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I love work days where I feel like I'm stoned, and yet were I drug tested I would pass clean. I'm just in a good mood and everything is hilarious to me. I take hugs, not drugs.
Anyhow, these are the things that made me laugh, and perhaps they will make you chuckle as well:
SC: My bill last mont said I owed 42.00, and that's what I paid, but now it's saying I owe 500 some dollars.
ME, looking up bill: Um, okay, well that may have been a misprint on your bill, but your bill has been about a few hundred for this entire winter.
SC: Did you receive a home heating credit (tax refund thing in certain states)?
ME: No.
[click]
Okay, so she hung up, no big deal. But then a few moments later I get a call.
ME: Thank you for calling my name is ominousoat how can I help you today?
[click]
Hmm, okay, oh good another phone call!
ME: Thank you for calling my name is ominousoat how can I help you...
[click]
Odd, two in a row. [checking number] Ah! It's the same lady. Heh, apparently she doesn't want to speak with me again, oh wait! another call.
ME: Thank you for calling my name is ominou...
[click]
By this time I am cracking up. Not only is it odd I'm getting the same person over and over again, but I find it hilarious that she's going mad trying to get anyone but me, and what's this? Another call!
ME: Thank you for calling my name is om...
[click]
Sure enough, it was her again. By this point I was near debilitated with laughter at the thought of her absolutely fuming and yelling in frustration that she kept getting the same guy. Then my fun ended and she seemed to give up. Ah well.
TSG = This Sucks Guy
ME = ME
TSG: I just go this OUTRAGEOUS bill, and it really sucks. I thought I was only paying [budgeted amount].
ME: Well, it looks like you were supposed to pay [budgeted amount] but since you never paid it in the past we took you off of the plan.
TSG: That sucks. Why is my bill so high?
ME: Because since you weren't paying anything for three months, you now have to pay for three months worth of gas usage.
TSG: That sucks. I thought I was paying [budgeted amount].
ME: Yes. You were supposed to pay [budgeted amount] but you never did. Consequently you now have to pay the regular amount for your gas service used for the past three months.
TSG: I wish I had never signed up for your so called "budget" plan. You are sucky gas company!
[click]
ME: *laughter*
Nothing is more funny than a stupid customer that says, in essence, I HAVE TO PAY FOR SERVICES RENDERED?! YOU GUYS SUCK!
Moving on.
SAC = Stupid Assumptuous Customer
ME = ME
SAC: The last guy was supposed to automatically withdraw x amount on x date, and he never did.
ME: Well, I see that you agreed to pay x amount on x date, but I don't see you making an automatic payment.
SAC: He was supposed to do it!
ME: Ma'am, we have no system in place to schedule one payment for the future. Are you sure he said he would do that?
SAC: Well...I mean, I thought this process was automatic.
ME: Did you give any bank information?
SAC: Well...no...
ME: Then we had absolutely no way of withdrawing a payment.
SAC: But I assumed...
Yeah, that one wasn't so much funny, but sad. Most customers fear corporations just taking their money. Some simply accept it as inevitable. It's a wonder this woman ever paid her bills, rather than just assuming bills paid themselves.
Oh, and while I was writing this the co-worker behind me got a call from the first lady, and *gasp* her story was suddenly very different than when she spoke with me originally. Apparrently now she mailed in a money order for 500 some dollars, and she's not disputing that her bill's 500 dollars. Silly me, and here I thought she was disputing that amount. Anyhow, now she's swearing we've lost her payment, oh and the money order reciept? She threw it away of course. The hilarity of this all is that I had to advise the co-worker what to do for the lady that rued speaking with me. Heh.
Anyhow, these are the things that made me laugh, and perhaps they will make you chuckle as well:
SC: My bill last mont said I owed 42.00, and that's what I paid, but now it's saying I owe 500 some dollars.
ME, looking up bill: Um, okay, well that may have been a misprint on your bill, but your bill has been about a few hundred for this entire winter.
SC: Did you receive a home heating credit (tax refund thing in certain states)?
ME: No.
[click]
Okay, so she hung up, no big deal. But then a few moments later I get a call.
ME: Thank you for calling my name is ominousoat how can I help you today?
[click]
Hmm, okay, oh good another phone call!
ME: Thank you for calling my name is ominousoat how can I help you...
[click]
Odd, two in a row. [checking number] Ah! It's the same lady. Heh, apparently she doesn't want to speak with me again, oh wait! another call.
ME: Thank you for calling my name is ominou...
[click]
By this time I am cracking up. Not only is it odd I'm getting the same person over and over again, but I find it hilarious that she's going mad trying to get anyone but me, and what's this? Another call!
ME: Thank you for calling my name is om...
[click]
Sure enough, it was her again. By this point I was near debilitated with laughter at the thought of her absolutely fuming and yelling in frustration that she kept getting the same guy. Then my fun ended and she seemed to give up. Ah well.
TSG = This Sucks Guy
ME = ME
TSG: I just go this OUTRAGEOUS bill, and it really sucks. I thought I was only paying [budgeted amount].
ME: Well, it looks like you were supposed to pay [budgeted amount] but since you never paid it in the past we took you off of the plan.
TSG: That sucks. Why is my bill so high?
ME: Because since you weren't paying anything for three months, you now have to pay for three months worth of gas usage.
TSG: That sucks. I thought I was paying [budgeted amount].
ME: Yes. You were supposed to pay [budgeted amount] but you never did. Consequently you now have to pay the regular amount for your gas service used for the past three months.
TSG: I wish I had never signed up for your so called "budget" plan. You are sucky gas company!
[click]
ME: *laughter*
Nothing is more funny than a stupid customer that says, in essence, I HAVE TO PAY FOR SERVICES RENDERED?! YOU GUYS SUCK!
Moving on.
SAC = Stupid Assumptuous Customer
ME = ME
SAC: The last guy was supposed to automatically withdraw x amount on x date, and he never did.
ME: Well, I see that you agreed to pay x amount on x date, but I don't see you making an automatic payment.
SAC: He was supposed to do it!
ME: Ma'am, we have no system in place to schedule one payment for the future. Are you sure he said he would do that?
SAC: Well...I mean, I thought this process was automatic.
ME: Did you give any bank information?
SAC: Well...no...
ME: Then we had absolutely no way of withdrawing a payment.
SAC: But I assumed...
Yeah, that one wasn't so much funny, but sad. Most customers fear corporations just taking their money. Some simply accept it as inevitable. It's a wonder this woman ever paid her bills, rather than just assuming bills paid themselves.
Oh, and while I was writing this the co-worker behind me got a call from the first lady, and *gasp* her story was suddenly very different than when she spoke with me originally. Apparrently now she mailed in a money order for 500 some dollars, and she's not disputing that her bill's 500 dollars. Silly me, and here I thought she was disputing that amount. Anyhow, now she's swearing we've lost her payment, oh and the money order reciept? She threw it away of course. The hilarity of this all is that I had to advise the co-worker what to do for the lady that rued speaking with me. Heh.
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