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Now you're probably thinking "what the heck kind of messed up circus is THAT???"
Well actually, these are all elements of my days trapped on a headset at the call centre.
A bit slow are we?
SC: My plan has changed, it used to be 100 extra minutes but now it's 50.
Me: Well I see your most recent plan change was in January 2006, before that was September 2005. In fact, April 2004 was when you last had the 100 minute deal.
SC: But my brother's friend still has that plan! I want it back!
Me: Well he probably still has the plan because he never changed it.
SC: Neither did I!
Me: According to my system you have ma'am, TWICE actually since you had the 100 extra minutes in your plan.
SC: How come no one told me about it?
Me: Your plan is clearly indicated on every bill you recieve. Unfortunately we no longer offer that plan so there's no way you could get back on it.
SC: But no one told me it ever changed!
Me: Every change we make to your service is indicated on your bill, in that sense, we *did* tell you.
SC: Well what are you going to do for me?!
Me: There's not much I can do ma'am, as I said that old plan no longer exists in our system.
SC: So why does [brother's friend] still have it?
Me: Because he never changed it.
[15 more minutes pass of her and I going in circles]
SC: Neither did I! This is wrong, I have been lied to and cheated. I want to speak to a Supervisor!
[Sup listens to the story]
Sup: I'm sorry ma'am, but the plan has been changed twice and it's been a year and a half since the change, you had plenty of time to realize this.
SC: I never changed it!
Sup: Yes you did ma'am, TWICE [deja vu lady?]
SC: This is wrong, you can't change things without telling people, you have to fix this for me!
Sup: There's nothing to fix ma'am, the plan was changed, we can't get your old plan back it's no longer offered.
SC: Don't be rude to me!
Sup: I'm not being rude ma'am (he wasn't), I am stating the facts. There is nothing I can do for you.
(at this point he handed the headset back to me saying this lady wanted to speak to me again)
Me: Hello again, ma'am
SC: Your supervisor is a jerk, unbelivably rude!
Me: Well ma'am I can think of one more thing I can do for you...
(At this point I transfered her to cancellations
)
Contract killers
Not a particular SC story per se, I just get a kick out of all these people who like to tell me what THEIR contract states when I am looking at the contract ON MY SCREEN and saying either it DOES say what they claim it doesn't or DOESN'T say what they claim it does ("It doesn't say THAT!!" "sir/ma'am I have the EXACT DOCUMENT on my screen and it does"). I've never once had an SC prove me wrong when investigating a contract claim.
Everybody and their uncle telling me what the contract stipulates and how they are going to sue us because we have breached the deal. Please people, read the fine print, if you did, you'd notice all the stuff we can get away with after you sign it.
Pimp my phone
I don't remember the whole convo line for line but a guy called me asking why he had a balance owing on his account of $12, he thought he was paid up. Turns out he actually had over $200 of other pending charges on his account so he was nowhere close to paid up.
He decided that the phone, was in fact a hooker because "it" kept asking him for more and more money all the time. He went on this analogy for like 5 minutes total talking about the crazy amounts of money he has to pay on the phone and how it's like dealing with a Vegas call girl on a bad night.
Then he goes on to say if we put the charges on he's not going to pay and he's going to fight this. He also says he has a crack team of three lawyers, including get this - Johnnie Cochran's brother! I just can't make this stuff up folks.
So after being threatening my company and I with prosecution from the Tito Jackson of the legal system, he asked for a supervisor.
Usually we get to listen to sup calls, but in this case I didn't have the chance and I REALLY wish I had because it would've been great. At one point the sup muted the guy and yelled out to the center: "this guy just asked me if I knew what a hooker was!" I nearly burst out laughing, I had to bite my tongue. The guy was trying to be intimidating but it was far more threatening than funny. He eventually hung up. I wonder if Tito Cochran will haunt my dreams now.
The reverse magician
You know how magicians make things disappear?? We'll apparently there's some mysterious figure in the mobile world who magically makes charges appear on customers' bills. I know this because all day long I hear from customers who explain to me that they "never used that stuff" or "never made those calls" or "don't know anything about that." I can only surmise that since no one knows where these phantom charges come from that there must be a cloaked figure wreaking havoc on cell networks everywhere.
either that or my customers are a pack of raging liars.
Sorry, you're not that "special"
My company recently decided to offer a sort of deal to a certain type of customers. Basically for people who called in all the time, they pretty much zeroed their balance and told them to go somewhere else for service.
This has caused two problems for me:
1) People who call up and beg me to find someone who'll let them get that arrangment
2) People who call and simply say they don't really want anything, they are just trying to call a lot to see if they get cancelled.
Oh how I would love a big honking red CANCEL button right there at my station that would immediately cancel the customer's account if hit it, complete with "Wah-waaaaa" sound effect, but sadly Kara has not invented one for me yet.
I've learned in this business you never "hear it all", there's always more stupid waiting on the next call.
Well actually, these are all elements of my days trapped on a headset at the call centre.
A bit slow are we?
SC: My plan has changed, it used to be 100 extra minutes but now it's 50.
Me: Well I see your most recent plan change was in January 2006, before that was September 2005. In fact, April 2004 was when you last had the 100 minute deal.
SC: But my brother's friend still has that plan! I want it back!
Me: Well he probably still has the plan because he never changed it.
SC: Neither did I!
Me: According to my system you have ma'am, TWICE actually since you had the 100 extra minutes in your plan.
SC: How come no one told me about it?
Me: Your plan is clearly indicated on every bill you recieve. Unfortunately we no longer offer that plan so there's no way you could get back on it.
SC: But no one told me it ever changed!
Me: Every change we make to your service is indicated on your bill, in that sense, we *did* tell you.
SC: Well what are you going to do for me?!
Me: There's not much I can do ma'am, as I said that old plan no longer exists in our system.
SC: So why does [brother's friend] still have it?
Me: Because he never changed it.
[15 more minutes pass of her and I going in circles]
SC: Neither did I! This is wrong, I have been lied to and cheated. I want to speak to a Supervisor!
[Sup listens to the story]
Sup: I'm sorry ma'am, but the plan has been changed twice and it's been a year and a half since the change, you had plenty of time to realize this.
SC: I never changed it!
Sup: Yes you did ma'am, TWICE [deja vu lady?]
SC: This is wrong, you can't change things without telling people, you have to fix this for me!
Sup: There's nothing to fix ma'am, the plan was changed, we can't get your old plan back it's no longer offered.
SC: Don't be rude to me!
Sup: I'm not being rude ma'am (he wasn't), I am stating the facts. There is nothing I can do for you.
(at this point he handed the headset back to me saying this lady wanted to speak to me again)
Me: Hello again, ma'am
SC: Your supervisor is a jerk, unbelivably rude!
Me: Well ma'am I can think of one more thing I can do for you...
(At this point I transfered her to cancellations
)Contract killers
Not a particular SC story per se, I just get a kick out of all these people who like to tell me what THEIR contract states when I am looking at the contract ON MY SCREEN and saying either it DOES say what they claim it doesn't or DOESN'T say what they claim it does ("It doesn't say THAT!!" "sir/ma'am I have the EXACT DOCUMENT on my screen and it does"). I've never once had an SC prove me wrong when investigating a contract claim.
Everybody and their uncle telling me what the contract stipulates and how they are going to sue us because we have breached the deal. Please people, read the fine print, if you did, you'd notice all the stuff we can get away with after you sign it.
Pimp my phone
I don't remember the whole convo line for line but a guy called me asking why he had a balance owing on his account of $12, he thought he was paid up. Turns out he actually had over $200 of other pending charges on his account so he was nowhere close to paid up.
He decided that the phone, was in fact a hooker because "it" kept asking him for more and more money all the time. He went on this analogy for like 5 minutes total talking about the crazy amounts of money he has to pay on the phone and how it's like dealing with a Vegas call girl on a bad night.
Then he goes on to say if we put the charges on he's not going to pay and he's going to fight this. He also says he has a crack team of three lawyers, including get this - Johnnie Cochran's brother!
I just can't make this stuff up folks. So after being threatening my company and I with prosecution from the Tito Jackson of the legal system, he asked for a supervisor.
Usually we get to listen to sup calls, but in this case I didn't have the chance and I REALLY wish I had because it would've been great. At one point the sup muted the guy and yelled out to the center: "this guy just asked me if I knew what a hooker was!" I nearly burst out laughing, I had to bite my tongue. The guy was trying to be intimidating but it was far more threatening than funny. He eventually hung up. I wonder if Tito Cochran will haunt my dreams now.
The reverse magician
You know how magicians make things disappear?? We'll apparently there's some mysterious figure in the mobile world who magically makes charges appear on customers' bills. I know this because all day long I hear from customers who explain to me that they "never used that stuff" or "never made those calls" or "don't know anything about that." I can only surmise that since no one knows where these phantom charges come from that there must be a cloaked figure wreaking havoc on cell networks everywhere.
either that or my customers are a pack of raging liars.
Sorry, you're not that "special"
My company recently decided to offer a sort of deal to a certain type of customers. Basically for people who called in all the time, they pretty much zeroed their balance and told them to go somewhere else for service.
This has caused two problems for me:
1) People who call up and beg me to find someone who'll let them get that arrangment
2) People who call and simply say they don't really want anything, they are just trying to call a lot to see if they get cancelled.
Oh how I would love a big honking red CANCEL button right there at my station that would immediately cancel the customer's account if hit it, complete with "Wah-waaaaa" sound effect, but sadly Kara has not invented one for me yet.
I've learned in this business you never "hear it all", there's always more stupid waiting on the next call.
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