I guess I'll jujst kill myself then

[ladyjaneinmd]

"I'll just go kill myself" ...you know, it might be a better idea to take them WAY too seriously. Going entirely by the rules (varies by area, of course) a nice 72-hour psychiatric hold could be on order here.
Yes, it's more work than this inDUHvidual deserves, but I guarantee she won't try THAT one on you again.

That's actually not a bad idea. How many suicides have happened because people ignored the signs? This is clearly a SIGN. Call the authorities and let them deal with it.

Yeah yeah, I know it'll never happen, but still.....I love the way you think.

[SimonF12009]

Translation: “See you next week!”

She was actually in 2 days later

[Kittish]

So I'll start right off the bat by admitting that I am a horrible person.

I'd have been so, so, so very tempted to offer her a few ideas on effective ways to kill herself, ending with a cheery, "Good luck!" when she started screaming at me.

I gotta admit though, I also like the idea of taking her entirely seriously and calling the cops on her and putting her through the involuntary psychological hold.