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I would like to share with you all a little story from my call center days of a lady I got a call from who's last name was Manson. I'll keep the first name to myself to protect the not-so-innocent. 
A bit of background info - the company I was working for at the time was a fairly well known computer company, that at the time of this call had retail stores they called "Country Stores" where folks could buy pre-built computers, or bring their computers in for service. The reps at these stores very rarely accepted delivery of a computer that was ordered via the 800#, in fact, until this call, I was under the impression that they refused to do so.
Enter Ms. Manson . . . M=Ms. Manson, P=Me, Phoenix!
P: Thank you for calling XXXXX computers, this is Phoenix, how may I help you?
M: You people are trying to screw me over, and you are going to fix this now! What is your last name, and don't tell me you can't give it to me.
P: I'm sorry to hear you are having trouble, Miss. My name is Phoenix, and my badge number is 12345. For security reasons, I cannot give out my last name.
M: That's bullshit, you're a liar. You listen to me right now, missy, you will help me, and you will resolve this situation, or I will have your job!
P: Ma'am, I'm here to help you. I will do whatever I can to help resolve your problem, there is no need to threaten me. Please try to keep this professional.
M: As long as you solve this problem, I'll have no reason to get you fired, will I?
P: Please, tell me what has happened. Could I get your customer ID number or order number so that I may better assist you?
M: I know you can look it up with my phone number, its 111-111-1111. Look up my account yourself, I don't have time to find my paperwork. The country store just delivered my computer, and when they got here, it was obvious they had opened all of my boxes. I think they took something, and I want a new order shipped to me immediatley, and I want you to have someone come pick up this mess RIGHT NOW!.
P: Wow, ma'am, I'm surprised the country store delivered your computer. Usually they won't sign for shipments, and we ship the PC via UPS directly to your home. Maybe they opened the boxes to make sure you received everything before they brought it to you? Have you set up the computer to see if it is working properly? Did you check your packing slip to see if you received everything?
M: Are you trying to call me a liar? I already told you the boxed had been opened when I received them. I'm not setting up a computer that's been tampered with, and I don't care if everything is there or not. These people invaded my privacy, and I want a new computer. Are you going to do what is right for the customer? I'm the person that pays for your paycheck, you had better get me a new computer now!
P: We usually don't send out another computer unless you have problems with the PC when you set it up. If you haven't even set up the computer, I'm afraid I may not be able to get you another. I could send one of our technicians and have them set up the computer for you, if you would like. This is usually a $200 fee, but I can . . .
M: WHHHAAAAT?!?! You aren't doing what I'm telling you to do, and now you want to charge me to have someone set up my computer? I'm not stupid, I know how to set up a computer, and I also know when I'm being screwed around. Those country store people opened my computer. Who knows what they did to it? I don't even want to find out, send me a new computer and come pick this crap up, or I'll just return the entire order! I'm the customer, you will do what I tell you to do!
P: (We were told to do anything we have to to save a sale . . . so) Okay, Ma'am. I'll place an order for another computer for you, and send UPS out there to pick up your first shipment. I'm very sorry you feel you have been wronged, but I'm sure the store, if they did open your packages, was just trying to make sure it was all there before they brought it to you.
M: You have been absolutley no help at all. You are a liar, and I hope someone is listening to this call because you have provided me the worst service I've ever had!!
P: Ma'am, I'm a bit confused. You insisted that I replace your computer, without you even opening the first one to see if it works, and also insisted that I send someone out to pick up the first package. I've done both, what else is there that I can do for you at this point to resolve this issue?
M: I want compensation for having to wait for another computer. I am the customer, you will do as I say, or I will have your job!
P: Ma'am, I can't do that. The computer arrived on time, and as far as we know there weren't any problems with the computer. I'm afraid at this point all I can do is replace the computer, and send someone out to pick up your first one. I'm very sorry this has happened.
M: This has been the worst service I've ever had from anyone. You didn't do anything I asked you to. What is the address for your corporate office, I'm writing them a letter and turning you in!
P: That address is XXXXXXX, and again my name is Phoenix, and my badge number is 12345. The order number for your new computer is xxxxxxx, the estimated delivery date is x/x/xx and UPS should be at your home to pick up the old machine in a few days. Is there anything else I can help you with?
M: NO! Enjoy your job while it lasts, you are a terrible customer service person! <click>
I've never been so happy to have someone hang up on me . . .
She did write in a letter, by the way. And instead of backing me up, corporate gave her a $300 refund on a $1500 system, all for the "horrible service" she received. To top things off, when she got the new computer, she returned it for a refund anyway. I'm so glad I don't work there anymore . . .
Phoenix
A bit of background info - the company I was working for at the time was a fairly well known computer company, that at the time of this call had retail stores they called "Country Stores" where folks could buy pre-built computers, or bring their computers in for service. The reps at these stores very rarely accepted delivery of a computer that was ordered via the 800#, in fact, until this call, I was under the impression that they refused to do so.
Enter Ms. Manson . . . M=Ms. Manson, P=Me, Phoenix!
P: Thank you for calling XXXXX computers, this is Phoenix, how may I help you?
M: You people are trying to screw me over, and you are going to fix this now! What is your last name, and don't tell me you can't give it to me.
P: I'm sorry to hear you are having trouble, Miss. My name is Phoenix, and my badge number is 12345. For security reasons, I cannot give out my last name.
M: That's bullshit, you're a liar. You listen to me right now, missy, you will help me, and you will resolve this situation, or I will have your job!
P: Ma'am, I'm here to help you. I will do whatever I can to help resolve your problem, there is no need to threaten me. Please try to keep this professional.
M: As long as you solve this problem, I'll have no reason to get you fired, will I?
P: Please, tell me what has happened. Could I get your customer ID number or order number so that I may better assist you?
M: I know you can look it up with my phone number, its 111-111-1111. Look up my account yourself, I don't have time to find my paperwork. The country store just delivered my computer, and when they got here, it was obvious they had opened all of my boxes. I think they took something, and I want a new order shipped to me immediatley, and I want you to have someone come pick up this mess RIGHT NOW!.
P: Wow, ma'am, I'm surprised the country store delivered your computer. Usually they won't sign for shipments, and we ship the PC via UPS directly to your home. Maybe they opened the boxes to make sure you received everything before they brought it to you? Have you set up the computer to see if it is working properly? Did you check your packing slip to see if you received everything?
M: Are you trying to call me a liar? I already told you the boxed had been opened when I received them. I'm not setting up a computer that's been tampered with, and I don't care if everything is there or not. These people invaded my privacy, and I want a new computer. Are you going to do what is right for the customer? I'm the person that pays for your paycheck, you had better get me a new computer now!
P: We usually don't send out another computer unless you have problems with the PC when you set it up. If you haven't even set up the computer, I'm afraid I may not be able to get you another. I could send one of our technicians and have them set up the computer for you, if you would like. This is usually a $200 fee, but I can . . .
M: WHHHAAAAT?!?! You aren't doing what I'm telling you to do, and now you want to charge me to have someone set up my computer? I'm not stupid, I know how to set up a computer, and I also know when I'm being screwed around. Those country store people opened my computer. Who knows what they did to it? I don't even want to find out, send me a new computer and come pick this crap up, or I'll just return the entire order! I'm the customer, you will do what I tell you to do!
P: (We were told to do anything we have to to save a sale . . . so) Okay, Ma'am. I'll place an order for another computer for you, and send UPS out there to pick up your first shipment. I'm very sorry you feel you have been wronged, but I'm sure the store, if they did open your packages, was just trying to make sure it was all there before they brought it to you.
M: You have been absolutley no help at all. You are a liar, and I hope someone is listening to this call because you have provided me the worst service I've ever had!!
P: Ma'am, I'm a bit confused. You insisted that I replace your computer, without you even opening the first one to see if it works, and also insisted that I send someone out to pick up the first package. I've done both, what else is there that I can do for you at this point to resolve this issue?
M: I want compensation for having to wait for another computer. I am the customer, you will do as I say, or I will have your job!
P: Ma'am, I can't do that. The computer arrived on time, and as far as we know there weren't any problems with the computer. I'm afraid at this point all I can do is replace the computer, and send someone out to pick up your first one. I'm very sorry this has happened.
M: This has been the worst service I've ever had from anyone. You didn't do anything I asked you to. What is the address for your corporate office, I'm writing them a letter and turning you in!
P: That address is XXXXXXX, and again my name is Phoenix, and my badge number is 12345. The order number for your new computer is xxxxxxx, the estimated delivery date is x/x/xx and UPS should be at your home to pick up the old machine in a few days. Is there anything else I can help you with?
M: NO! Enjoy your job while it lasts, you are a terrible customer service person! <click>
I've never been so happy to have someone hang up on me . . .
She did write in a letter, by the way. And instead of backing me up, corporate gave her a $300 refund on a $1500 system, all for the "horrible service" she received. To top things off, when she got the new computer, she returned it for a refund anyway. I'm so glad I don't work there anymore . . .
Phoenix
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