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Oh how it pays ...

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  • Oh how it pays ...

    I'm not sure if this is the right forum so mods feel free to put it in the right place.

    I came to customers suck because of my own experiences in the service industry and because I love reading personal stories. I never thought customers suck would change my life.

    As I said I worked for a long time in a lot of different service industries so I deeply empathize with the majority of these stories. I also teach sociology and psychology, which means every semester I spend a good long time preaching on the fundamental attribution error. In case you haven't heard, the fundamental attribution error is the idea that because we do not know the real motivations of a strangers actions we tend to attribute any negative behavior (slow food service, a tense tone, lack of assistance) as an indicator of the persons fundamental personality, ie "the waitress didn't refill the drinks therefore she must be a lazy person", not "the restaurant might be ubber busy and she's doing her best."

    Anyway enough of the Prof tone. My point is that I have always been pretty decent when interacting with service staff, I'm a please and thank you, 20% tipper all the way. But I admit I've been snarky and even used the stern teacher tone a few times. Then I came here, in the past three months I have consciously monitored my behavior, and have worked to be intentionally kind. In the past three months I have also received for free (with absolutely no request on my part) three orders of fries, a movie ticket, 300 copies from Kinko's, a flight upgrade, extra cat food, desserts at an expensive restaurant, two large bottles of carpet shampoo, one jasmine plant, two tomato plants, a history book of Zen, one strand of Christmas lights and a whole package of high quality linen resume paper. All of this from business who aren't normally known for their generosity.

    As I said I never asked for these things, nor did anyone of them pop into my head as something I might receive. I also don't think I have been inconvenienced any more then usual, so it isn't like I've had a particular string of bad luck and Karma was helping me out.

    I think it's because when you are genuinely nice, when you assume that most people are decent and its generally the situation that sucks, those around you are almost relieved, and that relief can open some amazing doors. Of course some people are just sucky, and some people are having such a bad go of it they can't return the kindness, but really, who cares? The only one you have to answer to is you, and the stuff I've received, its just the icing, the real cake is not feeling paranoid, aggressive, stressed or upset about my interactions at the consumer level.

    Too bad more people can't figure that out, but then where would great forums like this go?

    Thanks for letting me glow. Keep up the great rants!

  • #2
    Thank God for the fundamental attribution error.
    Because if it didn't exist, this site wouldn't either, and I'd have nothing to read while I'm jammin' to my tunes.
    "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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    • #3
      Quoth platypus View Post
      In case you haven't heard, the fundamental attribution error is the idea that because we do not know the real motivations of a strangers actions we tend to attribute any negative behavior (slow food service, a tense tone, lack of assistance) as an indicator of the persons fundamental personality, ie "the waitress didn't refill the drinks therefore she must be a lazy person", not "the restaurant might be ubber busy and she's doing her best."
      Heh. One of my favorite authors, Lois McMaster Bujold has her own take on it:

      Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by incompetence.

      It would be really interesting to do a well-planned long-term study on the different results people achieve through the use of honey versus vinegar.

      ^-.-^
      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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      • #4
        Off topic, but I'm curious...

        What do you call it when, instead of attributing negative behaviour to someone else, you attribute it to yourself? Like, if someone were to get bad service in a restaurant, they don't say to themselves "The waitress is lazy" or even, "The waitress is just busy" but instead says "The waitress doesn't like me, I've offended her in some way?"
        Is that just called poor self-esteem, or is there a more technical term for it?

        If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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        • #5
          Personally I'd say low self-esteem sourced paranoia, but I'm not an expert, I'm just a paranoid person with low self esteem
          I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

          "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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          • #6
            Quoth Boozy View Post
            Off topic, but I'm curious...

            What do you call it when, instead of attributing negative behaviour to someone else, you attribute it to yourself? Like, if someone were to get bad service in a restaurant, they don't say to themselves "The waitress is lazy" or even, "The waitress is just busy" but instead says "The waitress doesn't like me, I've offended her in some way?"
            Is that just called poor self-esteem, or is there a more technical term for it?
            i've only taken one course in psychology, but that sounds almost like the descriptions of social phobia, but IANACP so grains of salt must be taken
            DILLIGAF

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            • #7
              Quoth Boozy View Post
              Off topic, but I'm curious...

              What do you call it when, instead of attributing negative behaviour to someone else, you attribute it to yourself? Like, if someone were to get bad service in a restaurant, they don't say to themselves "The waitress is lazy" or even, "The waitress is just busy" but instead says "The waitress doesn't like me, I've offended her in some way?"
              Is that just called poor self-esteem, or is there a more technical term for it?
              If memory serves correctly (Social Psych was a few years ago), that's also type of an attribution error, because you're incorrectly attributing your behavior to something about yourself, rather than something about her.
              Last edited by thegiraffe; 05-19-2007, 11:59 AM.
              Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

              Proverbs 22:6

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              • #8
                I think it's projection you're talking about - attributing character traits to others that you, yourself, possess.

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                • #9
                  I am always nice and polite to anyone that helps me. TTO lets me do the ordering when we go out because I do it in such a nice way - we get really good service
                  I don't really get freebies, but I wouldn't want them - it's just nice to see a geniune smile on someone's face!
                  The report button - not just for decoration

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