How I lost my confidence...

[Kim Brody]

I have made a new rule while serving people. I will not give you what you want if you raise your voice or try to intimidate me or say 'you have ruined my day'. I am going to treat you like a child and once you are nice and use proper manners I will give you what you need. Unless of course it is my fault entirely.
I say this because I got my first customers yell at me and demand things from me. I won't go fully into it because I am still shaken up about it and yes it did make me cry. I am never one for confrontation and it has scared me and so now I have become timid while working again, I lost my confidence!
Bg: I work in a cinema.

Basically these people gave me a gift card and for some reason it was invalid so I called up my manager and they said ask them to wait. Of course I had to get the most impatient people in the world and they just wanted to go in. The lady said 'we should just go in to the movie because this is inconvenient.' Normally I would let them in but since she said it while huffy and rude I disagreed. Then she thought up a 'better' option, 'if I give you money, you give me a ticket and I'll pick up my money on the way out!' she said while violently chucking money at me. So basically they just yelled and pointed and swore until they just gave up and gave me money (yes they actually paid!) . As soon as they left I went around the back to cry. We are still sorting out the gift card but thankfully that's the IT guys job.

I understand it's stressful but don't yell at me and chuck a tantrum! I'm 20 I don't think I should have to take care of children just yet, especially not three 50 year olds.
So that's my story of the first customers that ever made me cry.

[RealUnimportant]

The first time's the worst. After that, you start building your coping mechanisms & it gets easier to accommodate - I won't say accept or tolerate because it's neither acceptable or tolerable behaviour on their part. Instead, you just need to do as you've just done, & start reframing the encounter in a more accurate way; they're not authority figures just because they're twice your age, instead they're overgrown children that deserve a spanking, and you denying them what they want is the best way of delivering discipline.

My long-favoured method is to think of how bad their day is going to be if they act like this all the time, and compare it to mine where I only have to suffer their bullshit for a few minutes at most. On balance, I'm fairly confident my day is going to be better than theirs!

[Shyla]

Unfortunately, people are jerks. The best thing is to find out how much pushback your manager allows you to do.

[RobertM]

When I worked in retail many moons ago I just thought to myself that at least I will get rid of the idiots, some poor souls are looking forward to them getting home!!

[downforit2008]

When I came home from a long day in a Retail job and didn't consider drinking an entire bottle of hard-liquor the first moment I set foot in the door, it was a good day.

Or when I'd have a customer yell at me in my face and I didn't grab the nearest two-by-four and smash their face in with it with a baseball bat swing, I knew I hadn't completely lost my sanity.

One time, I SWEAR TO GOD I was about to lose my temper at a customer who was cursing me out, and when I took a step towards his departing back with my fists clenched, the next customer who needed my help stopped me to ask directions in a polite tone of voice. When I pointed out the aisle, she gave me a hug and said, "You look like you've had a long day and I think you could definitely use one of these!"

Needless to say, my anger completely subsided after that.

[XCashier]

The first time's the worst. After that, you start building your coping mechanisms & it gets easier to accommodate - I won't say accept or tolerate because it's neither acceptable or tolerable behaviour on their part.

Even with experience, someone nasty enough can still make you cry or rage. I've been in the workforce for twenty-eight years, and most of the time, I just inwardly at asshole customers, but once in a while, someone will push just the right buttons and...

[RealUnimportant]

Even with experience, someone nasty enough can still make you cry or rage. I've been in the workforce for twenty-eight years, and most of the time, I just inwardly at asshole customers, but once in a while, someone will push just the right buttons and...

Oh yeah, it'll keep happening; I took my first steps into this world 25 years ago myself. It's just that first one is the worst because you've no experience of it - it helps build up armour so only the hardest-shirking SCs can hope to elicit a reaction, and it helps build stamina so you can find a safe space & deny them the satisfaction of seeing they got through.

I'm expecting a lot of "testing" today, it's Fare Increase Day and some stuff is creeping up a few pennies while other stuff is leaping up a few pounds... :/

[Lovecats]

I'm expecting a lot of "testing" today, it's Fare Increase Day and some stuff is creeping up a few pennies while other stuff is leaping up a few pounds... :/

And it'll ALL be your fault!

[notalwaysright]

Of course I had to get the most impatient people in the world

Yup, of course they were the most impatient. It's some sort of horrible rule that the SCs are ALWAYS the ones that have problems. They are the one's who don't understand the way the line works, or the take-a-ticket system, or coupons, or don't have their receipt. You name it, they did it wrong. But it's all YOUR FAULT! They are perfect, and the rest of the world is stupid.

I can't think of any SC who made me cry (I have rage-cried before, but only direct family have pushed me that far) but some have made me so mad that my hands visibly shake. Honestly, after years of customer service, I put up with less than I did in the beginning. I got more comfortable calling for a manager, and not feeling guilty about it.

[mjr]

Even with experience, someone nasty enough can still make you cry or rage. I've been in the workforce for twenty-eight years, and most of the time, I just inwardly at asshole customers, but once in a while, someone will push just the right buttons and...

You know, I've been out of food service now for almost fifteen years (I worked at a King of Burgers), and I STILL reluctantly use the drive thru, and I still have these moments where I'll remember some of the Sucky/Dumb customers that we'd have, and I STILL tense up a little.

Things like sucky customers can stay with you, even beyond your "customer service" and retail years.

I'm in IT now, so I've gone from dealing with SCs to the occasional "moron in management", and people that are planning these projects (I guess you could call them customers) who still don't know what they want.

If I were to run my own shop, ever, I don't know how long I'd stay in business. I don't easily suffer fools, as the expression goes.

Although I think I'd have fun with the first few times I got the "I know the owner" or "Let me speak to the manager/owner" card...

[Legacy_of_Torment]

Hello there, I also work in a cinema and have to deal with the same kinds of rude, impatient people on a daily basis. I also have a tendency to be quite sensitive and hate confrontation. However, as someone else Said, the first time is the worst, after that, you start to see SCs for what they are: overgrown children who are basically acting up. You did well to deal with this so patiently. I often get snooty customers trying to rush or fuss through a transaction because they are running late, if they become snippy I just go slower and become 'extra helpful' that way they can't report you for their own idiocy. Because of course what we are actually thinking is their crappy time keeping is not our problem.

[RealUnimportant]

Hello there, I also work in a cinema and have to deal with the same kinds of rude, impatient people on a daily basis. I also have a tendency to be quite sensitive and hate confrontation. However, as someone else Said, the first time is the worst, after that, you start to see SCs for what they are: overgrown children who are basically acting up. You did well to deal with this so patiently. I often get snooty customers trying to rush or fuss through a transaction because they are running late, if they become snippy I just go slower and become 'extra helpful' that way they can't report you for their own idiocy. Because of course what we are actually thinking is their crappy time keeping is not our problem.

<<< Someone

And yes, becoming the most attentive cashier ever is a brilliant way of achieving some level of revenge control over the situation without doing anything you can get in trouble for. Bonus points if you can fake issues with the till or payment devices.

[Legacy_of_Torment]

I often don't even have to fake the till errors, our system regularly crashes mid transaction. Usually when dealing with an SC. Whoever designed the program it runs needs a pat on the back. They get so irate and announce they'll never come back. If only that were true ^_^

[Totiono]

Even with experience, someone nasty enough can still make you cry or rage. I've been in the workforce for twenty-eight years, and most of the time, I just inwardly at asshole customers, but once in a while, someone will push just the right buttons and...

I haven't been in the workforce long but I can attest to this. The first few times I dealt with nasty people at my job I just about lost it (emotionally, not aggressively) and nearly quit right then and there. I didn't think I was strong enough to be able to handle it even one more time and I desperately started looking into department transfers. Then over time it got easier. It really helped to think to myself "If they really want to get so nasty over such a petty issue and put that damper on their own way then that is their choice" every time I encountered one.

Still though, there is the occasional asshole that just hits a nerve. A few months back I greeted a customer/guest that was entering and this exchange happened. Actually, she greeted me before I even had the chance to greet her first.

SC: Hello. How are you?
Me: I'm doing very well, thank you! How about yourself?
SC: ... I don't like you. I like the girl who was here earlier better. (referring to the co-worker that I was filling in for while they were on break)

I was sort of in shock that the miserable old crone felt it was absolutely necessary to say that so I just said "Oh, okay, well enjoy your day!" with a smile on my face. I've had guests say much nastier things to me before but something about this old woman really just upset me. After the initial shock of "Did she REALLY just say that?" wore off I couldn't help but wonder what I possibly could've done in those two seconds to apparently make her dislike me enough to warrant that kind of response. The more the day went on the more I wanted to cry about it.

[XCashier]

SC: Hello. How are you?
Me: I'm doing very well, thank you! How about yourself?
SC: ... I don't like you. I like the girl who was here earlier better.

...After the initial shock of "Did she REALLY just say that?" wore off I couldn't help but wonder what I possibly could've done in those two seconds to apparently make her dislike me enough to warrant that kind of response.

You didn't do anything wrong; she just wanted someone to bully. Who knows, she may have said the exact same thing to "the girl who was here earlier". People like that get their giggles off of being absolutely horrible to someone else. and to you for putting up with that bitch.