I should get this expensive item for free because...

[journochick]

Yet another tale from the PC superstore.

One time I was serving a customer who had come into the shop with his wife. They were buying a very basic PC and nothing much else.

The customer then started to look at a very nice printer.

C: customer (I wouldn't say he was a 'sucky' customer, in fact he was rather nice, but his cheek shocked me).
Me: Yours truly.

C: 'Would we be able to have this printer for free?'
Me: 'Pardon?'
C: 'This printer. We'd really like it if we could have this for free. My wife has just started a new business from home and she's had to pay for everything as it is, it wouldn't be fair if she had to buy yet another thing for work.'
Me: 'Um, well no, we don't just give printers away for free. I'll ask my manager though, to see if he has any packages that come with free printers. I'll be right back.'

I rushed off to find my manager and explain what the customer has just asked me. (Manager: 'WTF?') As the couple were only buying the very basic, cheap-as-chips PC, there weren't any packages. And the printer they wanted for free was not a basic printer, either. It was about £100.

Me: 'Back! Unfortunately we can't give you a printer and we don't have any packages. The most I can give you is the USB cable.' [sounds crap, but they do sell them there for £15]
C: 'Oh. Right. See I hate to ask you again, but is there any chance you could persuade your manager? I mean, my wife's had to pay for loads already and it's totally unfair on her to buy a printer from her own money when it's really for her business.'
Me: 'I understand completely, but we can't just give away free stuff just for that reason. Your wife's business has nothing to do with the store, it's not a valid reason for a free £100 printer.'
C: 'But we're buying a PC anyway.'
Me: 'I know, but we still can't give printers away.'
C: [*sighs and looks solemnly at his wife*] Oh well.
Me: 'I know what it's like. I run a business from home too [I used to run a theatrical agency] and had to pay for everything myself. I know it's not easy but a business can be pricey, and if we gave the same to everyone else starting a business, we'd be out of business ourselves.'
C: 'Oh. Right.'

He thanked me and left. He was polite, I must admit, but we used to get SO MANY people who would come in and expect to get free stuff for no reason - even sillier reasons than the above. He was, luckily, one of the nicer ones.

But why do people do it? I'd love to see what would happen if I went into, say, Dorothy Perkins, and said: 'Well seeing as I'm buying this dress, I think I should get the matching shoes for free. Could I have them for free? I hate to ask but I'm going to this party that I really don't want to go to but have to show up to anyway, and it's unfair if I have to pay for these shoes.'

I'd be escorted out by men in white suits, don'tcha reckon?

Some people are baffling. Truly, truly baffling.

[Crazeyal]

Why do people do it?? BECAUSE IT WORKS!!! Same thing for dating. Don't ask, don't get! You were gonna give them a free cable.. Not much, but more is more.

[Kara]

One of my coworkers said after a call yesterday that he should try going to a Jaguar dealership in town and saying, "I've been driving cars for a long time. I'm a good driver, and I really like this Jag. But, there are other dealers in town and lots of types of cars out there, but I really want to go with you guys. But you're going to have to give it to me for free if you want my business. Oh, but I'll tell everyone I know to come to you and buy one, you'll get tons of business."

[Becks]

C: 'Oh. Right. See I hate to ask you again, but is there any chance you could persuade your manager? I mean, my wife's had to pay for loads already and it's totally unfair on her to buy a printer from her own money when it's really for her business.'

It's not possible to go for the "business expenses" route at year-end tax paying time?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You know, most of my driving is between home and work. It's really not fair that I have to pay for gas with my own money when it's really for work, now is it?

[blas]

Of course it isn't fair!

I mean, I just got a new apartment, so it's simply not fair to hold me responsible for any monetary obligations for the next 6 months...

[Boozy]

I'd love to have pulled him aside and explained things to him as if he were a child:

"Sometimes, as mature individuals behaving as adults, we need to buy things that don't bring us instant gratification. I'd rather spend the five dollars in my wallet on an ice cream cone than on toilet paper, but we're out of toilet paper. I'll literally be flushing that five bucks down the toilet.

Is that fair?

Well, that's not the point. The point is that's LIFE."

And if these folks don't understand that, then their business is doomed to failure.

[blas]

In most self businesses, you must spend money to make money.

At least that's what Mary Kay as all about (but shhhh...the evil ladies will never tell you that you have to spend thousands of dollars before you even make a penny of your own).

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

He was polite but fricking stupid, HOLY CRAP!!

[JuniorMintz]

PFF, I think you're being too nice calling the guy "polite", even. He's a greedy, ignorant buffoon, and after the first time he was told no (and offered a free cable instead!) and persisted, I would have shown him the door.

Just because he wasn't yelling, that doesn't make him polite. Just my opinion, though.

[Kara]

You know, most of my driving is between home and work. It's really not fair that I have to pay for gas with my own money when it's really for work, now is it?

Not to mention the fact that if they expect me to have the energy to come to work, I need to eat to stay alive, so there's another write off. They don't want me coming in nekkid, so I need clothes. And to keep me from snapping and hunting down my customers to beat them with sticks, I'll need a day or two at a spa to relieve stress....

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I think I would've pulled a Comic Book Guy there:

"Allow me to summarize the proposed transaction: you wish to get this printer for free. Net profit to me: negative 100 pounds.

*open cash register*

Oh, oh please, take my 100 pounds! I don't want it! It's yours! Eh eh eh--it seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm. I shall close the register at this point, and state that our prices are non-negotiable!"

[CrazedClerk]

In defense of moron customer, there are a lot of places that throw in a printer when you buy a computer these days...

BUT...and here's the flaw in his logic...

It only works if you are buying a high end system and the free printer is generally a pretty basic model. The other way around just isn't gonna cut it.

And his business expense excuse?? Wow, what a gem.

[journochick]

Not to mention the fact that if they expect me to have the energy to come to work, I need to eat to stay alive, so there's another write off. They don't want me coming in nekkid, so I need clothes. And to keep me from snapping and hunting down my customers to beat them with sticks, I'll need a day or two at a spa to relieve stress....

Too true! Gawd, if only we could get everything we needed for free!

BUT...and here's the flaw in his logic...

It only works if you are buying a high end system and the free printer is generally a pretty basic model. The other way around just isn't gonna cut it.

Exactly - as is the case with this store. There are usually many packages with the medium to high end PCs, and most do come with printers. But the really REALLY basic ones do not. This is because the store doesn't make much money on them anyway so giving stuff away would make the store lose cash.

Manager: 'Did you offer them some Business Plan software?'

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Hm. Clearly, I've been using the word "fair" incorrectly all these years.