It's A Beautiful Day In The Stupidhood....

[EricKei]

Mr. Kt: How`ed you think all those calories get in there anyway?
Me: Sugar, lots of sugar.

Well...that part IS definitely correct. Boozeahol tends to have a fair amount of carbs/sugars, by definition.

[Jester]

I'm one of those "make it slightly on the weaker" side peeps..

Order your drinks tall from now on.

You'll thank me for it.

[mathnerd]

Many people have talents like this, and for a bartender, such talent would be a gift.

A gift I have never possessed. My memory of people is so woeful, it's a bit of a joke among some of my coworkers. I have, for example, carded former coworkers.

Still, two years? Bitch, please!

I do have to say that walking around Old Town, or even going to the grocery store with you is an amusing experience. Watching you pretend to recognize people who greet you by name when you clearly have no clue who they are has been a major source of amusement to me on many occasions. Though I do get it. Having been a teacher, I get approached by people all the time. The best I can usually do us figure out if they were college or middle school students based on if they call me professor or Ms.

As for the parking pass, I have to laugh. It's not like there isn't plenty of free street parking within a block or so. That's just stupid to risk getting towed over a few hundred feet.

[wolfie]

JESTER: "It's a great day at The Bar, this is Jester speaking, how may I help you?"
FEMALE CALLER: "Yes, is your bar open to the public?"
JESTER: "Ummm....yeeeessss....I certainly hope so!"
FEMALE CALLER: "Well, I asked because I saw that you're affiliated with the Key West Yacht Club."
JESTER: "No ma'am, we're not. We're downtown, and the Yacht Club is more midtown. They're basically halfway across the island from us. We're nowhere near them, and not affiliated with them in any way."

But since it's a bar, I'm sure you have a couple types of schooner, and possibly a few boat races. That may be why they associated you with the yacht club.

I hate people like this. Bartenders hate people who say "make it strong" anyway, and I usually say something to the effect of "Do I LOOK like someone who makes weak drinks?" But to say that about a Long Island? Honestly, the only way to make a Long Island stronger would be to pour in some rubbing alcohol, a little gunpowder, and a pinch of nitroglycerin.

Nix the rubbing alcohol - "What's your poison?" is supposed to be a rhetorical question. Everclear (by preference not the wimpy 151 stuff, but that's all you'd have access to) would be a better choice.

I'm sure you've mentioned it, but "make it strong" is usually someone ordering a "normal" (i.e. shot of booze with several times the volume of non-alcoholic mixer) mixed drink, and wanting more than the usual ration of nosepaint without paying for the extra. BTW, I'd like a Shirley Temple - and make it strong.

...some Uranium 238... Shake well...A lighted match -- Swallow the match -- So. *BOOM*

Nope. 238 is the non-radioactive isotope. Perhaps you're thinking of 235 - the isotope that simultaneously "put Hiroshima on the map" (figuratively) and took it off the map (literally)?

Me: I mean there cant be a drink that has tea in its name and not have tea in it.
Mr.Kt: No dear, there isnt any tea in that drink. Its all alcohol, a small splash of coke, but really just mixing drinks.

Root beer (doesn't contain beer). Ginger ale (doesn't contain ale). Sweetbreads (meat). Sweetmeats (baked goods).

[dalesys]

Nope. 238 is the non-radioactive isotope...

Betcha tell all the frontline troops that... Ooopthie! Less radioactive, nowhere near non. Half-lives: U238 4.47GY, U235 704 MY.

[EricKei]

*blinkblink* wolfie. Don't tell me you didn't catch a classic Looney Tunes reference. For shame, Sir, for shame.

[wolfie]

It's been at least 30 years since I watched classic WB cartoons. Also, Canadian TV tends to censor fairly heavily for violence, so (assuming that episode is one that I saw), it would almost certainly have been cut after the exploding xylophone, so they wouldn't have described the mixture.

[Argabarga]

Now that they've censored the use of dynamite in cartoons, do you find your kids less eager to blow up xylophones?

[Jim]

Let's Go Yachting!

Honestly, the only way to make a Long Island stronger would be to pour in some rubbing alcohol, a little gunpowder, and a pinch of nitroglycerin.

And then I'd have THEM shake it!

You forgot the gasoline...and uranium. Oh, and the lit match.



I don't like tequila in my Long Island's. Tequila is for shots, and staring longingly into a toilet bowl with watery eyes.

[Jester]

But since it's a bar, I'm sure you have a couple types of schooner, and possibly a few boat races. That may be why they associated you with the yacht club.



Nix the rubbing alcohol - "What's your poison?" is supposed to be a rhetorical question. Everclear (by preference not the wimpy 151 stuff, but that's all you'd have access to) would be a better choice.

I'm sure you've mentioned it, but "make it strong" is usually someone ordering a "normal" (i.e. shot of booze with several times the volume of non-alcoholic mixer) mixed drink, and wanting more than the usual ration of nosepaint without paying for the extra. BTW, I'd like a Shirley Temple - and make it strong.

For any one of these, I could probably kill you and get off scot-free, as no jury in the land would convict me with the above in evidence.

Root beer (doesn't contain beer). Ginger ale (doesn't contain ale). Sweetbreads (meat). Sweetmeats (baked goods).

Nor beer in ginger beer, nor bombs in Irish Car Bombs, etc., etc., etc.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Nor beer in ginger beer, nor bombs in Irish Car Bombs, etc., etc., etc.

You like that, how about the fact that we drive on the parkway, and park in the driveway?

[Dark Psion]

Precisely!

You were supposed to say...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8u7px_GzWQ

[Monterey Jack]

And Grape Nuts has no grapes or nuts in it.

[Rhania506]

And Grape Nuts has no grapes or nuts in it.

No but "Gravel" didn't do as well in marketing tests.

[sms001]

No but "Gravel" didn't do as well in marketing tests.

Although "Little Bits o' Tasteless Pebbles" has a nice ring to it....