SC translation

[ArenaBoy]

SC: I know the owner, I've got connections buddy!!

Translation: I know a guy who is just a lowly office worker who has only said hi to the owner.

SC: I pay $200 just to park here so you better let me through.

Translation: I am out here with some buddies and just because we paid a lot of money we're kings.

SC: I left my pass at home.

Translation: I don't have a pass so I'm trying to get in anyway.

[ladodger34]

SC: I know the owner, I've got connections buddy!!

Translation: I know a guy who is just a lowly office worker who has only said hi to the owner.

Screw that.. in my experience, the "I know the owner, manager, boss, department director, etc" means that the SC knows the name of the person in charge.

In my case, the "I know the blah, blah" usually happened because someone saw him on the local cable channel talking about our department.

[Kiwi]

SC: I know ALL about art, this is a modern work, you know the modern art movement
Translation: I once saw something on the discovery channel as I was flipping through and I saw something that looked nothing like this and somehow rememberd ONE slang word... despite the fact im pronouncing it mod-run instead of mod-urn

[South Texan]

SC: I got this DVD yesterday as a gift and it did not play right. I want the money back.

Translation: I bought this used several months ago on eBay for three bucks. There really is nothing wrong with the disk; but since it is opened, I need to claim something is wrong to try to get cash for it from your store. I am hoping you are stupid enough to give me the full retail price for it.

[air914]

(I worked in a network marketing office (sort of like Mary kay or Avon) and some of the people we ran into were the dumbest people on earth. Note to All: READ a Contract before you sign it!) Some of their sorry excuses / complaints were:

SC: No one told me that!

Translation: I'm too stupid to read a contract before I sign it so I didn't look at anything about policies/returns/cancellations.

SC: I told someone I didn't want that anymore!!

Translation: Even though I signed something stating that I wanted to receive this product on a monthly basis and even though I signed my signature underneath a statement that said I had to write a letter to the office to cancel my re-occuring order, b/c I told "someone" I didn't want it - you shouldn't have sent it to me and you shouldn't have charged me for it. And I'm too lazy to call the office or look it up on the company website or read my manual to find information about canceling re-occuring orders.

SC: I should be able to return something whenever I want!

Translation: I'm still too stupid to read the contract that says I have 90 days within which to return this stuff and I'm too stupid to realize that if I can't sell it within a 3 month period, that I probably shouldn't be in a sales/ marketing business anyway and it's been stored in my basement since I bought it since I havent' really tried selling it and b/c it's only a year later and half the products and or their warranties are expired - well I should still be able to return it and get my full money back (plus shipping & handling & tax & everything else).

[Mr.Bill]

SC: But I called an hour ago to make sure!

Translation: My lazy ass didn't make it down in enough time, and now I want whatever it is that I need.

[66biscuits]

How about the SCs own interpretation of what you've said to them.

ME: I'm sorry Sir, You have arrived too late to check-in for that flight and have missed it.

SC hears: I just can't be bothered to check you in even though the scheduled flight departure time is in only a couple of minutes which is plenty of time. Our airline routinely "does this" to people and it's my fault you couldn't get to the airport on time. I'm doing this specifically to piss you off, please commence shouting at me.

[Sofar]

"She did not answer my question to my satisfaction."

Translation: "She said no."

[Myra]

SC says: "I do not know how the moisture indicators turned red. That phone has NEVER been near water EVER."
Translation: Except for how last night I got drunk and dropped it in my margarita.

SC says: "But I pay for the service plan EVERY MONTH. Your computer is WRONG. I have the plan, and I REFUSE to pay for this repair!"
Translation: I removed it months ago thinking I'd never need it and now that I do, I figure I can throw a fit and get my way.

SC says: "But that other store SAID you would give me a new phone! Now you're telling me you have to repair the simple problem? That's not good business!"
Translation: If I scream loud enough, I'll get my way. Hey, it worked when I was five at the toy store with my mommy.

SC says: "I've NEVER dropped that phone! What do you mean there's dented sheilds?!?"
Translation: I bounced it off a three story building to the concrete sidewalk below. Once again, cue tantrum.

SC says: "I have NEVER paid an activation fee in my life!"
Translation: Yes I have. Once again, tantrum.

SC says: "Why is this phone suddenly $200? I paid $50 for it when I signed up! Just because I don't want to sign a contract to get it doesn't mean you can do this. Give me a deal!"
Translation: I'm a cheap bastard.