It's NAKED MAN, and his friendly lovable sidekick Alcohol

[Moirae]

I've seen many things in this industry. Water main breaks that flood a hotel, fires, water sprinkler systems that suddenly go off due to a fault in the system, fist fights, homeless people sleeping in the hallways, even once a crazy man who was slitting peoples throats... but this one is a first for me.

So how do you become Naked Man? You make sure you aren't a guest but meet a guest who knows where then get so drunk that you can't remember what happened the night before, who you came with or where your clothing is then pass out in a public area (our office closes at 11 pm so no one noticed him until I got in this morning).

Then, when you are confronted you say "You aren't taking any responsibility for..." at which point I cut you off and say "Take responsibility for what exactly? You're the one that got drunk, passed out naked on hotel property in a public space, and can't remember what happened last night".

"You should be helping me find my clothing" (after he's been given lost and found clothing that was subsequently thrown away after he was done). "How exactly is that?" I ask. To which the answer is "I'm going to start knocking on doors till I find the person I was with so I can get my clothing"

And my answer is "Oh no you're not. You're not going to be harassing our guests".

Then protest "Then call the clerk that worked last night and see if she remembers me". My answer "No, I don't think so. We have hundreds of people go through here, she won't remember you".

Suffice it to say that the police end up being called. I'll keep the rest of the details to myself but....

Wow, what a morning. And on Christmas too. Not New Years, not Mardi Gras... Christmas. Wow... just wow.

[Jay 2K Winger]

even once a crazy man who was slitting peoples throats...

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA.

Whoa.

What, now?

[Moirae]

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA.

Whoa.

What, now?

lol. Yeah, you get some amazing crap working in hotels.

This wasn't in this hotel, it was the second one I worked at back in Canada. There was two entrances to the lobby, one entrance for two different parking lots, one of them was also the entrance to the restaurant.

Like I said, you get so many people going through your lobby that they all eventually just blend together and you don't remember any of them unless they're a celebrity or do something monumentally stupid.

So this guy entered through one entrance and walked out the other, the clerk not thinking anything of it.

There were two people standing outside the front doors waiting for a cab and he walked up behind the guy and cut his throat with a box cutter then walked away.

We found out he did it to four other people that night before he was stopped, mostly people waiting at bus stops. He didn't actually kill anyone so its not quite as bad as it sounds. He was charged with 5 counts of attempted murder and I'm not sure of the results of the trial.

That was something like ten years ago now.

[MoonCat]

OK, box cutter guy? SUPER CRAZY. Good lord.

Naked guy? Super STUPID. My guess is that whoever he was with the night before doesn't WANT to be remembered.

I'm sure the cops gave him some nice "Property of [county lockup]" clothing to go with his shiny silver bracelets.

[greensinestro]

Is there a nudist resort nearby for this guy? I mean, really? Damn!

Reasons like this are why I don't sleep well at hotels these days. There's nothing like sleeping in your own bed in your own home.

[Seshat]

Hotel folk like Moirae and her husband do their best. Honestly, most hotels (perhaps, most hotels run by good folk), are fine: especially once you're in your room with the door locked.

Outside your room, you're in public - or at least, semi-public. And 'the public' includes people who are crazy*, stupid, or both.


* using 'crazy' not in the mental health sense, but in the sense of 'behaves in a way which makes no apparent sense to the average person'. This can include people with mental health problems; but also includes those who don't, but do things which are ... crazy.

[eltf177]

There's not enough brain bleach to help after hearing that story...

[taxguykarl]

Is there a nudist resort nearby for this guy? I mean, really? Damn!

No, but I'm sure they could easily find a mental institution.

[Argabarga]

If I ever found myself naked, the last thing I'd do was insist the person who found me was suddenly responsible for my welfare........ in ANY meaningful way.

In fact, if I was suddenly naked, I wouldn't want to be FOUND

[Moirae]

You'd be surprised the number of insane and idiotic things people do in hotels. Many of them are things that people wouldn't even do in their own homes. Staff do everything they can so that the good guests don't have their experience ruined by the crazy ones but occasionally the crazy slips past us.

Personally, I'd say that something like this would be a good reason to lower the amount of drinking you do to say.... zero. There's a very good reason why I never drink more than one a night.

[Mr. Anubite]

Was he cute?

Kidding.

Maybe.

But seriously. Was he not embarrassed at all?

[JustShootMe]

Sorry you had to be exposed to his "shortcomings."

[Moirae]

He was very very ummm.... Effeminate. Not sure how else to put it. We think he was a hooker (for many reasons that I won't go in to here) but don't know that for absolutely sure.