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Hi all, I'm new here and this is my first post here. What drove me to join this site wasn't any one big thing, but rather a constant stream of petty annoyances. As I sat down to decide which incident to complain about to the, hopefully, sympathetic audience here I realized no one incident stood out enough to stand on its own. So in lieu of mentioning a specific incident, I'm just gonna stream of Consciousness my day to day interactions with the mythical hydra-headed customer.
So I work in the circulation department of my city's library. We recently got the funds to renovate the place, which is nice because it was getting kinda old, but also means that there is gonna be construction workers going in and around the building for the foreseeable future. Management decided that it didn't want to close the library entirely so they worked out a schedule where construction happens in the morning and the library opens in the afternoon. Then in a somewhat confusing move, they decided that they didn't want to be completely closed during the hours we are traditionally open in case someone suffers some bizarre book-related emergency. So that leads back to me. My job now is mainly to sit around and tell people we are in fact closed, despite the fact the sliding doors are functioning, except for the children's room, the bathrooms, if they need to renew an item, if they need to pick up a hold, or if they need to pay a simple fine. Hey, it means I get to keep my hours when the other part-timers are trying to see if the branches need anyone helping out.
That said, due to the construction there have been some changes around the place. The traditional staff entrance is now blocked off so a system has been devised where the first people in the building use a key to enter an emergency door and then wedge it slightly open for the rest of the staff to use. Dear customers, at ten a.m. we open the main doors for the reduced services we offer. We do not, and never have opened before ten a.m. Just because you are physically able to get into the building, does not mean we have services available to offer. To repeat, when the main doors open, so do we. Yes we did "allow" you to enter, but that's just because no one's paying attention because we naively assume people wont pry open the emergency door unless they are supposed to be here.
Even that isn't enough for some people. When we actually open only the entryway is accessible. We barricade the rest of the library with some makeshift panels to show that the rest of the library is *closed*. These geniuses see that there is a small gap or opening in the panels, so naturally they are merely decorative and they may proceed. Look, I'm checking in books and doing other busywork so my managers aren't paying me to sit on my butt all day. I'm not looking at the entrance all the time. For those of you who in the five seconds I turned my back managed to circumvent our obstruction... ugh, I have no words. We have physically barricaded off part of the library. Let it percolate through the thick molasses in your skull for five seconds and you might come to realize that maybe, just possibly, we are not open.
Moving on, Clarke's Third Law states that sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. While this may seem true, if you take the time to understand what you are looking at it is often not as complicated as it seemed at first blush. Thus many of our new technologies can in fact be understood by just taking a second to overcome our fear of the unknown and looking closer. What I'm saying is, The bookdrop is not magic. You can in fact drop your books in there, and they will get checked in. Some of you legitimately dislike using them. Fair enough, we do screw up from time to time (though not as often as you claim, but that's a different rant), especially if you've checked out a gazillion children's books and you want to make sure they're all counted. That's fine, I understand that, even if you might as well not bother since you never check to make sure anyway, I've screwed up in person and only caught myself by accident and you never noticed a thing, so it doesn't really make a difference either way... But those of you who don't want to use the book return and don't want to wait in line for one of us desk peons to become free so you just dump whatever you're holding on our desk and head out. Fie, Fie on you! Learn some respect! Everyone else is waiting, all we do with your books is dump them in the return ourselves. You have just been rude to accomplish nothing! Nothing I say!
Ah, hello there. Yes madam, there is a new validation system for the parking structure across the street. We still do validate for three hours, but now instead of getting an actual stamp, you just scan the barcode on your ticket here in this machine and, Viola! You're done. Hmm? Why yes, the machine here does indeed talk to the machines in the parking structure, that is indeed how it works. You're doing quite well, I know technology can be confusing, but you seem to have a better grasp on it than most of our senior customers. What was that? That's terrifying you say. Oh you poor little lost duckling, I'm so sorry. I know that the library is one of the last redoubts against the changing times, but try as we might even we must change. Why only five years ago we got rid of the last computers still able to read floppy disks. We even stopped selling them for .25 cents a pop. Imagine that, a perfectly good medium of storing data gone, oh the complaints we got from people who now had to switch to those horrid USB drives. Still, the point remains, even we, from time to time, must change and so we cannot protect you from the world. Truly a tragedy.
Speaking of computers, we do have them. At our library we provide computers for two hours a day per customer for such things as doing homework, checking online news sites, and accessing your email. Hahahaha! I kid, I kid. We all know you're here for facebook, or whatever social media you prefer. There's even some online game sites our web blocker lets through for one reason or another. So browse facebook, check Craigslist or whatever else you might desire. There's just one thing I feel I should mention and it really seems quite obvious to me, but it has cropped up and so I feel I must address it. NO PORN. I mean come on, this is a public library for goodness sake! Why is this even an issue at all!?
Now then, let's move back to the checkout desk. You have just handed me a book. That's great! However, as we are a library I get handed a lot of books, can you perhaps clarify just a little what you want me to do with this book? Ah, checkout. Great, I can do that can I see your library card? Good and... hmmm... I'm sorry the system says this was already checked out to you weeks ago, did you perhaps wish to renew it? You're returning it, you say? Ah I see, you wish to check it in. Out and in are really such slippery concepts, don't you think? It's completely understandable that some of our non-native english speakers might get confused. You however, seem to speak it as your first language. Please try to use it correctly. It's not a major issue, it just gets under my skin.
Now you seem rather upset, what may I do for you? We've screwed up you say? We've gone and charged you a fine for returning a book late/not returning a book/running your book through a woodchipper? Yes, we are merely mortal, we do screw up from time to time. However, I don't believe this time was a mistake. It could be that your story sounds similar to the five other people who tried this today, same lack of any specifics, a claim that you "absolutely remember" turning the book in on time... three years ago... so on. The bit that really nails it for me is the fact that you've given us this story three times already. Ah yes, we do keep computer records of any time we forgive a fine, didn't realize that did you? Now we're nice people and our managers will forgive fines the first few times, but there is a limit to our patience. You've now hit it. Good day.
Ah, angry customers remind me. Look, I know that some people take steroids. It doesn't bother me all that much since I'm not an athlete and I'm not competing against you, but if you do decide to take steroids the time to take them is when you are still active in your sport. Once you stop the activity, stop taking the steroids. You sir, obviously need to hear this. Once, perhaps, you were possibly the belle of the ball at your bodybuilding club, or whatever manlier descriptor you'd prefer, but now all you are is a buttery ball of rage. Yes, we don't like helping you. Yes, we don't go the extra mile to make you happy. Know why? It's because you pick a fight with whomever thwarts your will in even the slightest of ways. We don't care that you're Italian, we don't care that you're from out of town, we don't like you because you, personally, are a testosterone filled jerk who is unpleasant to be around. Sheesh.
Hello sir, how may I help you? Ok, you want to complain. Alright, shoot. Ok, so if I understand you, you're upset because we got rid of some encyclopedias from the sixties and you needed those to aid your important research that would prove that Obama was not born in the United States which would disqualify him from being president. Oh, and you want help finding other resources for your research. *Sigh* Alright, even though its a bit late in the game for this anyway let me direct you. See those nice people over there? They're the full librarians. I only handle checkouts, you'll need to head over to them. You see sir, I have my duties over here and I am literally not paid enough to deal with your level of crazy. Go over to those who are.
*Sigh* and these are only the incidents that stand out in my memory, there are other stories only half remembered that make me want to curl up in my bed and never come out into this crazy, crazy world. Thanks for listening to me ramble, that did help a bit.
So I work in the circulation department of my city's library. We recently got the funds to renovate the place, which is nice because it was getting kinda old, but also means that there is gonna be construction workers going in and around the building for the foreseeable future. Management decided that it didn't want to close the library entirely so they worked out a schedule where construction happens in the morning and the library opens in the afternoon. Then in a somewhat confusing move, they decided that they didn't want to be completely closed during the hours we are traditionally open in case someone suffers some bizarre book-related emergency. So that leads back to me. My job now is mainly to sit around and tell people we are in fact closed, despite the fact the sliding doors are functioning, except for the children's room, the bathrooms, if they need to renew an item, if they need to pick up a hold, or if they need to pay a simple fine. Hey, it means I get to keep my hours when the other part-timers are trying to see if the branches need anyone helping out.
That said, due to the construction there have been some changes around the place. The traditional staff entrance is now blocked off so a system has been devised where the first people in the building use a key to enter an emergency door and then wedge it slightly open for the rest of the staff to use. Dear customers, at ten a.m. we open the main doors for the reduced services we offer. We do not, and never have opened before ten a.m. Just because you are physically able to get into the building, does not mean we have services available to offer. To repeat, when the main doors open, so do we. Yes we did "allow" you to enter, but that's just because no one's paying attention because we naively assume people wont pry open the emergency door unless they are supposed to be here.
Even that isn't enough for some people. When we actually open only the entryway is accessible. We barricade the rest of the library with some makeshift panels to show that the rest of the library is *closed*. These geniuses see that there is a small gap or opening in the panels, so naturally they are merely decorative and they may proceed. Look, I'm checking in books and doing other busywork so my managers aren't paying me to sit on my butt all day. I'm not looking at the entrance all the time. For those of you who in the five seconds I turned my back managed to circumvent our obstruction... ugh, I have no words. We have physically barricaded off part of the library. Let it percolate through the thick molasses in your skull for five seconds and you might come to realize that maybe, just possibly, we are not open.
Moving on, Clarke's Third Law states that sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. While this may seem true, if you take the time to understand what you are looking at it is often not as complicated as it seemed at first blush. Thus many of our new technologies can in fact be understood by just taking a second to overcome our fear of the unknown and looking closer. What I'm saying is, The bookdrop is not magic. You can in fact drop your books in there, and they will get checked in. Some of you legitimately dislike using them. Fair enough, we do screw up from time to time (though not as often as you claim, but that's a different rant), especially if you've checked out a gazillion children's books and you want to make sure they're all counted. That's fine, I understand that, even if you might as well not bother since you never check to make sure anyway, I've screwed up in person and only caught myself by accident and you never noticed a thing, so it doesn't really make a difference either way... But those of you who don't want to use the book return and don't want to wait in line for one of us desk peons to become free so you just dump whatever you're holding on our desk and head out. Fie, Fie on you! Learn some respect! Everyone else is waiting, all we do with your books is dump them in the return ourselves. You have just been rude to accomplish nothing! Nothing I say!
Ah, hello there. Yes madam, there is a new validation system for the parking structure across the street. We still do validate for three hours, but now instead of getting an actual stamp, you just scan the barcode on your ticket here in this machine and, Viola! You're done. Hmm? Why yes, the machine here does indeed talk to the machines in the parking structure, that is indeed how it works. You're doing quite well, I know technology can be confusing, but you seem to have a better grasp on it than most of our senior customers. What was that? That's terrifying you say. Oh you poor little lost duckling, I'm so sorry. I know that the library is one of the last redoubts against the changing times, but try as we might even we must change. Why only five years ago we got rid of the last computers still able to read floppy disks. We even stopped selling them for .25 cents a pop. Imagine that, a perfectly good medium of storing data gone, oh the complaints we got from people who now had to switch to those horrid USB drives. Still, the point remains, even we, from time to time, must change and so we cannot protect you from the world. Truly a tragedy.
Speaking of computers, we do have them. At our library we provide computers for two hours a day per customer for such things as doing homework, checking online news sites, and accessing your email. Hahahaha! I kid, I kid. We all know you're here for facebook, or whatever social media you prefer. There's even some online game sites our web blocker lets through for one reason or another. So browse facebook, check Craigslist or whatever else you might desire. There's just one thing I feel I should mention and it really seems quite obvious to me, but it has cropped up and so I feel I must address it. NO PORN. I mean come on, this is a public library for goodness sake! Why is this even an issue at all!?
Now then, let's move back to the checkout desk. You have just handed me a book. That's great! However, as we are a library I get handed a lot of books, can you perhaps clarify just a little what you want me to do with this book? Ah, checkout. Great, I can do that can I see your library card? Good and... hmmm... I'm sorry the system says this was already checked out to you weeks ago, did you perhaps wish to renew it? You're returning it, you say? Ah I see, you wish to check it in. Out and in are really such slippery concepts, don't you think? It's completely understandable that some of our non-native english speakers might get confused. You however, seem to speak it as your first language. Please try to use it correctly. It's not a major issue, it just gets under my skin.
Now you seem rather upset, what may I do for you? We've screwed up you say? We've gone and charged you a fine for returning a book late/not returning a book/running your book through a woodchipper? Yes, we are merely mortal, we do screw up from time to time. However, I don't believe this time was a mistake. It could be that your story sounds similar to the five other people who tried this today, same lack of any specifics, a claim that you "absolutely remember" turning the book in on time... three years ago... so on. The bit that really nails it for me is the fact that you've given us this story three times already. Ah yes, we do keep computer records of any time we forgive a fine, didn't realize that did you? Now we're nice people and our managers will forgive fines the first few times, but there is a limit to our patience. You've now hit it. Good day.
Ah, angry customers remind me. Look, I know that some people take steroids. It doesn't bother me all that much since I'm not an athlete and I'm not competing against you, but if you do decide to take steroids the time to take them is when you are still active in your sport. Once you stop the activity, stop taking the steroids. You sir, obviously need to hear this. Once, perhaps, you were possibly the belle of the ball at your bodybuilding club, or whatever manlier descriptor you'd prefer, but now all you are is a buttery ball of rage. Yes, we don't like helping you. Yes, we don't go the extra mile to make you happy. Know why? It's because you pick a fight with whomever thwarts your will in even the slightest of ways. We don't care that you're Italian, we don't care that you're from out of town, we don't like you because you, personally, are a testosterone filled jerk who is unpleasant to be around. Sheesh.
Hello sir, how may I help you? Ok, you want to complain. Alright, shoot. Ok, so if I understand you, you're upset because we got rid of some encyclopedias from the sixties and you needed those to aid your important research that would prove that Obama was not born in the United States which would disqualify him from being president. Oh, and you want help finding other resources for your research. *Sigh* Alright, even though its a bit late in the game for this anyway let me direct you. See those nice people over there? They're the full librarians. I only handle checkouts, you'll need to head over to them. You see sir, I have my duties over here and I am literally not paid enough to deal with your level of crazy. Go over to those who are.
*Sigh* and these are only the incidents that stand out in my memory, there are other stories only half remembered that make me want to curl up in my bed and never come out into this crazy, crazy world. Thanks for listening to me ramble, that did help a bit.
It usually consists of me hyperventilating over a new release. 
to 
Pagrek, we look forward to more of your stories!
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