Different job, Same SC's... only... weirder

[Gaudemeus]

Well, I finally got a new job, which I actually like since it's easy as all hell. But in my three days of employment, some of the customers I got have been... for lack of a better term, strange.

The first customer that struck me as not having all her eggs in her basket asked me, in the dairy section, if I could turn the cooling units off because she was cold.

The next asked me, as I was stocking eggs, where the eggs where. Now, it's a ten foot section, surely my two foot shoulder span doesn't completely obscure your view of the eggs. Did you try looking anywhere but at me when you decided you needed to make youre omelette?

Finally, today, I was rotating as I was stocking. Putting the old in front and the new in back. I did this with the milk, yogurt, biscuits, and eggs. When I finally got to the eggs, I noticed a young woman avidly watching what I was doing. When I asked her if I could help her she burst into this tirade:

"WHY ARE YOU PUTTING THOSE EGGS IN THE BACK!? ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE THE GOOD EGGS FOR YOURSELF? OR ARE THE EGGS IN THE FRONT POISONED!? THEY'RE POISONED!"

Then she went dead silent and shuffled away. Needless to say, I was a bit more wary of my stocking duties for the rest of the day.

Tomorrow is my fourth day there and then I have a week off for my friends wedding and seeing my girlfriend, so hopefully the next strange customer won't shank me for checking the dates on the Cheese.


NEW----

Well, I've been back to work twice since I got back from the wedding. They've cut my hours, which I'm apathetic about, but all that means is I get a more concentrated form of SC, which will stand for Strange Customer.

The first was, how should I put this delicately.... a little obsessed.

LADY- Where are your frozen strawberries? I need some frozen strawberries. Tonight I'm making Strawberry shortcake for my company and I need frozen strawberries, but I can't find them and I need them.

ME- *WTF!? Take a breath* Umm... I'm not sure, let me go get my coworker right quick. He'll know where they are.

LADY- Oh my god! I need them and you don't know where they are? I have company coming over tonight and I need frozen strawberries to make strawberry shor-

ME- I understand, ma'am. If you'll just follow me, we'll get my coworker and he'll show you where the strawberries are and you'll be all fixed up.


Basically, she talks to me and then eventually to my coworker the ENTIRE time about how badly she needs to have these frozen strawberries. It takes us all of a minute and a half to finish up with her. The way she looked was what made me think that she wasn't just an ordinary customer having company come over. She seemed frantic and scared. Anyway....


Last night was the strangest by far. I don't know if it was a full moon or what, but dang.

I was zoning the yogurt because apparently the people there during the day went on break for six hours, and this woman (It always seems to be women...) pushes her cart into my thigh. I'm not bothered by this, although it was unexpected. I proceed with the usual "Can I help you?" stuff, and she pushes her cart into my thigh again. Now this woman was maybe 110 pounds and older than my mother. I'm six foot, two-hundred and twenty pounds. I give this woman the Ivan Drago from Rocky IV "I must break you" glare. AND SHE DOES IT AGAIN! I begin to walk away at this point, after having moved well out of her way to begin with, thinking she wanted the yogurt, and she's right on my tail. When I get to the backroom doors I turn and say "I'm sorry ma'am, you're not allowed back here." And she zooms off.

I have to go now, but I'll post the rest later on.

[Crazeyal]

Ah... the "I'm being POISONED!!!" screech...

Makes you want to answer "yes"...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I'd be less worried about the eggs and more worried about the water supply.

[ShinyGreenApple]

*snip*

"THEY'RE POISONED!"

There'd be no sense to be killin' you, Miss Turner.




Sorry. I know, I'm a geek.

[Sofar]

(Improper use of a semicolon?)

A regular colon would do. There is debate on the matter of whether a colon terminates a sentence or not, so you could capitalize the next word or not, it's up to you.

[Sliceanddice]

awwwww not that your story wasnt funny but i was expecting a story about you stokcing or something and suddenly Mr jackass and Ms bitch came round the corner and recongnived you from your last job and then made your like hell

[Boozy]

A regular colon would do. There is debate on the matter of whether a colon terminates a sentence or not, so you could capitalize the next word or not, it's up to you.

No. A regular colon would have been worse.

The sentence should have read:

"But in my three days of employment, some of the customers I got have been, for lack of a better term...strange."

I think I might have written:

"Some of the customers I got have been (for lack of a better term) - strange."

Back to your regularly scheduled topic...

[Gurndigarn]

No. A regular colon would have been worse.

The sentence should have read:

"But in my three days of employment, some of the customers I got have been, for lack of a better term...strange."

A regular colon is the more traditional usage and would work. However, the colon is on its death bed, and has been replaced in most cases by ellipses and em dashes. It's going to end up like the subjunctive tense, used in a very few specific cases, but not used beyond that.

[JustADude]

But in my three days of employment, some of the customers I got have been... for lack of a better term; strange.

My take on it would've been as follows:

"But in my three days of employment some of the customers I got have been, for lack of a better term, strange."


Oh, and as witnessed above, I use a colon when there's a formatting break yet a logical continuation of the sentence.

[Broomjockey]

The use of colons and semi-colons as taught to me by my grammar teacher was that semi-colons are for the joining of two equally weighted sentences, either part able to stand on its own as a seperate and complete thought, colons are for denoting the start of lists or as a clarification of the previous statment or expansion of the thought within.

This said, I now proclaim: WHY ARE YOU POISONING MY EGGS!!!?!?!?!?!

[walking with scissors]

"WHY ARE YOU PUTTING THOSE EGGS IN THE BACK!? ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE THE GOOD EGGS FOR YOURSELF? OR ARE THE EGGS IN THE FRONT POISONED!? THEY'RE POISONED!"

This made the people in my area wonder why I suddenly snorted and then giggled.

How would one go about poisoning eggs anyway?

[Shengirl]

Wow, congratulations. I've spent like four years at the grocery store without ever being accused of poisoning someone!

[Daphne]

Semi-colons are used to join two independent clauses.

As for the crazies, you have my sympathy. I am in a profession where I deal with all kinds of nutcases on a daily basis.

[Sofar]

No. A regular colon would have been worse.

The sentence should have read:

"But in my three days of employment, some of the customers I got have been, for lack of a better term...strange."

I think I might have written:

"Some of the customers I got have been (for lack of a better term) - strange."

Back to your regularly scheduled topic...

No no no no no. That's all wrong. I try to lead by example and keep my mouth shut, but does anybody know how to use an em dash? The em dash is not proceeded nor followed by a space, and one hyphen will not do to represent it. To get a real em dash use H.T.M.L., — will do it. Otherwise, two hyphens--no space. But the ellipsis, people are constantly fucking that up. Space, dot, space, dot, space, dot. Very simple, like this . . . not this...not this.... but this . . . and if you leave one hanging at the end of a sentence, put a comma on the end . . . ,

And might I remind you that when you transition into a statement in parentheses, (use commas,) or a full stop if you need it. Same deal with quotes, "Use a comma before you make a quote. And remember that all punctuation goes before the ending quotation mark." If you want curly quotes, use “ and ”. ’ will get you a curly apostrophe, too.

[Boozy]

How would one go about poisoning eggs anyway?

It'd be quite the feat to poison the eggs and not the chicken.

Or do you sell poisoned chicken too?