Nickames and other such fun

[Kara]

Oh the humanity. Let's get started, shall we?

SW = Sucky Woman
SM = Sucky Man
ME = Of course

Obviously this guy isn't European

Special Instruction on cusotmer's account : "William likes to be called WC"

That just made me laugh.

...

SM: This account was supposed to have been canceled!

This guy hadn't called since October. At that time he was disputing a charge on his bill but nothing in the notes suggested he wanted to cancel. He's been paying his bill every month. Not through auto-pay, but he's been sending checks for an account he thought he canceled 6 months ago.

You have the right to remain stupid

*A little background on this one. Phones that use SIM cards are "locked" so they only take one company's SIM. Most phones can be "unlocked" so that they'll use a different SIM and thus, a different provider's network. Customers like to unlock their phones so they can go to another country and use a prepaid SIM from a foreign provider instead of the international roaming charges, and I understand why. But not all phones can be unlocked.

SM: I want cancel my account because you won't unlock my phone!
ME: Hmm, well, I see you requested for an unlock and our unlock department found that there is no unlock code for your phone. They even contacted the manufacturer, who confirmed they had no code for your serial #.
SM: Then replace my phone! It is defective!
ME: No, actually, it's working fine.
SM: But it can't be unlocked!
ME: Unfortunately not, but that doesn't make it defective. The manufacturer programmed the phone to only work on our network. So it's technically doing exactly what it's supposed to.
SM: Then how am I supposed to use my phone in India?
ME: We do offer roaming-
SM: I don't want to pay!
ME: Then we could look at buying a new phone and attempt to unlock it, but again, we can't guarantee the phone can be unlocked.
SM: Then you cancel my account!
ME: In that case, you'll be charged a termination fee since it's under contract.
SM: You cannot charge me fee! You are required to unlock my phone and you do not do this.
ME: We offer the unlock when possible as a courtesy. We are not required to unlock the devices at all.
SM: You are violating my rights!
ME: How so?
SM: You violate my right to choose!
ME: Not being able to unlock a phone so you can use a different provider's network has nothing to do with freedom of choice. The choice you made was to start an account with our service.
SM: *click

That one pretty much speaks for itself. Tough taco, pal.

More fun with math

SM: I need to cancel because I opened a new account to get free phones.
ME: I can get you free phones on your old account and save you the activation fees.
SM: Yeah, but if I take the phones back, the guy will charge me $20 for all 4 of them and that's, like, $100.
ME: $80, actually. And you understand that by keeping the lines from the store, you're going to be charged Activation Fees totaling $140, right? As opposed to $80 for returning the phones?
SM: Yeah, but I don't want to go all the way back to the store. Just cancel the old account.

Whatever, dude. Have fun being an idiot.

This one will make your brain bleed

SW: You should just give me the credit! It would be more smarter to take care of a longtime customer and keep her happy.

Well it seems I izn't az smartr az u iz.

Would you like some fries with that Waaamburger?

SW: You can't charge me for not returning the defective phone! They never told me I had to return it!
ME: That's why it's called an exchange. We send you a phone, you send the defective phone back. When you don't send the phone back, you are charged the cost of us buying another one from the manufacturer.
SW: But they never told me I had to return it!
ME: I wasn't there, so I don't know what was discussed. But, when you received the phone you also received a letter stating to return the old device, a prepaid return shipping label, and a box to send the old one back.
SW: Well, I got the label and some letter about setting up the new phone or something.
ME: And had you read the letter, you would have seen the advisement to send the old phone back. You also would have received a text message after 2 weeks letting you know we hadn't received the defective phone yet.
SW: Look, I'm busy, ok! I'm 19, I work, I don't have time to be sending phones back!
ME: I can understand. I'm a little older, I work 10 hours a day, I spend a lot of time with my god-children, yet when I have phones replaced I can find time to drop them off at the UPS store to send the old ones back.
SW: I don't care! I don't need to know your life story! Are you going to take the charge off or not?
ME: The charge is now your responsibility.
SW: *click!

See? It is annoying when you tell people, "Well, I'm such and such and I do so and so and blah blah blah!" How does that medicine taste? Bitter?

[Broomjockey]

See? It is annoying when you tell people, "Well, I'm such and such and I do so and so and blah blah blah!" How does that medicine taste? Bitter?

I never get to win that game. I think some people CHEAT! Either that or I must have an execptionally decent life.

Nah.

[BdwayBabu799]

See? It is annoying when you tell people, "Well, I'm such and such and I do so and so and blah blah blah!" How does that medicine taste? Bitter?[/QUOTE]



I used to work for a cell phone company as well in Customer Service and that reminds me of a customer I had and I did the same thing to her...

I was working 35 hours a week, going to school full time and I had an internship so I was pretty busy and she calls to inquire about her daughters bill. She is not on the account so she cannot ask any questions without her daughters permission. I offered to call her daughter so that she can have me place her mothers name on the account and it goes downhill from there.

SC: "I opened this account for my daughter, you could take me money but you won't let me gain any info on the account."

Me:"If you opened the account for her, you should have been added as a contact on the account, which I am trying to do for you."

SC: "My daughter is in college, she works 60 hours a week, she does not have time to talk to you."

Me: "Well, I worked throughout undergrad and grad school, I have an internship, I work here 35 hours per week and while I sympathize with your daughter's busy schedule, I would have time to have a 30 second conversation with someone to get an issue taken care of"

SC: "My daughter does not work! She cannot pay this"

Me:"Um..I thought you said your daughter works 60 hours a week"

SC:..."Let me talk to your supervisor"

Customers like to complain but when you try to get on their level at times it backfires. I once told a customer who was upset about a high bill that I was sorry and I understood not wanting a high bill and not feeling like she is getting any help and she began yelling at me and I finally said "I'm a consumer too, don't you think I have errors sometimes on my bills, don't you think I order things and there are issues, do you think you are the only one who has had trouble paying a bill?" they don't get it..

[Kara]

Me:"Um..I thought you said your daughter works 60 hours a week"

SC:..."Let me talk to your supervisor"

Ah, yes. The beloved catch-all when you catch them in a lie and/or make them realize how stupid they sound. Music to my ears.

[Foxglove8778]

Yes, I am a voice on the phone. Yes, I work for the company that you are annoyed with at the moment. Kindly try to remember that I am a person.

Also, don't try to get into a "who has it worse" contest with me. First, I really don't care. Second, even if I do care, it won't change the policies I have to follow. Third, I usually win out on that contest anyway.