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....so instead he's in my store causing myself, one of the cashiers, my department lead, and the general manager a whole world of stress and aggravation. And as you may have gathered from my recent posts, I'm getting close to the end of my rope SC-wise. I swear, I wanted to punch this guy in the face. He was BY FAR the worst customer I've dealt with all week. Call it the Crowning Glory SC of all the SCs I've dealt with with since Saturday.
This started (for me) when my department lead handed me a copy of the flyer and told me that I "needed to sell this guy something to go with this." (This being the laptop circled in the flyer). I guess she hadn't had much success in getting him to buy an attachment and watned me to tag team him while she got the laptop.
O.....k......
Me: Were you going to need a carrying case or any software with your laptop today, sir?
SC: babble babble babble babble raincheck babble babble babble.
Me:.....Ok, were you interested in our accidental damage coverage?
SC: No.
At this point I realized that this guy apparently hadn't encountered soap and water since the Eisenhower administration, so I gave up and went to do something else.
And yet, somehow (and I'm still not quite sure how this happened) I ended up behind the front counter dealing with this guy for the next 15 hate-filled minutes.
SC: Yeah, I need this. *Hands me a coupon that gets him EasyTech Data Transfer service for $9.99*
Me: Oh, you'd like us to transfer your data to your new PC?
SC: What? No, I want THIS *points at coupon*
Me: Sir, this is a coupon for our Data Transfer service. So if you need us to get data off your old PC onto this laptop we can do that for you.
SC: No, I want this taken off the price.
Me: Sir, this is a coupon that gets you this service for this price. It's not a dollars-off coupon.
SC: No discount?
Me: No sir, this is for a SERVICE.
SC: Ok. I need this *throws down a coupon for $2 off Staples brand recycled copy paper* You'll get it?
Me: Um....
SC: And I need this *throws down coupon for $2 off a particular set of markers* You'll get this, too?
I'm sorry, what? "I'll get it?" You think you get to stand at the Service Desk, tying up one of ours registers and have us run and fetch shit for you? You think we're your personal shoppers? Well FUCK you AND the horse you rode in on!!!!
Me (taking a deep breath): Sure..... *walks away to get items, mumbling curses and invectives under my breath*
I dropped the two items off at the Service Desk and attempted to make a beeline to another part of the store. Nope, no dice.
SC: And these? *points to offer in the flyer for free printer and free Sony Location-Free Base Station (after rebates) with the purchase of any laptop*
Me: Ok, I'll get those.
I get the stupid printer.
Me: Ok, now this doesn't come with a USB cable to hook it---
SC: No.
Me: Well would you like an extra set of ink car---
SC: NO!
Me: Ok.
SC: And the Sony?
Me: Yes, I'm getting that next.
SC: What is it, anyway?
OK, if you don't know what it is, then you don't want it.
Me: It's a network device that connects to your cable or satellite TV service and allows you to watch YOUR TV channels anywhere in the world, through any computer.
SC: Where is it?
Me: I have to get it sir. Hold on.
I went into lockup to get it, at this point really starting to lose my patience with this asshole.
And low and behold, the item isn't in stock. I double and triple checked, then grabbed a hand scanner to check the inventory, because I did not want this guy blowing up on me. Nope, we don't have any. ZERO on hand in the system. I go out to break the bad news to him and find him arguing with the cashier about another coupon! She (the cashier) looked like she wanted to curl up in a ball and die (mainly because of the guy's BO I lately found out).
Me: Sir, unfortunately I do not have this item, but-
SC: Well then you'll give me a raincheck?
Me: We don't issue rainchecks sir, but-
SC: If I can't get that then I don't need any of this!!!!
Me:..........
What the fuck!!!! Two minutes ago you didn't even have your shit together enough to know what the damn thing is. Now your "needing" the other items revolves around getting this free item? Just what the hell is your problem!?!?
SC: What are you going to do?
Me: I can try to order this for you.
SC: Fine. You will have it shipped to my house!!
Me: That's fine. *hops onto .com Kiosk to start the order*
Then when I looked up, he was gone!
Me: Where'd he go?!
Cashier: That way. He stinks!!
Me: Yeah I know.......
I decided to print out the rebate forms for the Base Station so as to nip that potential problem in the bud. Eventually he wandered back over.
SC: You ordered it?
Me: Not yet sir, I need your name and address first.
SC: This *thrusts his Rewards Check in my face*
Me: OK. *checks address, sees it's in Massachusetts* Sir, if you want me to ship this directly to you, then I'll need to add 5% sales tax to this item.
SC: NO!!!!!! I'm buying it HERE!!!!!! *gesticulates wildly* [here being New Hampshire, no sales tax in NH)
Me: Sir, Massachusetts state law requires that all items shipped there be charged 5% sales tax.
SC: NO!!!!!! There is NO TAX here!!!!!!!
At this point my face is flushing with anger.
Me: Sir, you are having the item delivered. I am REQUIRED to charge sales tax.
SC: WHAT TAX?!?!?!? This is FREE!!!!!!!
Alright, listen fuckface. You are wrong. And I am not going to budge on this.
Me: Sir, it's free after rebate. You are still PAYING for it at the register, therefore there IS tax on it. "Free" does NOT include sales tax. If this were free instantly, then there would be no tax, but it is NOT.
SC: And how much will yo be charging me for that?!
Me: $6.25.
SC:...........................
I placed the order and handed the paperwork to the cashier, she rang it in, then I PERSONALLY pressed "Modify Item - Item Tax Change" and added 5% tax to the Base Station
SC: The printer?
Me: it's right here sir......*to the cashier* OK, the coupon codes you need are on-
SC: Why are you bringing me Canon when it say here HP 1 3 4 1. *points to flyer*
Me: What's that? *look at flyer: curses inwardly* Oh, I grabbed the wrong printer. I'll just get the right one.
*switches printers*
Then there was a problem with the price of the Base Station. The amount of the instant coupon and the rebates didn't add up. I had to involve the GM to figure out what was going on. Turned out we needed to manually lower the price by $45 since it was rung in as an order, not an on hand item.
SC: And the printer?
Me: It's right here.
SC: It says here "free printer and Sony location-free base station with the purchase of any laptop."
Steve (GM): Dave1982, that's the 1341?
Me: Yes it is. Right here *points*
Steve: Yeah, we got that right here sir.
SC: No, the Canon.
Me: You told me you didn't want the Canon!
Steve: We got you the HP 1341, which it says here *points to flyer* comes with this laptop.
SC: No, look. It says down here *points to the laptop in the ad* that the laptop comes with the HP 1341. Then up here it says free printer and sony location-free base station with the purchase of any laptop. So I should get the Canon as well.
Me (all but screaming): You don't get TWO free printers!
Steve: Sir, this is an HP laptop, and it comes with a free HP printer. The Canon is for Acer and Toshiba laptops.
SC: That's not what it says here!
OK, for the record, the part of the flyer he was referencing did NOT specify any particular printer. The printer was specified down below in the listing for the laptop. IN other words, the HP one, not the Canon one. Sure as hell it didn't mean you get TWo free printers, plus a free $200 network device.
He then proceeded to argue with the GM for a full five minutes before eventually paying and leaving. I apologized to Steve for interrupting him while he was dealing with this guy, then we all commiserated about how we would have preferred to just punch the guy.
I don't know what he did prior to my first encounter with him, but he REALLY had the department lead tweaking. She was more angry than I was!
Even now, just typing this up has caused my blood pressure to go up and my brain to hurt.
Thankfully, I now have a day off to recuperate.
(By the way, bonus points for whoever can correctly guess what I'm referencing in my thread title)
This started (for me) when my department lead handed me a copy of the flyer and told me that I "needed to sell this guy something to go with this." (This being the laptop circled in the flyer). I guess she hadn't had much success in getting him to buy an attachment and watned me to tag team him while she got the laptop.
O.....k......
Me: Were you going to need a carrying case or any software with your laptop today, sir?
SC: babble babble babble babble raincheck babble babble babble.
Me:.....Ok, were you interested in our accidental damage coverage?
SC: No.
At this point I realized that this guy apparently hadn't encountered soap and water since the Eisenhower administration, so I gave up and went to do something else.
And yet, somehow (and I'm still not quite sure how this happened) I ended up behind the front counter dealing with this guy for the next 15 hate-filled minutes.
SC: Yeah, I need this. *Hands me a coupon that gets him EasyTech Data Transfer service for $9.99*
Me: Oh, you'd like us to transfer your data to your new PC?
SC: What? No, I want THIS *points at coupon*
Me: Sir, this is a coupon for our Data Transfer service. So if you need us to get data off your old PC onto this laptop we can do that for you.
SC: No, I want this taken off the price.
Me: Sir, this is a coupon that gets you this service for this price. It's not a dollars-off coupon.
SC: No discount?
Me: No sir, this is for a SERVICE.
SC: Ok. I need this *throws down a coupon for $2 off Staples brand recycled copy paper* You'll get it?
Me: Um....
SC: And I need this *throws down coupon for $2 off a particular set of markers* You'll get this, too?
I'm sorry, what? "I'll get it?" You think you get to stand at the Service Desk, tying up one of ours registers and have us run and fetch shit for you? You think we're your personal shoppers? Well FUCK you AND the horse you rode in on!!!!
Me (taking a deep breath): Sure..... *walks away to get items, mumbling curses and invectives under my breath*
I dropped the two items off at the Service Desk and attempted to make a beeline to another part of the store. Nope, no dice.
SC: And these? *points to offer in the flyer for free printer and free Sony Location-Free Base Station (after rebates) with the purchase of any laptop*
Me: Ok, I'll get those.
I get the stupid printer.
Me: Ok, now this doesn't come with a USB cable to hook it---
SC: No.
Me: Well would you like an extra set of ink car---
SC: NO!
Me: Ok.
SC: And the Sony?
Me: Yes, I'm getting that next.
SC: What is it, anyway?
OK, if you don't know what it is, then you don't want it.
Me: It's a network device that connects to your cable or satellite TV service and allows you to watch YOUR TV channels anywhere in the world, through any computer.
SC: Where is it?
Me: I have to get it sir. Hold on.
I went into lockup to get it, at this point really starting to lose my patience with this asshole.
And low and behold, the item isn't in stock. I double and triple checked, then grabbed a hand scanner to check the inventory, because I did not want this guy blowing up on me. Nope, we don't have any. ZERO on hand in the system. I go out to break the bad news to him and find him arguing with the cashier about another coupon! She (the cashier) looked like she wanted to curl up in a ball and die (mainly because of the guy's BO I lately found out).
Me: Sir, unfortunately I do not have this item, but-
SC: Well then you'll give me a raincheck?
Me: We don't issue rainchecks sir, but-
SC: If I can't get that then I don't need any of this!!!!
Me:..........
What the fuck!!!! Two minutes ago you didn't even have your shit together enough to know what the damn thing is. Now your "needing" the other items revolves around getting this free item? Just what the hell is your problem!?!?
SC: What are you going to do?
Me: I can try to order this for you.
SC: Fine. You will have it shipped to my house!!
Me: That's fine. *hops onto .com Kiosk to start the order*
Then when I looked up, he was gone!
Me: Where'd he go?!
Cashier: That way. He stinks!!
Me: Yeah I know.......
I decided to print out the rebate forms for the Base Station so as to nip that potential problem in the bud. Eventually he wandered back over.
SC: You ordered it?
Me: Not yet sir, I need your name and address first.
SC: This *thrusts his Rewards Check in my face*
Me: OK. *checks address, sees it's in Massachusetts* Sir, if you want me to ship this directly to you, then I'll need to add 5% sales tax to this item.
SC: NO!!!!!! I'm buying it HERE!!!!!! *gesticulates wildly* [here being New Hampshire, no sales tax in NH)
Me: Sir, Massachusetts state law requires that all items shipped there be charged 5% sales tax.
SC: NO!!!!!! There is NO TAX here!!!!!!!
At this point my face is flushing with anger.
Me: Sir, you are having the item delivered. I am REQUIRED to charge sales tax.
SC: WHAT TAX?!?!?!? This is FREE!!!!!!!
Alright, listen fuckface. You are wrong. And I am not going to budge on this.
Me: Sir, it's free after rebate. You are still PAYING for it at the register, therefore there IS tax on it. "Free" does NOT include sales tax. If this were free instantly, then there would be no tax, but it is NOT.
SC: And how much will yo be charging me for that?!
Me: $6.25.
SC:...........................
I placed the order and handed the paperwork to the cashier, she rang it in, then I PERSONALLY pressed "Modify Item - Item Tax Change" and added 5% tax to the Base Station
SC: The printer?
Me: it's right here sir......*to the cashier* OK, the coupon codes you need are on-
SC: Why are you bringing me Canon when it say here HP 1 3 4 1. *points to flyer*
Me: What's that? *look at flyer: curses inwardly* Oh, I grabbed the wrong printer. I'll just get the right one.
*switches printers*
Then there was a problem with the price of the Base Station. The amount of the instant coupon and the rebates didn't add up. I had to involve the GM to figure out what was going on. Turned out we needed to manually lower the price by $45 since it was rung in as an order, not an on hand item.
SC: And the printer?
Me: It's right here.
SC: It says here "free printer and Sony location-free base station with the purchase of any laptop."
Steve (GM): Dave1982, that's the 1341?
Me: Yes it is. Right here *points*
Steve: Yeah, we got that right here sir.
SC: No, the Canon.
Me: You told me you didn't want the Canon!
Steve: We got you the HP 1341, which it says here *points to flyer* comes with this laptop.
SC: No, look. It says down here *points to the laptop in the ad* that the laptop comes with the HP 1341. Then up here it says free printer and sony location-free base station with the purchase of any laptop. So I should get the Canon as well.
Me (all but screaming): You don't get TWO free printers!
Steve: Sir, this is an HP laptop, and it comes with a free HP printer. The Canon is for Acer and Toshiba laptops.
SC: That's not what it says here!
OK, for the record, the part of the flyer he was referencing did NOT specify any particular printer. The printer was specified down below in the listing for the laptop. IN other words, the HP one, not the Canon one. Sure as hell it didn't mean you get TWo free printers, plus a free $200 network device.
He then proceeded to argue with the GM for a full five minutes before eventually paying and leaving. I apologized to Steve for interrupting him while he was dealing with this guy, then we all commiserated about how we would have preferred to just punch the guy.
I don't know what he did prior to my first encounter with him, but he REALLY had the department lead tweaking. She was more angry than I was!
Even now, just typing this up has caused my blood pressure to go up and my brain to hurt.
Thankfully, I now have a day off to recuperate.
(By the way, bonus points for whoever can correctly guess what I'm referencing in my thread title)
I used to get these guys in at Kinko's all the freaking time. Made me want to open a vein with a staple remover. (Theirs or mine, at that point, no real preference.)
OK! I confess!! I cheated!!!!! 
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