNOW how they're likely to react to something that inconveniences them), not recommending action.

BTW, the way for Argabarga to REALLY ruin Christmas would be for him to tow an illegally-parked sleigh.

[crinklestein]

I used to have a small car and I had a coworker who regularly double parked. My small car was small enough to fit in the remainder of one of the spaces so I would fit my car perfectly in the rest of the space next to his driver's side door and go in to work. I mean, I was parked right up to his door where he couldn't even fit himself in between our two vehicles. After a few hours I'd usually get paged to the front and asked to move my car. "Why?"
"Because you're blocking Bob's driver's side door."
"I don't know what you're talking about. Let's go out and have a look." We go out and look and I say, "Look at these two vehicles. Mine is fitting perfectly in a parking spot and his is taking up two spots and isn't even straight. In fact I'd be willing to say that, if anything, he's blocking my passenger side door. Sorry, there's nothing I can do for you. I'd say he needs to enter his vehicle through the passenger side and learn how to park better next time. But I'm not moving. Why should I? I'm legally parked."
This guy tried this 2 more times before he started parking sideways in the space, taking up three spaces. So I just started parking sideways right next to his drivers door. Oh I had fun.

[Argabarga]

On rare occasions, I get someone, usually a tenant in an apartment building with a garage who was unlucky in the parking space lotto and drew the corner spot where the passenger's side of their parking stall is a blank wall.

Inevitably, their neighbor in the next stall over will gradually creep over, as if magnetically attracted, until one day, they've parked so close that it's impossible for the stall owner to open their door enough to get in, and the wall prevents them from using the other side.

So, the too-close car is towed away, and man o man you should hear these people bitch.

Not that it helps, we always take pictures to document the fact that yes, unless you are Plastic Man, there's no way you could have gotten into that car. That usually shuts em up.

[Kazim]

I guess there's a story behind that "Usually" part.

[sms001]

to REALLY ruin Christmas would be for him to tow an illegally-parked sleigh.

Fairly sure the Fatman has "Emergency Vehicle" status. Heck, he's even got the flashing red light at the front.

[Mr Hero]

On rare occasions, I get someone, usually a tenant in an apartment building with a garage who was unlucky in the parking space lotto and drew the corner spot where the passenger's side of their parking stall is a blank wall.

Inevitably, their neighbor in the next stall over will gradually creep over, as if magnetically attracted, until one day, they've parked so close that it's impossible for the stall owner to open their door enough to get in, and the wall prevents them from using the other side.

So, the too-close car is towed away, and man o man you should hear these people bitch.

Not that it helps, we always take pictures to document the fact that yes, unless you are Plastic Man, there's no way you could have gotten into that car. That usually shuts em up.

Have you posted any stories of this nature? I would love to read some of the more notable ones.

[mathnerd]

On rare occasions, I get someone, usually a tenant in an apartment building with a garage who was unlucky in the parking space lotto and drew the corner spot where the passenger's side of their parking stall is a blank wall.

Inevitably, their neighbor in the next stall over will gradually creep over, as if magnetically attracted, until one day, they've parked so close that it's impossible for the stall owner to open their door enough to get in, and the wall prevents them from using the other side.

So, the too-close car is towed away, and man o man you should hear these people bitch.

Not that it helps, we always take pictures to document the fact that yes, unless you are Plastic Man, there's no way you could have gotten into that car. That usually shuts em up.

Somewhat related:

I sometimes claim that the most useful skill I learned at the University who's sports' team name is a natural disaster is the ability to park my car in the tightest spaces imaginable. More than once I was glad I drove a hatchback, because I had parked so tightly I couldn't get in or or out either the drivers' or passenger side doors.

[Alpha Strike]

I used to have a small car and I had a coworker who regularly double parked. My small car was small enough to fit in the remainder of one of the spaces so I would fit my car perfectly in the rest of the space next to his driver's side door and go in to work. I mean, I was parked right up to his door where he couldn't even fit himself in between our two vehicles. After a few hours I'd usually get paged to the front and asked to move my car. "Why?"
"Because you're blocking Bob's driver's side door."
"I don't know what you're talking about. Let's go out and have a look." We go out and look and I say, "Look at these two vehicles. Mine is fitting perfectly in a parking spot and his is taking up two spots and isn't even straight. In fact I'd be willing to say that, if anything, he's blocking my passenger side door. Sorry, there's nothing I can do for you. I'd say he needs to enter his vehicle through the passenger side and learn how to park better next time. But I'm not moving. Why should I? I'm legally parked."
This guy tried this 2 more times before he started parking sideways in the space, taking up three spaces. So I just started parking sideways right next to his drivers door. Oh I had fun.

I'm all in favor of teaching parking idiots a lesson; I would just worry about the potential blow-back of doing that to a co-worker. How did this go on between you two anyway?

[manybellsdown]

And when I even think that's the reason (as opposed to just general douchebaggery) I am sooooo tempted to key the damned thing*. I have so far been able to resist the urge, but it's only a matter of time.

Sort-of-related: There's a Starbucks I'm occasionally at that is blessed by a regular customer who drives a red Ferrari. Said customer owns a sign, on a stick, that reads "Ferrari Parking Only: All others will be towed". He sometimes sticks it in the dirt in front of whatever space he parks in - yeah, he carries it with him.

I've seen him in the Starbucks as well and literally every piece of clothing he wears has the Ferrari logo. Well, I haven't seen his undies, but come on.

Anyway, I wonder how his car has not been vandalized. I can't imagine many people care about his Ferrari; the "high-status" car around these parts are Teslas.