Would you like help finding your seat? (a bit long)

[Lioness Blackfire]

So, a little background here. I'm the house manager for a community theater's current production. (Volunteer work, unfortuanately, but the people are really nice. But that's not the point.) As house manager, one of my duties is to be the head usher (after all, who knows the seats better than the one who set them up?). Whenever someone who has a ticket approaches the entrance of our makeshift theatre, I hold out a program and offer, "Would you like help finding your seat(s)?"

Now, most people flash a ticket at me and I lead them to their seat(s), no big whoop. But about a quarter of these people peer inside the room, reply that they can find their seats, and I let them go on ahead.

Inevitably, ten minutes later, I'll glance into the room and who is wandering around in little confused circles with dumbfounded expression, glancing at their tickets and then at the seats and back again, but my happy little do-it-themselfers.

I suppose this might be the wrong forum, because these people aren't "sucky" (though I could go on a rant about our ticket lady... another time), but their lack of seat-finding ability confuses me every performance. It's not complicated, people! We only have seven rows, and no more than twenty-seven seats in each row. "A" row is the first one, going all the way to "G" row in the back. Numbers start low near the far wall, and rise as they approach the entrance. Each (dark blue) seat is labelled with a (white) paper stating it's row and number. (E.G. - A1, B17, G22, ect.) The font is a LARGE size 100 (I'd know, I printed them out), it's quite readable! What exactly hinders you, my customers, from locating your C7, C8, C9, and C10? Could I have made it any simpler? (I think not!)

Haha! Sorry for going on for a bit. There were a lot of do-it-themselfers tonight.

[Rapscallion]

Predominantly men, eh? We're notorious for not asking directions until hopelessly lost.

Rapscallion

[Imogene]

*places hands on her hips, lets her fingers wander a bit*
Found mine!

[Becks]

Could I have made it any simpler? (I think not!)

Yes, you could've. Just make a bunch of signs that say, "You sit here".

[Ghostlightkeeper]

Ahhh, reminds me of the time I spent as house manager in a little theater in NYC.

Have you gotten the patrons yet who become irate with you when they find someone else in their seat only to have you look at their tickets and find that they are sitting at the opposite side of the room? (Bonus points if it's a box office screw up and there really are two tickets for one set of seats.) (Double bonus points if the house is sold out.)

Or better yet, have you gotten any patrons who yell at you because their seats aren't "Good Seats" and they asked specifically for good seats? (Bonus points if the house is sold out.) (Double bonus points if they reserved their tickets less then 24 hours before and were told that there weren't many seats left.) (Triple bonus points if they just bought their tickets at the door.)

Community theater goers are usually nice, mostly because they are coming to see someone in the show and they don't want to embarrass them but when you get a community theater SC it's like a five alarm fire. NYC theater patrons are more sucky in general and they have a special kind of highbrow artistic entitlement suckyness.

[Lioness Blackfire]

Have you gotten the patrons yet who become irate with you when they find someone else in their seat only to have you look at their tickets and find that they are sitting at the opposite side of the room? (Bonus points if it's a box office screw up and there really are two tickets for one set of seats.) (Double bonus points if the house is sold out.)

Super mega bonus points when one of the ladies with the identical tickets is someone you've known for years and has been in shows there in the past, sitting next to and conversing with her friend who also happens to be the sweetest, kindest old lady you've ever known (who you've known for even more years)... and the other lady with an identical ticket is a timid indian(?) woman who doesn't speak much english, and who you're having a difficult time explaining to that the house is sold out, but we can come up with something.

Or better yet, have you gotten any patrons who yell at you because their seats aren't "Good Seats" and they asked specifically for good seats? (Bonus points if the house is sold out.) (Double bonus points if they reserved their tickets less then 24 hours before and were told that there weren't many seats left.) (Triple bonus points if they just bought their tickets at the door.)

Quadruple bonus points if we're not only sold out, but we informed the patron that we're having to add seats on the sides of the risers because the show is oversold.

It is true, though, that almost everyone who came through the doors was very pleasant (most likely for the reasons you stated).

Predominantly men, eh?

Actually, no. It seems that this year's most likely offenders are thirty-five to forty year old mothers with large troupes of loud but surprisingly well-behaved children that are all just a little too young to read and therefore help her find the seats. Of course... that could very well be because about half our patrons fit into that category, due to the fact that this year's musical was Seussical.


There was also one new breed of people who managed to crawl out of the woodwork just in time for closing night. These people would come up to me and ask where to pick up their tickets at. Cue me looking slooowly to the table no more than five feet to my left with our ticket lady behind it sorting through the multiple packets of pre-paid tickets laid out on the table and handing them out to other patrons as these people stand there and ask me where the tickets are. I would always just reply, "Right there sir/ma'am." and point, at which point said theatregoer would walk right up to the table and look honestly confused when the busy ticket lady informed them that they needed to go to the back of the line. You know, that line stretching from the table down the hallway and clear up the stairs you had to walk down to even get here? That might be where you wanna go.