Life gives you morons, make moronade

[customersruinmylife]

A night full of stupidity.

Too Little

Me: OK, so for that is £2.30 altogether please.
*SC hands me £2.20*
Me: You need 10p more sir.
SC: What? It's only 10p!
Me: I'm sorry, but that's the total. I need another 10p.
SC: For God's sake! All of this over 10p! *Hands me 10p*

Too much

Me: OK, so that is £4.99 please.
*SC hands me a credit card*
Me: Ah, it has to be over £5 to pay by card.
SC: OK, just add one pence to my total.
Me: I'm afraid theres no way of doing that.
SC: Just ring it through!
Me: I can't unless it's over £5.
SC: *hands me cash* All this fuss over 1p!

I need money!

SC: Do you have a cash machine in here?
Me: We do, but I'm afraid it's out of cash.
SC: How can a cash machine run out of cash?
Me: It only has a certain amount in it, and it runs out really quickly.
SC: Where's the nearest machine then?
Me: About five minutes down the road.
SC: THANKS FOR NOTHING!]

Me? Pay?

Me: OK, so that is £3.89 altogether.
SC: You mean I have to PAY?
Me: Yessssssss.....

Home made I.D

SC: Pint of lager please.
Me: Can I see some I.D first?
*SC hands me a piece of paper with 04/04/1989 scribbled on it*
Me: Can't take that. We only accept passports or driving licences.
SC: You asked for I.D and I gave you I.D! You have to serve me!
Me: Get out.

Scary man

SC: Pint of bitter please.
Me: Sure.
SC: I'm a bit annoyed. Just got taken out of the job centre by the police...
Me: Oh...dear.
SC: Well its been months and they still haven't got me a job! I had had enough!
Me: Yeah...
SC: They had some kind of problem with me threatening their staff.
Me: *thinks* Oh God, and now I have to serve you*
SC: They have no idea how difficult it is having no money.
Me: *thinks* But you can still afford alcohol though can't you?*

[iradney]

A night full of stupidity.

Me? Pay?

Me: OK, so that is £3.89 altogether.
SC: You mean I have to PAY?
Me: Yessssssss.....

HAHAHAHAH
Must be nice to live in their little world!
You just seem to get all the weird people - "All this fuss over X cents!" I'm sure they'd kick up a bigger fuss if you were to short them 1c in their change!
Here, have a choccie
*hands over choccie*

[Best Made Tacos]

Scary man

SC: Pint of bitter please.
Me: Sure.
SC: I'm a bit annoyed. Just got taken out of the job centre by the police...
Me: Oh...dear.
SC: Well its been months and they still haven't got me a job! I had had enough!
Me: Yeah...
SC: They had some kind of problem with me threatening their staff.
Me: *thinks* Oh God, and now I have to serve you*
SC: They have no idea how difficult it is having no money.
Me: *thinks* But you can still afford alcohol though can't you?*

Well, I can sort of understand that. Centrelink (govt unemployment offices) is INCREDIBLY aggravating. Many is the time I've had to resort to a soothing glass of wine after trying to get my head around why they won't make appointments (strictly walk in only, with a 2 hour wait on average) and how their paperwork is supposed to be filled out.
They once reduced me to tears after I endured the before mentioned wait, 11 phone calls and 2 previous visits, all vainly trying to sort out a fairly basic question. If I were more aggressive by nature, I would probably have been asked to leave the premises.

[Boozy]

SC: Where's the nearest machine then?
Me: About five minutes down the road.
SC: THANKS FOR NOTHING!

Perfect example of when SCs have a totally different conversation going on in their head than the one you're having with them in reality.
Funny thread title, btw.

[wagegoth]

Many is the time I've had to resort to a soothing glass of wine after trying to get my head around why they won't make appointments (strictly walk in only, with a 2 hour wait on average) and how their paperwork is supposed to be filled out.

Here in California, they have closed almost all the unemployment/employment offices. Everything is done by phone or computer.

[Sofar]

Too Little

Me: OK, so for that is £2.30 altogether please.
*SC hands me £2.20*
Me: You need 10p more sir.
SC: What? It's only 10p!
Me: I'm sorry, but that's the total. I need another 10p.
SC: For God's sake! All of this over 10p! *Hands me 10p*

Too much

Me: OK, so that is £4.99 please.
*SC hands me a credit card*
Me: Ah, it has to be over £5 to pay by card.
SC: OK, just add one pence to my total.
Me: I'm afraid theres no way of doing that.
SC: Just ring it through!
Me: I can't unless it's over £5.
SC: *hands me cash* All this fuss over 1p!

My boss and I are fairly lax about these things. I would have just adjusted the price of one of the items by one penny, (our register lets us do that.) The register also wouldn't put up a fuss about doing a cashback of one penny. And we're usually okay if the customer is short, (our cash-handling habits are so imprecise that no one would notice ten pence missing,) but of course this is all if the customer is nice, and not presumptuous. Unfortunately the downside of having no hard-and-fast rules per se, is that when I'm trying to tell a customer I can't take his check, he doesn't like to hear, "We usually don't take checks," or, "We don't take checks from shady looking people who are mean to me." Usually we only take checks if we've seen the person in question here before, and they've made a genuine attempt to pay by another method.

[Freemage]

Okay, I admit to some sympathy for the guy who was 1p short for using plastic. Usually, I carry no more cash than I actually expect to need, and use the debit card for most other purchases.

I had one convenience store clerk tell me I had to buy $10 worth of stuff before I could use my card. When I expressed a reluctance to buy that much junk food (which, really, was all they sold), he pointed to the cash-machine. I looked at it, and realized that I'd essentially be paying a $2 fee to buy a soda and a packet of 'cheeze'-filled pretzels; I shrugged and left.

That store isn't open any more.

[Rapscallion]

I don't know if Job Centres have changed since I was unemployed (this is back some time, folks, and the badger blondness is beginning to show more and more), but they tried to help you with finding a job. You looked at all the jobs on the board, asked them if you needed help in contacting the potential employers, and then you damn well went to the interview and made them want to employ you.

It's not really up to the Job Centre to offer you a post plucked out of their bums.

Rapscallion

[Red Briggs]

Y'know, the job centers are there to help you when you cannot find a job yourself. They are not there to guarentee you a job. Only you can do that.

[zelper]

I don't know if Job Centres have changed since I was unemployed (this is back some time, folks, and the badger blondness is beginning to show more and more), but they tried to help you with finding a job. You looked at all the jobs on the board, asked them if you needed help in contacting the potential employers, and then you damn well went to the interview and made them want to employ you.

It's not really up to the Job Centre to offer you a post plucked out of their bums.

Rapscallion

Completely different these days I'm afraid.

You wait in interminable queues to be seen despite having made an appointment. Then you eventually get seen by some surly individual who wants nothing to do with jobseekers. If you want to find out information about a job you are told to use the computer. The computer has little beyond the basics and often won't even tell you where the employer is located (not even a vague clue). If you ask to speak to someone about smartening up your CV or gaining some basic training you are rejected. You are encouraged to find voluntary work to make your CV look good but you are not actually permitted to do any.

In reality British jobcentres are aimed only at the chronically unemployed. So unless you have been out of work for over six months then you will get no help whatsoever from them. I have no idea if it gets better after six months as I always found work quickly but a friend who used to work in a JC seems to think that things don't get much more helpful after that magic date.

[ominousoat]

SC: Pint of lager please.
Me: Can I see some I.D first?
*SC hands me a piece of paper with 04/04/1989 scribbled on it*
Me: Can't take that. We only accept passports or driving licences.
SC: You asked for I.D and I gave you I.D! You have to serve me!
Me: Get out.

Clearly I.D. stands for "I'm Dopey" in this guys mind. If this is the case, that piece of paper proved it perfectly.

[Rapscallion]

Wowsers - didn't know it was so bad for Job Centres over here. As I said, it was some time ago, and after two weeks they were trying to get me to go into the six-month club, so I think it was a case of them being slightly bored in my region at the time.

Rapscallion

[Velfarre2001]

Ah darn, I was hoping the story ended with morons being crushed, ground up, then squeezed dry to make a pulpy drink to share with the rest of the SC's who managed to survive....... Oh well.

[Becks]

Honestly, who lets these people out in public?

I'm so glad I get to hide in a refrigerated cave most of my shift.

[XCashier]

Life gives you morons, make moronade

Great! I've even got my juicer right here:

Too bad moronade tastes horrible.