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The question that was e-mailed to me was regarding one particular gentleman, who has called us no less than 8 million times, perhaps quarter hourly for the last 900 thousand hours. The question was from my boss, who asked me "What exactly does this guy want?" This was my verbatim response.
I don't know. He calls and he says the exact same thing. "I need to
speak to someone about the flood." So I give him to Terri. Apparently,
Terri isn't good enough, so he calls back again and again. And every
time, he says "I need to speak to someone about the flood." So I try to
figure out what the hell he wants to say or know. And he won't tell me.
He says "I need to speak to someone about the flood." So I give him to
Brandi. And I wonder why we have so many names that end in I. And then
he calls back and he says "I need to speak to someone about the flood."
And I threaten his life and wish for him to die and I say "Every time you
call is an adventure I never wanted. Like swimming naked through shards of
glass." And he says "I need to speak to someone about the flood." And
it's five days later and he still is calling me and saying "I need to
speak to someone about the flood." So I say "Crap, piss, kill! Spit,
hell, damn!" And he says "I need to speak to someone about the flood."
And I start thinking that the letter opener might feel really, really good
lodged in my frontal lobe.
And so my boss wrote me back and said "So...he's crazy?"
I'm not so sure which of us is crazier at this point, actually...
I don't know. He calls and he says the exact same thing. "I need to
speak to someone about the flood." So I give him to Terri. Apparently,
Terri isn't good enough, so he calls back again and again. And every
time, he says "I need to speak to someone about the flood." So I try to
figure out what the hell he wants to say or know. And he won't tell me.
He says "I need to speak to someone about the flood." So I give him to
Brandi. And I wonder why we have so many names that end in I. And then
he calls back and he says "I need to speak to someone about the flood."
And I threaten his life and wish for him to die and I say "Every time you
call is an adventure I never wanted. Like swimming naked through shards of
glass." And he says "I need to speak to someone about the flood." And
it's five days later and he still is calling me and saying "I need to
speak to someone about the flood." So I say "Crap, piss, kill! Spit,
hell, damn!" And he says "I need to speak to someone about the flood."
And I start thinking that the letter opener might feel really, really good
lodged in my frontal lobe.
And so my boss wrote me back and said "So...he's crazy?"
I'm not so sure which of us is crazier at this point, actually...
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