I just got back from work about 10 minutes ago. That was the longest 4 hours of my life. Never have I seen more stupidity, ignorance, and assholery in one day.
The illogical
I was putting an item back that happened to be in the dog food section.
Lady: Excuse me, sir?
Me: How can I help you?
Lady: Do you know where the PuppyChow is?
Me: *Oh great, I can bet this person expects me to know every brand of product in the store* Hmm...well, ma'am, I honestly have no idea, but it should be somewhere in this aisle.
30 seconds later...
Lady: I found it. *snaps at me in a bitchy tone* You must be new here. *hurries out of the aisle*
Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. We have 30,000 brands in the store and I've only memorized up to 29,999. That one happened to be the PuppyChow. Come back to me next time and I should know exactly where it is.
The jerk
My friend/co-worker was pushing carts outside. Normally when you're doing this, people just drive around you in order to get to a parking space and don't complain about it.
B = my friend
B: *pushing carts*
Guy: *drives up right behind B* Hey! HEY! YOU! GET OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING WAY YOU FUCKING LITTLE BOY!
B: *turns around clenching fist* What did you just say to me?
Guy: *drives away*
Seriously, how much of a dick do you have to be to do that to someone pushing carts? I asked my friend why he didn't cuss back at the guy cause even the manager would be on his side in that case, but he said he was afraid he'd get fired. If I was in trouble for cussing back at someone who did that to me, I'd quit myself because clearly the management sucks if they were on the customer's side.
The PETA activist
This one takes the cake as the stupidest thing that has happened at my store. I was going to put grocery baskets back in the lobby when some random guy came up to me:
Random guy: Hey, there's some lady out there who's requesting some help from an employee here.
"Sure," I thought to myself, "No biggie. She probably just wants help to her car since it's raining out and stuff. Doesn't seem too unreasonable to me."
I walked out there to see a lady wearing a blue nylon coat and holding two dogs on leashes.
Me: How can I help you?
Lady: Yes! Look over there at that car! The red and black truck! Do you see that dog in there?? It's been barking whenever there has been thunder and it's clearly scared to DEATH of the thunder! I'm about to call the police if you don't do anything about it! This is animal cruelty!
Now, I had no idea what the hell to do because, quite frankly, it wasn't our problem. Whenever I see people leave their dogs in the car, it's either on a cool day or they're in there for only a minute or two. The guy's dog in the car was not panting, looked well-fed, the windows were down, it wasn't hot out, the sun was almost totally down, and the dog was only barking at really loud claps of thunder. The whole thing looked 100% fine to me. I mean even my dog barks at loud claps of thunder sometimes.
Me: ...uhh...ok...well ma'am what exactly do you want me to do..?
Lady: Get your manager!
So I go inside to get my manager and tell him the story.
Manager: What the hell does she expect us to do?
Me: I have no idea but she said she'd call the police if I didn't get you.
Manager: Oh geeze
So the manager went outside and heard the lady's stupid story. After that, he walked down to the car and wrote its license plate number down. I stayed out to get the rest of the carts when I saw a man walk to the car.
Me: Hey dude
Man: Yes?
Me: You see that lady over there in the blue jacket?
Man: Yeah
Me: She's fucking insane and is probably about to walk over here to talk to you about animal cruelty.
Man: What?
Me: She thinks that because you left your dog insi...
Lady: HEY! YOU!
Me: ...aaaand here she comes now.
Lady: YOU! I'm about ONE MINUTE away from calling the police on you for animal cruelty!!
Man: What the hell are you talking about?
Lady: You left your dog in there ALONE!
Man: Ma'am, this dog is treated better than most people. I left the air conditioning on in the car and the windows open. I was inside for a minute and even timed myself to make sure I got out quickly. I suggest you fucking leave.
Lady: You can't leave a dog in the car!
Man: Well I did, so you can kiss my fucking ass and get the hell away
Me: *I wish I could've said those things to her*
Lady: *starts walking away* Screw you!
Man: Kiss my ass
Lady: Kiss MY ass!! *walks away furiously with her dogs*
Me: Wow, some people are really fucking insane. I mean even I knew your dog was completely fine.
Man: Yeah, I know, man. Some people are crazy.
Me: I mean I've had a shitty day today and dealing with this just makes it harder.
I had about 4 carts sitting next to me that I was going to push in. Suddenly, some guy in an SUV backed up REALLY fast.
Me: Whoa WHOA WHOA STOP!
The guy backed up right into my carts. I was thinking to myself that I was now going to have to deal with this bullshit. The guy slowed down a bit, stopped, and then sped away real fast. To me, it looked like the guy purposely kept backing up really really far and fast in order to hit the carts. I mean he backed up about 3x farther and faster than most people do when they back out of a parking space. Plus, the carts were clearly visible. I dunno if he was attempting to hurt me or his car for insurance fraud or what, but it was weird.
So after that ordeal, I went to the other side of the lot to grab the rest of the carts. When I was done, I saw that guy with the dog in the car inside the store, clenching his fist at my manager and almost shaking:
Guy: DON'T YOU EVER TAKE DOWN MY LICENSE NUMBER AGAIN! EVER!!!
We all thought that he was going to hit my manager. If he said one stupid or wrong thing, he woulda gotten hit right in the face. However, somehow my manager calmed him down and ended up talking to him about his dog. Apparently this man saved this dog from cruelty because it was chained to a fence in the back of an abandoned house. He also lets the dog sleep on an oriental rug, has more toys than most children, and totally pampers this dog. Kind of funny based upon what that lady was speculating about that man.
Pretty much today sucked major ass. Longest 4 hours EVER. Why do I work there again?
The illogical
I was putting an item back that happened to be in the dog food section.
Lady: Excuse me, sir?
Me: How can I help you?
Lady: Do you know where the PuppyChow is?
Me: *Oh great, I can bet this person expects me to know every brand of product in the store* Hmm...well, ma'am, I honestly have no idea, but it should be somewhere in this aisle.
30 seconds later...
Lady: I found it. *snaps at me in a bitchy tone* You must be new here. *hurries out of the aisle*
Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. We have 30,000 brands in the store and I've only memorized up to 29,999. That one happened to be the PuppyChow. Come back to me next time and I should know exactly where it is.
The jerk
My friend/co-worker was pushing carts outside. Normally when you're doing this, people just drive around you in order to get to a parking space and don't complain about it.
B = my friend
B: *pushing carts*
Guy: *drives up right behind B* Hey! HEY! YOU! GET OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING WAY YOU FUCKING LITTLE BOY!
B: *turns around clenching fist* What did you just say to me?
Guy: *drives away*
Seriously, how much of a dick do you have to be to do that to someone pushing carts? I asked my friend why he didn't cuss back at the guy cause even the manager would be on his side in that case, but he said he was afraid he'd get fired. If I was in trouble for cussing back at someone who did that to me, I'd quit myself because clearly the management sucks if they were on the customer's side.
The PETA activist
This one takes the cake as the stupidest thing that has happened at my store. I was going to put grocery baskets back in the lobby when some random guy came up to me:
Random guy: Hey, there's some lady out there who's requesting some help from an employee here.
"Sure," I thought to myself, "No biggie. She probably just wants help to her car since it's raining out and stuff. Doesn't seem too unreasonable to me."
I walked out there to see a lady wearing a blue nylon coat and holding two dogs on leashes.
Me: How can I help you?
Lady: Yes! Look over there at that car! The red and black truck! Do you see that dog in there?? It's been barking whenever there has been thunder and it's clearly scared to DEATH of the thunder! I'm about to call the police if you don't do anything about it! This is animal cruelty!
Now, I had no idea what the hell to do because, quite frankly, it wasn't our problem. Whenever I see people leave their dogs in the car, it's either on a cool day or they're in there for only a minute or two. The guy's dog in the car was not panting, looked well-fed, the windows were down, it wasn't hot out, the sun was almost totally down, and the dog was only barking at really loud claps of thunder. The whole thing looked 100% fine to me. I mean even my dog barks at loud claps of thunder sometimes.
Me: ...uhh...ok...well ma'am what exactly do you want me to do..?
Lady: Get your manager!
So I go inside to get my manager and tell him the story.
Manager: What the hell does she expect us to do?
Me: I have no idea but she said she'd call the police if I didn't get you.
Manager: Oh geeze
So the manager went outside and heard the lady's stupid story. After that, he walked down to the car and wrote its license plate number down. I stayed out to get the rest of the carts when I saw a man walk to the car.
Me: Hey dude
Man: Yes?
Me: You see that lady over there in the blue jacket?
Man: Yeah
Me: She's fucking insane and is probably about to walk over here to talk to you about animal cruelty.
Man: What?
Me: She thinks that because you left your dog insi...
Lady: HEY! YOU!
Me: ...aaaand here she comes now.
Lady: YOU! I'm about ONE MINUTE away from calling the police on you for animal cruelty!!
Man: What the hell are you talking about?
Lady: You left your dog in there ALONE!
Man: Ma'am, this dog is treated better than most people. I left the air conditioning on in the car and the windows open. I was inside for a minute and even timed myself to make sure I got out quickly. I suggest you fucking leave.
Lady: You can't leave a dog in the car!
Man: Well I did, so you can kiss my fucking ass and get the hell away
Me: *I wish I could've said those things to her*
Lady: *starts walking away* Screw you!
Man: Kiss my ass
Lady: Kiss MY ass!! *walks away furiously with her dogs*
Me: Wow, some people are really fucking insane. I mean even I knew your dog was completely fine.
Man: Yeah, I know, man. Some people are crazy.
Me: I mean I've had a shitty day today and dealing with this just makes it harder.
I had about 4 carts sitting next to me that I was going to push in. Suddenly, some guy in an SUV backed up REALLY fast.
Me: Whoa WHOA WHOA STOP!
The guy backed up right into my carts. I was thinking to myself that I was now going to have to deal with this bullshit. The guy slowed down a bit, stopped, and then sped away real fast. To me, it looked like the guy purposely kept backing up really really far and fast in order to hit the carts. I mean he backed up about 3x farther and faster than most people do when they back out of a parking space. Plus, the carts were clearly visible. I dunno if he was attempting to hurt me or his car for insurance fraud or what, but it was weird.
So after that ordeal, I went to the other side of the lot to grab the rest of the carts. When I was done, I saw that guy with the dog in the car inside the store, clenching his fist at my manager and almost shaking:
Guy: DON'T YOU EVER TAKE DOWN MY LICENSE NUMBER AGAIN! EVER!!!
We all thought that he was going to hit my manager. If he said one stupid or wrong thing, he woulda gotten hit right in the face. However, somehow my manager calmed him down and ended up talking to him about his dog. Apparently this man saved this dog from cruelty because it was chained to a fence in the back of an abandoned house. He also lets the dog sleep on an oriental rug, has more toys than most children, and totally pampers this dog. Kind of funny based upon what that lady was speculating about that man.
Pretty much today sucked major ass. Longest 4 hours EVER. Why do I work there again?
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