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Had back to back idiots today.
Idiot Pair #1 (more stupid than sucky)
They were looking at our selection of laptop computers, which comprised a grand total of seven different machines. Nothing hidden anywhere.
Idiot 1: Where are your laptops in this price range *points to bottom of the line craptops* with both 1GB of memory and something better than Basic Vista?
Me: We don't have any. The cheapest machine with 1GB of RAM and Vista Home Premium is $750.
Idiot #2: So you don't have any with that for $500?
(Yes, I believe that IS what I JUST said, dummy).
Me: We don't have ANY laptops for $500. The least expensive is $550, on clearance.
Idiot #1: Do you know who does?
(Yes, I routinely memorize the inventory of other comptuer stores so you can buy from them instead of us.)
Me: Sir, you'd be lucky to find a machine like that ANYWHERE save for online.
Idiot #1: THANK YOU! (sarcastically, like he's trying to let the whole world know how "unhelpful" I am) *both leave*
You want an uber cheap PC with those specs? Order one custom from Dell with every other useful feature stripped out and that will probably die in a year anyway.
Then, just as my brain is recovering from the attack of the stupids from those two maroons, I end up in the software aisle helping an older, clearly computer-challenged gentleman.
Me (to a different customer in the aisle): What can I help you find today?
Idiot (who I wasn't talking to): Yeah, I'm looking for something to fix my DLL window!
(customer #1 says he's all set and that I can help the interrupter. Great.)
Me: Could you be a little more specific?
Idiot: Yeah. I'm getting an error message. "DLL Window" and I need something to fix that so it goes away. I'm on a budget, by the way.
(I should point out here that I am NOT a PC technician. I am a lifelong Mac-user who has only ever used Windows when absolutely necessary. But even I know that "DLL Window" is just too damn vague to be able to prescribe ANY magical software "fix." That doesn't even sound like an actual error message to me)
Me: Well sir, that's somewhat vague. Without more information about exactly what the problem is, I'd be hesitent to recommend any particular piece of software for you.
Idiot (angrily, and now firmly in SC category): Well the is there ANYONE here who knows their stuff?!?!?
(
you)
Me: Sir, this is my department. I do know my stuff, but as I said, I don't have enough information to be able to give you a solution with any confidence. However, I will point out that our least expensive overall system care package is *software* for $50.
SC: That's well outside my budget. Do you have anything cheaper that will fix my problem.
Me: No sir, I do not. The only other thing I can suggest is that you could bring your computer in for us to look at. Our resident tech will be in at 1 today, and he would probably be able to help you. However, our Diagnostic service is also $50.
SC: THANK YOU! (in the exact same way as the first butthole). *leaves*
Moron. Yes, just rattle off any old error and expect a magical cheap program to fix it. You want a solution for under $50? Go buy a gallon of gasoline and a box of matches, then bring your computer out to the driveway and set it ablaze.
Idiot Pair #1 (more stupid than sucky)
They were looking at our selection of laptop computers, which comprised a grand total of seven different machines. Nothing hidden anywhere.
Idiot 1: Where are your laptops in this price range *points to bottom of the line craptops* with both 1GB of memory and something better than Basic Vista?
Me: We don't have any. The cheapest machine with 1GB of RAM and Vista Home Premium is $750.
Idiot #2: So you don't have any with that for $500?
(Yes, I believe that IS what I JUST said, dummy).
Me: We don't have ANY laptops for $500. The least expensive is $550, on clearance.
Idiot #1: Do you know who does?
(Yes, I routinely memorize the inventory of other comptuer stores so you can buy from them instead of us.)
Me: Sir, you'd be lucky to find a machine like that ANYWHERE save for online.
Idiot #1: THANK YOU! (sarcastically, like he's trying to let the whole world know how "unhelpful" I am) *both leave*
You want an uber cheap PC with those specs? Order one custom from Dell with every other useful feature stripped out and that will probably die in a year anyway.
Then, just as my brain is recovering from the attack of the stupids from those two maroons, I end up in the software aisle helping an older, clearly computer-challenged gentleman.
Me (to a different customer in the aisle): What can I help you find today?
Idiot (who I wasn't talking to): Yeah, I'm looking for something to fix my DLL window!
(customer #1 says he's all set and that I can help the interrupter. Great.)
Me: Could you be a little more specific?
Idiot: Yeah. I'm getting an error message. "DLL Window" and I need something to fix that so it goes away. I'm on a budget, by the way.
(I should point out here that I am NOT a PC technician. I am a lifelong Mac-user who has only ever used Windows when absolutely necessary. But even I know that "DLL Window" is just too damn vague to be able to prescribe ANY magical software "fix." That doesn't even sound like an actual error message to me)
Me: Well sir, that's somewhat vague. Without more information about exactly what the problem is, I'd be hesitent to recommend any particular piece of software for you.
Idiot (angrily, and now firmly in SC category): Well the is there ANYONE here who knows their stuff?!?!?
(
you)Me: Sir, this is my department. I do know my stuff, but as I said, I don't have enough information to be able to give you a solution with any confidence. However, I will point out that our least expensive overall system care package is *software* for $50.
SC: That's well outside my budget. Do you have anything cheaper that will fix my problem.
Me: No sir, I do not. The only other thing I can suggest is that you could bring your computer in for us to look at. Our resident tech will be in at 1 today, and he would probably be able to help you. However, our Diagnostic service is also $50.
SC: THANK YOU! (in the exact same way as the first butthole). *leaves*
Moron. Yes, just rattle off any old error and expect a magical cheap program to fix it. You want a solution for under $50? Go buy a gallon of gasoline and a box of matches, then bring your computer out to the driveway and set it ablaze.
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