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I swear I learned mine in kindergarten...

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  • I swear I learned mine in kindergarten...

    Phone call. Verbatim, except for the names being changed to protect the terminally confused. I don't even want to call this lady sucky because she was very nice and polite and understanding. But damn.

    Me: "Newsroom."
    Chirpy Lady: "Hi, I was needing to do a correction on an engagement announcement for this Sunday's paper."
    Me: "Um, okay, let me see if I can help you. What's the name on the announcement?"
    CL: "Smith-Jones." (My emphasis.)
    Me: "Okay, just a moment."

    *leaves, spends 3 minutes and 42 seconds searching through a folder with a grand total of four engagement announcements in it, not one of which is Smith-Jones. None of the wedding announcements are Smith-Jones. None of the anniversary announcements are Smith-Jones. There is no Smith-Jones anywhere in the society folder at all*

    Me: *picks phone back up* "Ma'am, I'm not finding that engagement announcement, was it going to be a paid one?" (Those are done in a different department.)
    CL: "No, no, it's a free one, I know I sent it up to the free department because I talked to a lady and that's where she sent me."
    Me: *suppressed sigh* "All right, just a moment, ma'am."

    *spends another 4 minutes and 27 seconds searching the folder AGAIN, including rubbing at each and every piece of paper to be absolutely sure the announcement wasn't just stuck to the back of another sheet*

    Me: *picks the phone back up* "Ma'am, I'm sorry, are you sure that announcement was to run for this Sunday?"
    CL: "Yes, I'm sure. A lady sent me a form last week, and had me fill it out and send it back."
    Me: *awareness dawning, as I recalled having been the one to assist this woman, and I find the form that I remembered her sending me, managing not to growl or anything* "Ma'am...would it be the Johnson-Miller engagement?"
    CL: "Yes! Yes, that's the one!"

    Yeah, we handled her issue and moved on, but Jesus tapdancing Christ. How can you forget your own freaking name on your own freaking engagement announcement. They weren't even remotely similar names. "Johns" and "Johnson" I could kinda see. "Smith" and "Johnson" are not alike at all.

    My eyes hurt. Awwww.
    "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

  • #2
    I-How-WHAT? Hell i spend half my life correcting my name.... HOW THE HELL DID SHE FORGET HER NAME???! my heads hurts just trying to wrap it around that idea...

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    • #3
      maybe it wasn't her own engagement - maybe she was placing the ad for someone. Still - you should know the names...... and neither Smith nor Jones are anything like Miller.

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      • #4
        Quoth air914 View Post
        maybe it wasn't her own engagement - maybe she was placing the ad for someone. Still - you should know the names...... and neither Smith nor Jones are anything like Miller.
        I wish it were the truth, but no. From being the one who talked to her last week, I can promise you that it is her engagement.

        I accidently typed "obit" when I wrote that statement. Freudian much?
        "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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        • #5
          omg.... that is just 90 shades of stupid right there.... wow.
          GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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          • #6
            I have a friend that's been married 8 times. Everytime her and husband du-jur files for divorce her name is about 4 times longer than his (when you tack on all her previous husbands names.)
            I started referring to her as Mary X because I didn't know from day to day what her last name would be. Thankfully she's found Mr. Right instead of Mr. Rightnow.
            Bow down before me for I am ROOT

            Preserving precious bodily fluids sine 1952

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            • #7
              *wince*

              We used to have a stock clerk in the back named Morris. He had a habit of putting his name on all of his items and tools with a black Sharpie.

              He managed to spell his own first name three different ways.

              His manager used to say that he was "as dumb as a bag of rocks."

              And yes, he was fired.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #8
                Quoth Tanasi View Post
                I have a friend that's been married 8 times. Everytime her and husband du-jur files for divorce her name is about 4 times longer than his (when you tack on all her previous husbands names.)
                Now, I plan to change my name if/when I get married (well, unless he's got a really bad one...) but that's an argument for keeping your maiden name right there...
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                • #9
                  When I got married, I shifted my maiden name to a second middle name and took my husband's last name. I wasn't going in for any of that silly hyphenation business or confusing non-matching surnames.

                  When I get re-married (eventually), I'll drop the ex's name and take the new one.

                  ^-.-^
                  Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                  • #10
                    Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                    Now, I plan to change my name if/when I get married (well, unless he's got a really bad one...) but that's an argument for keeping your maiden name right there...

                    Hear Hear!

                    Seriously, who would want to have a last name such as Buttkiss, for example?

                    My last name is bad enough w/mispronunciations, I need no more headaches. If I do get married, I'm taking his last name for sure - I seriously doubt anyone can screw up a simple last name such as Jones.
                    Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                    • #11
                      When I got married, I took my husband's name because it was really simple - in the same vein as Smith, Jones and Johnson (but none of those). After the divorce, I kept using it because all my id was in that name an it was a real pain to change everything over.

                      When I got married the second time, my husband was French-Canadian and had a French surname with 13 letters in it Quite normal for Canada, but hell on wheels for any other English speaking country.

                      I had no intention of changing my name to his, even though he made a sarcastic comment about me being married to him but having another guy's name

                      Now that he and I no longer together, I'm glad I didn't change it. Good thing is, I'll never marry again and my name is here to stay.
                      Total surrender
                      Your touch is so tender
                      Your skin is like water on a burning beach
                      And it brings me relief
                      "Nails in My Feet" - Crowded House

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                      • #12
                        Wow. She wasn't too bright, was she? I mean, I have blonde moments, but...


                        I keep telling the fiance that when we get married, I'll be keeping my last name. Any children we have, though, will have his last name. He seems OK with this.
                        Unseen but seeing
                        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                        3rd shift needs love, too
                        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                        • #13
                          When I get married, I am going to change my last name, but it is only the difference of 3 letters. I'm going from Harty to Hurley, and my signature will not really have to change at all.
                          The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Andara Bledin View Post
                            When I got married, I shifted my maiden name to a second middle name and took my husband's last name. I wasn't going in for any of that silly hyphenation business or confusing non-matching surnames.
                            I tried that second middle name thing when I was married too. (Only because my fiance threw an absolute tantrum when I thought that I might keep my maiden name, and was not sufficiently mollified by the suggestion of hyphenation. *Here's Your Sign*) I ended up being with two middle names on SOME documents, but more documents were with two last names, a hyphenated last name, or a hyphenated middle name. Apparently, the idea of two middle names was beyond many organization's computer system's capacities.
                            Zee website has been *UPDATED*

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                            • #15
                              I took my husband's name when I got married, and I've kept it.... I'll probably keep it even if I remarry, because it's the last name my kids (well, one kid... we're working on the other one's name) have.
                              GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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