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Wherein Kara owns me a favour. ><
Yes, me and Kara's callers seriously do overlap. I'm not kidding. I get directly exposed to her customers through one of our clients. It all makes sense now, doesn't it? ><
Rage
While I do appreciate having the morning ops come in to relieve me, the down side is I have to stop swearing out loud. Thus I must remain contented by shaking my first at the monitor in silent rage. I am full of rage. Rage and Beaver Buzz. Oh yes.
So many jackasses tonight…why are there so many jackasses? Its like a constant, unfaltering stream of jackass as if they're rolling off of some sort of jackass production line somewhere at some high tech jackass factory. Curse you, jackass factory. CURSE YOU.
The Rift
Me: "and what's the expiration date?"
SC: "Oh, uh….just one moment……<click>"
"….."
Literally 3 seconds later he calls right back
SC: "Oh hi, I just called a few minutes ago?"
Me: "...."
A few minutes ago, eh? Maybe you better keep your Visa in your wallet rather then that gaping rift into an alternate dimension where time has no meaning that must be in your living room. I wish I had a gaping rift in my living room. I'd push people into it and laugh. People like you.
Favours
SC: "Can you call <Kara's company> right now and make them turn on my phone?! I need my phone RIGHT NOW!"
Survey says "no". I actually have a friend that works at <Kara's company>. She would stab me in the face with the nearest object she could reach if I redirected your butt crack mining stupidity in her direction. I can do without having the back of my nasal cavity violated by a neon green highlighter so you're going to have to learn to live without a cell phone for 4 hours of your miserable "trying to pay my cell phone bill at 4 am in a dingy gas station" life.
If you need your phone RIGHT NOW as you indicated, may I direct you to the miraculous invention know as the "payphone"? I hear they actually like, put them out on the STREET where anyone can use them! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! HOLY @#$! I'M GOING TO GO USE ONE RIGHT NOW! Lemme call you! What's your number?!
Oh wait, you can't receive a call because your cell phone is off. Sucks to be you, yuppie spawn.
Playoff Commentary
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "Uh……that’s a good question."
Yes, yes it is. Now if you could give me a good answer we'd be a roll, wouldn't we? Hell, if you could give me a good reason to keep listening to you dribble on the receiver we'd have a hat trick! Then maybe we wouldn't be down 3-1 to those Monkey Ducks or whatever the hell it is those asshats in Anaheim call themselves now. Er, wait, what were we talking about again?
Antlered Rage
SC: "Oh, you're still open are you?"
You sound surprised. Which indicates you called despite the fact you thought we were closed. This enrages me. I will now begin fervently hoping that you're pulled screaming from your car by a raging bull moose and vigorously mauled during your commute to work this morning. I hope you weren't planning on going to Starbucks first either. Lattes only make them angry. You wouldn't like them when they're angry.
3 Strike Rule
( This guy had the thickest, inbred backwoods red neck accent/dialect too. >< )
Me: "Ok, the number is xxx-"
SC: "xxx"
Me: "246"
SC: "Wha?"
Me: "246"
SC: "1?"
Me: "2-4-6"
SC: "206?"
Me: "24-6…"
SC: "I can't unnerstan you"
Me: "2-4-6. 24-6. 2-46?"
SC: "………still can’t"
Me: "2.....4......6"
SC: "7?"
Me: "246"
SC: "24?"
Me: "246"
SC: "246?"
Me: "Yes!"
Argggghhhhhh. That’s it! No more! You only get 3 tries! You have run out lives. You have no credits left. You've run out of quarters. You’ve struck out. You've up retard creek without the paddle OR the friggan boat. As I said you only get 3 tries. If you fail on those 3, which you did, gloriously, then I have no recourse but to you have you dragged out to the woods, stripped naked, smeared with honey, tied bent over to a tree stump and left in bear country. Sorry, Skippy, but it’s the only way to be sure you never bother us again.
Sigh, and this is only day 1...
Rage
While I do appreciate having the morning ops come in to relieve me, the down side is I have to stop swearing out loud. Thus I must remain contented by shaking my first at the monitor in silent rage. I am full of rage. Rage and Beaver Buzz. Oh yes.
So many jackasses tonight…why are there so many jackasses? Its like a constant, unfaltering stream of jackass as if they're rolling off of some sort of jackass production line somewhere at some high tech jackass factory. Curse you, jackass factory. CURSE YOU.
The Rift
Me: "and what's the expiration date?"
SC: "Oh, uh….just one moment……<click>"
"….."
Literally 3 seconds later he calls right back
SC: "Oh hi, I just called a few minutes ago?"
Me: "...."
A few minutes ago, eh? Maybe you better keep your Visa in your wallet rather then that gaping rift into an alternate dimension where time has no meaning that must be in your living room. I wish I had a gaping rift in my living room. I'd push people into it and laugh. People like you.
Favours
SC: "Can you call <Kara's company> right now and make them turn on my phone?! I need my phone RIGHT NOW!"
Survey says "no". I actually have a friend that works at <Kara's company>. She would stab me in the face with the nearest object she could reach if I redirected your butt crack mining stupidity in her direction. I can do without having the back of my nasal cavity violated by a neon green highlighter so you're going to have to learn to live without a cell phone for 4 hours of your miserable "trying to pay my cell phone bill at 4 am in a dingy gas station" life.
If you need your phone RIGHT NOW as you indicated, may I direct you to the miraculous invention know as the "payphone"? I hear they actually like, put them out on the STREET where anyone can use them! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! HOLY @#$! I'M GOING TO GO USE ONE RIGHT NOW! Lemme call you! What's your number?!
Oh wait, you can't receive a call because your cell phone is off. Sucks to be you, yuppie spawn.
Playoff Commentary
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "Uh……that’s a good question."
Yes, yes it is. Now if you could give me a good answer we'd be a roll, wouldn't we? Hell, if you could give me a good reason to keep listening to you dribble on the receiver we'd have a hat trick! Then maybe we wouldn't be down 3-1 to those Monkey Ducks or whatever the hell it is those asshats in Anaheim call themselves now. Er, wait, what were we talking about again?
Antlered Rage
SC: "Oh, you're still open are you?"
You sound surprised. Which indicates you called despite the fact you thought we were closed. This enrages me. I will now begin fervently hoping that you're pulled screaming from your car by a raging bull moose and vigorously mauled during your commute to work this morning. I hope you weren't planning on going to Starbucks first either. Lattes only make them angry. You wouldn't like them when they're angry.
3 Strike Rule
( This guy had the thickest, inbred backwoods red neck accent/dialect too. >< )
Me: "Ok, the number is xxx-"
SC: "xxx"
Me: "246"
SC: "Wha?"
Me: "246"
SC: "1?"
Me: "2-4-6"
SC: "206?"
Me: "24-6…"
SC: "I can't unnerstan you"
Me: "2-4-6. 24-6. 2-46?"
SC: "………still can’t"
Me: "2.....4......6"
SC: "7?"
Me: "246"
SC: "24?"
Me: "246"
SC: "246?"
Me: "Yes!"
Argggghhhhhh. That’s it! No more! You only get 3 tries! You have run out lives. You have no credits left. You've run out of quarters. You’ve struck out. You've up retard creek without the paddle OR the friggan boat. As I said you only get 3 tries. If you fail on those 3, which you did, gloriously, then I have no recourse but to you have you dragged out to the woods, stripped naked, smeared with honey, tied bent over to a tree stump and left in bear country. Sorry, Skippy, but it’s the only way to be sure you never bother us again.
Sigh, and this is only day 1...
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