Sexual Harassment

[Gabrielle Proctor]

I was inspired by the "ew ew ew" thread. Here are some of the incidents at my store.

I work in a hobbyshop. We sell merchandise that is mainly geared towards older men. I am the only girl working here.

I have had men jokingly flirt with me, ask me who I'm dating, call into the store and ask for the "girl with the big boobs", stare at my big boobs, and even touch my soft under arm area. But the redneck takes the cake.

We have a customer that I will refer to as the "redneck", R for short.

The first incident went as follows:

R:are you dating anyone?
Me: Yeah, Kevin (Kevin is the RC specialist at our store and my BF)
R: You and Kevin? Really?
Me: Yeah really. Who were you trying to set me up with.
R: Naw. I can't tell you, Kevin will be mad a t me.
Me: So, it was...you...
R: Yeah...
Me: ....okaaaaaayyy...have a nice day

The second incident:

R: You should wear something sexy to work.
Me: Um, my uniform is about the sexiest thing you'll see on me, R.
R: It needs to be more provocative. Let me take an exacto to it and let you wear a push up bra and have 4 inches of clevage hangin' out!
Me: ... Um...have a nice day


I don't know what to do here because R spends a CRAPLOAD of money at our store. Swordsman422(another user who works with me) told Kevin to do something about it, and I kinda wish he would. I dunno, I guess I'll have to inform the owner and tell R to fuck off I'm not interested and he makes me uncomfortable.

[mariamousie1]

It doesn't matter how much money he spends at your store. That behavior should not be tolerated. Hope you work it out.

[wagegoth]

At least here in California, if an employee is being harassed by a customer and the manager or owner does nothing to stop it, then the company can be sued for the harassment. The regular rules apply.

One day I was so grossed out. I was covering reception while the receptionist, MM, was at lunch. She came back a little early and was leaning over the counter to chat a bit. One of our vendors came in. The regular guy was really nice and we liked him, but his supervisor had come along that day, and after these events I wanted to shove him down the elevator shaft.

MM was beautiful, seriously, like Nefertiti's bust beautiful, and had a figure I would kill for, not porn star, more like curvy slim. [I am so jealous. Back to the story.] The supervisor stands there, checking out her shape, practically drooling, completely looking her up and down and the look on his face was just gross. The salesman was embarrassed, MM is creeped out, and I'm getting pissed. I told MM to go back on her break, just so she could leave.

We reported it to HR, and they called the vendor and told them that the supervisor was no longer welcome in our office. His behavior was just so blatant and over the top it was crazy.

[karma_gypsy]

Yes, I agree with the previous posts. That customer was completely over the line. He ran over that line, jumped in a car, took a train to the airport, flew across the ocean and kept going. He suggested what clothes you should wear and he was very clear that he was talking about your chest (instead of making subtle comments).

Every time 'R' comes into the store, couldn't you just get a male co-worker to help him? Although, I guess that would pretty difficult if you work in a small store . . .

[auntiem]

He offered to take an EXACTO to your uniform - Hell no! No way should you ever have to interact with him again. Tell your manager. They will have to tell him that he is no longer allowed in the store during your shifts. Period. If they give you a hard time or cut your shifts or anything else you can and should press charges.

[bigjimaz]

I've never been sexually harassed at work or anywhere else for that matter, but then again I'm a tall, fat, ugly guy and not a beautiful, well-endowed woman. I wouldn't mind getting a feeling of what it is like but I would never consider doing it to someone else. This guy needs to be put in his place by management no matter how much he spends at the store. If it's done right they won't lose any future revenue either. Tell your boss. If he won't do anything tell HIS boss. If that doesn't work, tell their wives.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

The second incident:

R: You should wear something sexy to work.
Me: Um, my uniform is about the sexiest thing you'll see on me, R.
R: It needs to be more provocative. Let me take an exacto to it and let you wear a push up bra and have 4 inches of clevage hangin' out!
Me: ... Um...have a nice day


I don't know what to do here because R spends a CRAPLOAD of money at our store.

How much money would I have to spend to cop a feel then?

Definitely tell management what R is doing and if they refuse to do anything then start looking for a new job. Customers like him are not worth retaining even though they spend so much money, but the problem is you have managers and corporate lackeys who are incapable of thinking of anything beyond the bottom line.

[uknz76]

My Fake Girlfriends

A few years ago, I was working in a Cruis Ship Casino where we all worked for tips. Because all the staff were desperate for money (who isn't) we would put up with a lot of crap from anyone who was tipping. We had a standing policy that if any of the girls felt uncomfortable with suggestive comments they could be taken off thier table or ask the player to talk to thier boyfriend.
As I am quite a big guy, I was the nominated boyfriend.
Always.
Every day.
This usually worked pretty well, the jerk (player) would look at me and shut up.
The only time it didn't work was one night when a guy was so sleazy he had hit on 8 or 9 girls. All told him that I was their significant other. Eventually he worked out that some of them must be lying. Instead of leaving he came to me to ask who I was seeing, so he could "have a go" (his words) at the others.
Instead of punching him (my first thought), I looked him up and down and said "Actually I'm gay. What room are you in?" The guy freaked and left. I've never seen him since.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"How much money would I have to spend to cop a feel then?"

I was gonna ask the same thing. NO amount of money is enough for him to come in and treat you as if he thinks you are a hooker.

What kind of boss allows his female employees to be subject to a weirdo who suggests he'd like to cut your clothes off with a razor? I mean, other than a pimp who hires his girls out for weird fetishes?

Yeah. Not cool. Make your boss fix this.

[Andara Bledin]

Eventually he worked out that some of them must be lying. Instead of leaving he came to me to ask who I was seeing, so he could "have a go" (his words) at the others.
Instead of punching him (my first thought), I looked him up and down and said "Actually I'm gay. What room are you in?" The guy freaked and left. I've never seen him since.

Cruise Ship Ticket: $1500
Nice Wardrobe for Evenings: $300
Watching the Sleeze get Owned: Priceless

^-.-^

[Amethyst Hunter]

A guy like that, I'd like to take an exacto to his face.
Scum don't deserve to be tolerated, much less catered to, patrons or not.

[iradney]

Here in SA, the company can get taken to court and get financially flayed, drawn and quartered for allowing an employee to get sexually harrassed. That is, of course, only if the problem was report and nothing was done about it. I have yet to complain about sexual harrassment tho.
Honestly, I would tell that guy to back off. You're a sales person. If he's not going to talk to you about the product, the store or the prices, then you're under no obligation to be polite to him. Especially since he's making VERY unwelcome personal remarks. I would report him to your boss ASAP, since some creeps don't know what boundaries are, and this guy might end up stalking you.

[blas]

My God, I've been the victim of enough sexual harrassment to be a millionaire by now had I taken legal action and sued people....but then again, I'm going to say it's about the principle of the matter, and just seeing the gutter slime get taken down and fired/banned. Good enough for me.

From being labeled "tigbitties" in high school, to having truckers and other middle aged sleazeballs try and cop a feel at the honky tonk restaurant, to having construction workers and other sweaty dirty men leer at me day in and out at the gas station and dirty old men begging for my number and asking me to unbutton my polo shirt, to now at the factory having maintenance men asking me if my breasts are real....rrrrrr....

Thursday night at work, I gashed my finger on a layer of copper. My glove immediately filled up with blood and my supervisor saw and told me to go take care of that ASAP. I ran to the first aid kit in the meeting room and was soaking the cut in peroxide and getting ready to apply a bandaid when another skeeze of a maintenance man walked in (to fix a machine in the production area). This guy works weekends and one day a week. He is old, fat, smelly and hairy and all over disgusting. He will harass ANYTHING with two breasts and a vagina, no matter what size breasts and no matter what the girl looks like.

"Honey can I kiss that and make it better?" he asks me.

I nearly wanted to slap him with my bloody hand.

Then a few minutes later after I retured to my microscope, he walks up to me, I could feel his fat belly next to my left hip, and he goes "So do you like your job?" I could smell his rotten cigar breath.

I said "Do you like yours? Cause you're gonna lose it if you come near me one more time!"

Honestly, first it was the almost 40 year old perv, and now this assbag. Why can't they just be professional and leave me alone.

And where the hell had my supervisor gone? I wish he could have seen that.

[GayleShy]

When I was working at the hotel my grandparents managed I was told to never go to this place, that place or the other place, because "the college boys would rape me". I never had any trouble with the college men, the ones I spent any time with were very mature and honorable. There was, however, one dirty old man who was bitching at my grandparents about how there was nothing to do in that little college town, then he put his arm around me (right in front of my grandparents, who were SOOOO worried about me being raped by college boys ) and ask if I wanted to go to his room and make some fun of our own. My grandparents said absolutely nothing about that. In fact, they just sat there smiling as if he'd said something very funny. I was sickened and pissed off that they didn't find that at all disgusting.

I'd have to say that the worst thing that happened to me at Wal-Mart, that I can remember, was this one middle aged customer. He'd been watching me for quite some time, I could tell. Every time I'd walk by him, he'd grin at me in a nasty way. Well, one day he got bold enough to say something to me. I'd started to really work on my weight, and I was finally losing some of it. I have a disorder that makes it quite hard for me to lose weight, and I was very happy about it. I am also blessed/cursed with a very large chest. This is important later.

This man went through my line and was making the normal small talk with me. There was another cashier standing next to me and he'd never said anything before, so I felt safe enough. Then he told me that he'd noticed that I'd been losing weight and he wanted to tell me, as a customer, that he was happy for me, or something like that. I sort of blushed and said thank you. Then he waited for the other cashier to go back to her register, which was only a few feet away, and he dropped his voice so that only I could hear him. He said "I'm just glad to see that you aren't losing it in the places that really matter, you know." And looked right at my chest. I don't even remember what I said back to him, I was that embarrassed. The cashier said I turned every shade of red as he walked away, and asked me what happened. After I told her, she said that she wished he would have said that in front of her, she would have taken care of him.

[zzapp the witch]

OP, I can tell you exactly how to handle this, because I work around rednecks that look at my big boobs. You said he's a good customer, he knows who you're with, but he just won't quit.

K, all the guys at the welding supply, scrapyard, hardware store, etc. KNOW that I'm in a relationship (they don't know about the breakup yet), but they still make flirty comments and peek at the goods (or, as in the case of some of my fellow customers, hit on me, hard).

Laugh it off. I tell all the guys that look that I saw them look, they ain't seein anymore, but I'm glad that my boobs made their day. Then roll your eyes, shake your head, and mutter under-the-breath comments about the hopeless perversions of men. This turns it into a friendly joke. As I've said in another thread, women have boobs, men like boobs, men are going to look at/for boobs. Fact of life, you just have to learn how to coach men (even the grossest ones) to come within your parameters of acceptable behavior. It can be done, men are very trainable (except when it comes to toilet seats).

Be honest. Look him in the eye when you're doing it. Take him aside, and speak in a very quiet (SOFT) voice, think extremely feminine, without being sultry, more on the shy violet side. Tell him, "Look, R, you're a great guy, and I'm sure that one day you'll find a great girl, I'm even keeping an eye out for one for you." (Say that even if you're not). "And R, I know I have nice boobs, and I know you like my boobs, but these boobs are not your boobs, they're Kevin's boobs, and Kevin is pretty selfish when it comes to his boobs. It embarrasses the hell out of me when you call attention to my cleavage, could you quiet down about it, and I'll ignore that I catch you staring when you shouldn't be? Please, its getting to the point that I'm to the point of embarrassment when I see you enter the store, I just wanted to bring this up to you now so that my boobs don't come between us as people."

Ok, that last one is a bit corny, but you see where I'm going, call em on it, but don't be accusatory. Give them an excuse, an out, a safezone, then shake hands or hug (hugging is better, its a compliment in the "OMG, she hugged me!" kind of way) and still be friends, and you'll come across as a good woman and not a bitch and you'll still get your way. Best of all, you won't scare him, and he will become protective, which is great in and of itself, a person can't have too many allies.

I've been known to call guys on the carpet in front of the whole store. Once in the welding shop (it was a very flattering shirt) an older gentleman was just gaaahhh over my bosom. I said very loudly over the store, "Good God, Cary (asst mngr), are you rubbing off on your customers? Every time I come in here, no one will look me in the eye!" All the guys laugh, tease Cary, and start looking me in the eye (but only when they think I might catch them looking elsewhere).

Always do it in good humor, you know, attracting more flys with honey and all that. Always be understanding and gentle, always offer an excuse for them to hide behind (being a pervert ), and flatter with your friendly (but professional) attention. Do it right, and you'll have this guy telling other guys to leave you the hell alone. Trust me.

Last time at the scrapyard (I'm the ONLY woman that goes there) had a guy with no teeth let me know how hot I was and all the things he could do to me. Little Cowboy, one of the workers there says, "She's got a bf, dude." He's still trying, making cruder comments. I just smile, say, "Thanks, hon, but I'm happy with what I've got right now, so I'm gonna have to say no." "Awww, c'mon honey, you don't know what yer missin." I swear to God if about 6 of the workers there that were coming out of the breakroom didn't all chorus, "No means no." while shaking their fingers at him and laughing. And life is good. Saw Toothless at a later date in the store, and he was a perfect and friendly gentleman. Guy with him (also in a state of dental disrepair) said, "Wow man, you know her?" "Oh yeah, she's a great gal, I see her at the scrapyard all the time." (He'd only seen me the once, that I know of). "Think I should ask her out?" "Naw, she's got a boyfriend she's happy with, you wouldn't want to screw that up for her."

Even if this guy is viewing you as some sort of conquest, if you take away the boob factor, and become his friend, everybody wins, and no one's "conquered."

Now I skipped all the in between posts, and I have to go back and read them. LOL