The things guests want from us, free of charge of course, never ceases to amaze me. Here's a compiled list from both hotels I've worked at, in what I assume is their internal monologue.
A ride from an area not served by our shuttle. Oh you only go to hospitals, let me start CRYING on the phone about how much public transit costs and how we have to get to my daughter's college interview. Oh, thanks, you're giving us a ride because you feel sorry for us and assume we're trying to get her into college on a tight travel budget. And oh, look, when you pick us up, I have shopping bags full of unnecessary trinkets.
A humidifier. And it It MUST be set up and running when they get there. Cool mist only, no hot ones. No I'm not going to pay for it.
Breakfast in lunch bags put together for us because we have to leave before the hotel starts serving breakfast. It's not my fault I booked a red-eye flight, I'm still entitled to free food and I will have the free food even if I make you do extra work.
A fan. Use room AC? Are you nuts?
An electric tea kettle. No I can't use the coffee maker to make hot water for tea. Don't ask me why, I'm a cubic zircon member and that means I can make you buy me stuff.
Rides outside of scheduled shuttle hours. What do you MEAN i have to PAY for my own transportation?!.
A banana. Right nao. No, not that one, I want a green one. Oh how about some juice too? (Kitchen is closed asshole).
Milk for my kid. No I'm not buying one of the bottles from the shop, go in the kitchen and get me a free cup of it. No I don't care that you'll get screamed at if you aren't at the desk for 10 seconds.
Fresh baked cookies. At 10:45pm. When you have to leave at 11pm to get your bus. No, packaged cookies, free, from the hotel's store aren't good enough, we want the fresh ones. Now abandon your post and go bake them, slave.
A ride from an area not served by our shuttle. Oh you only go to hospitals, let me start CRYING on the phone about how much public transit costs and how we have to get to my daughter's college interview. Oh, thanks, you're giving us a ride because you feel sorry for us and assume we're trying to get her into college on a tight travel budget. And oh, look, when you pick us up, I have shopping bags full of unnecessary trinkets.
A humidifier. And it It MUST be set up and running when they get there. Cool mist only, no hot ones. No I'm not going to pay for it.
Breakfast in lunch bags put together for us because we have to leave before the hotel starts serving breakfast. It's not my fault I booked a red-eye flight, I'm still entitled to free food and I will have the free food even if I make you do extra work.
A fan. Use room AC? Are you nuts?
An electric tea kettle. No I can't use the coffee maker to make hot water for tea. Don't ask me why, I'm a cubic zircon member and that means I can make you buy me stuff.
Rides outside of scheduled shuttle hours. What do you MEAN i have to PAY for my own transportation?!.
A banana. Right nao. No, not that one, I want a green one. Oh how about some juice too? (Kitchen is closed asshole).
Milk for my kid. No I'm not buying one of the bottles from the shop, go in the kitchen and get me a free cup of it. No I don't care that you'll get screamed at if you aren't at the desk for 10 seconds.
Fresh baked cookies. At 10:45pm. When you have to leave at 11pm to get your bus. No, packaged cookies, free, from the hotel's store aren't good enough, we want the fresh ones. Now abandon your post and go bake them, slave.
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