Notable SC's in your area?

[Quickdraw]

Are there certain individuals where you work who are just so consistently odd or sucky to you and others, they burn themselves into your memory...here's a few from my area, who I have special names for.

"Ellie Mae". Ellie Mae is a fat, disheveled looking middle aged woman with a LOUD voice, complete with a garbled southern accent. She's currently in one of those motorized carts for some reason, and other people help her with the shopping. When she wants to know where something is, she'll shout her question to a cashier about 10 feet away, who is still attending to other customers (She also shouts at close range, no matter what her mood). If she has gift cards, she will come through the lanes repeatedly until she has used up every last cent on them. And often when she needs money to pay for an order, she'll go over to the bank behind the registers, forcing you and other customers to wait. Even the people who help her shop can't help but make snide remarks about her when her back is turned.

"Special Ed" This older fellow was often seen wearing a helmet-like covering over his head when I first saw him, thus reminding me of the Crank Yankers character I named him after. He's very uptight about how you bag his groceries, and after payment he'll often spend up to five minutes behind you, re-arranging everything to his liking, in spite of what you do.

The "Marl-BO-ro" man. This guy actually works at an organic grocery nearby, and I'm surprised he's still got a job there. He speaks in a nasally, almost stereotypical NY accent, has a constantly excitable attitude, and has no qualms about muttering profanity in the line. He gets his name, because EVERY TIME he comes to the register, he asks for "a pack of Marl-BO-ro light 100s in the box."

[BookstoreEscapee]

Something incongruous about a guy who works for an organic grocery and smokes...

Store1 has John M., aka John D., aka a couple other names (once aka Tim, which was my friend's name who was not allowing him to place an order). He would order stuff and never buy it. He would pick it up and then sit in the store somewhere, then often ask to put it back on hold. Then he would call a week later and ask to extend the hold. He was banned from placing orders, hence the aliases (he only ordered over the phone and counted on getting new people who didn't recognize his voice). The first time I encountered him, early in my tenure there, he picked up his books he had ordered, and reached over the counter and tried to take them before I could get the order sheet off. He tried to take the sheet and luckily my manager was nearby and grabbed it back and told him we needed it. I looked at it and in the notes section it said "This guy is insane. Literally." Later I was walking to the back with my till and he was sitting in a chair in the middle of an aisle in New Age, and I saw him and cut down 2 aisles before where he was, and as I passed behind him on the other end he turned and watched me. Creepy. We think he lived in some kind of halfway house for mental patients. One time he came for a John Edward signing ('psychic' guy) and bought one of his paperbacks with a $50 bill (I rang him up). A short time later he came back to me and returned it, and wanted his $50 bill back (he gave me back the change from the original transaction). Luckily I hadn't done a cash pickup yet because I really didn't want to have to tell him I didn't have it anymore.

Store2 has Mullet Man. He's since shaved his head but he still has the name. He's partial to too-tight, shiny t-shirts and apparently thinks he's hot. He's a jerk who calls women "babe" and "honey" and whatnot.

Store2 also has The Car Magazine Kid. He's probably late teens, I think a tad "slow," and his mom apparently drops him off at the store to get rid of him for a while. He likes to look at car magazines, but then brings the racier ones to the customer service desk to complain to anyone who will listen that they are "porn" and shouldn't be on the shelves where little kids can see them. [Now, the real porn (Playboy, Penthouse) are kept behind the register and you have to pay for it before you can take it (IOW, no looking at it in the store). Cuts down on sales but also cuts down on finding them in the mens room, the kids department, or tucked between books in the religion section.] The car magazines have girls in teeny bikinis, yes, but all the naughty bits are covered (technically). All the employees, of course, tell him there's nothing we can do about it; we don't decide placement of the magazines, corporate decides what goes where, and what we carry (we have very little say at the store level in what we stock in magazines). We try to be polite. Finally he got the manager (who rocks) who told him that if he didn't like it then stop looking at them or call corporate and complain to them. She told him in no uncertain terms that there's nothing we can do about it and to stop pestering the employees because they have work to do. Did I mention she rocks?

[Aldous]

The Double Whopper Guy: Infamous in our store, the stories are many, and like tradition to tell to the new guys. DWG comes in on Sundays, at 11 a.m. No sooner, no later, 11 on the dot. He's got a few srews loose up top. He orders 3 double whoppers, extra extra mayo, 2 triples extra extra mayo, a king fry, large onion ring, and 3 chilis. He speaks to his chili as he eats it. He also will use the entire ketchup dispenser, all 10 gallons will be gone when he's done. He also throws a fit if his food takes too long, and we've had to call the police once before. We don't ban him because he basically fills the entire lunch quota for sunday on his own. He's the only customer that we will bend over backwards for, because we don't need him attacking customers like he did at the other BK that he was banned from, and now frequents ours. He's a handful, usually polite enough, just very creepy.

[protege]

Since I don't deal with customers...here are a couple I sometimes run into while shopping, at school, or whatever.

John....is an older guy who used to hang out at the hobby shop. Every time I'd go in there, he was usually leaning on the counter, boring to tears everybody within a 2-aisle radius. He's a nice guy, and knows quite a bit about the Pennsylvania Railroad's steam locomotives, but he's annoying as hell. He will chat with anyone he sees. Most people will do the "Yes, OK, OK," thing and ignore him. Doesn't shut him up though. Even though he usually smells like shit, he's tolerated by most customers, but the owner can't stand him. I haven't been seen in there for months, so maybe he took the hint

"The guy with the planes" was a definite whackjob. He was probably 20-25 then. I used to see him all over the place when I was in college. Usually seen in the town's business district. How did he get his name? Well, as I was walking back to class one afternoon, I saw him coming up the street with a toy plane in each hand. That didn't prepare me for what I saw a few nights later... My then-gf and I were out for a walk one night, when we went past his house, about a block or two from campus. Let me tell you, his front porch looked like a freaking airport! Literally *hundreds* of planes, hangars, and at least 2-3 control towers! I like my toys too, but this was well past that

"Carla the chatter." She was truly a sad case. She'd spend all day in the computer labs, from about 8am until closing at night. I never had a problem with her--she was always nice to me when I was working. She never went to class. Instead, she spent all day surfing the web and chatting. Needless to say, she didn't graduate, which was unfortunate.

[ShinyGreenApple]

From my Wal-Mart days, the whole front end knew to look out for The Comp Queen. Comp queen would look for the newer cashiers, and give them the 'this is x dollars at x store' spiel, always making up ridiculous prices. Now, for most customers, we would simply take them at their word that they could get chicken wings for 99 cents a pound at the competition, but we would always make this lady produce an add for her crap, because frankly we knew she was full of it. She got irritable with the CSM's for backing us up and often left without her groceries. One of our older cashiers was walking to the break room one day and saw none other than the Queen herself sitting down, filling out an application

Cashier made a beeline for the personnel office and filled them in on the situation. They laughed and I'm pretty sure they either threw out or marked that particular app.

Crazy Lady. Not original, I know, but she was nuts. Always came through my line and asked "How much are ya'll's cigarettes?" And would get pissed when I told her it depended entirely on what brand you wanted and whether it was pack/carton/five pack. Another time, she went to the service desk to return some cheese. (wtf? Who returns cheese?) They did the return, and refunded the amount to her EBT card. She then went to the frozen food section, got a carton of ice cream that was the exact same price as the cheese she returned, and then tried to tell the cashier she didn't need to be charged for it. Argument with CSM ensued.

Winchester Man. Anyone who ever ran the smoke lane hated this guy. Every week, he would come in and as how much our Winchester cigars were. (Shouldn't you know by now? You buy them at least twice a week ><) Get pissed off because they were in fact the same price as last time and not cheaper, ask me to ring up half a dozen of them or so, then have me void some off because he hadn't brought enough money or thought they were too much.

I don't have anything against smokers, but people like this who were such damn picky penny pinchers about paying for their smokes made me wish they'd put five in their mouth, one up each nostril, and give 'em a light. Speed up the process, you know

[Boozy]

Store2 has Mullet Man. He's since shaved his head but he still has the name. He's partial to too-tight, shiny t-shirts and apparently thinks he's hot. He's a jerk who calls women "babe" and "honey" and whatnot.

What is it about mullets that make the man sporting one think he's so damn appealing to women?

I actually have several customers with mullets who always hit on me. They really think their hair is a babe-magnet. One always has a comb sticking out of the back pocket of his too-tight jeans.

After he leaves, my manager and I always turn to each other and say something like, "Ooh baby, can't get enough of the mullet. SO SEXY. I sure wish my husband could have hair like that."

Fun fact: Here in Canada, a mullet is sometimes referred to as a Hockey Haircut, allowing men to avoid helmet head due to the short length on top, while still enjoying the feel of flowing tresses out the back. This hasn't been considered attractive by women since about 1989 (if ever) but some men don't seem to get it.

/mullet rant

[blas]

I think mullets scream white trash and "I still live in 1988!"

I guess pertaining to this thread, at the gas station we had Crazy John. I had a whole thread about him. He is insane, partially because of drugs and also because of some sort of mental illness he suffers. He was kicked out of nearly every establishment in town.

[Catwoman2965]

We had one, that I thought we were rid of, but a few weeks back, there she was! In my store, we have a number of regular customers. One lady in particular, who comes in on a regular basis, and while a tad needy, is really very nice. Her friend, however, is a whole other ball of wax - not mean, but just obnoxious.

We have chairs throughout the store, and these two ladies used to come in a lot together when i first started, and customer #1 still does, but #2 has been absent for a while. Customer #1 would shop, and customer #2 would settle herself into a chair, and have very long, loud conversations on her phone. But hadn't seen her in quite a while, and had forgotten about her.

So a few weeks ago, on a Saturday, I hear this voice, loud and clear; she was back, yapping away on her phone. You can hear her literally all over the store. I had to laugh when she came in, she acts like she owns the place.

We have another one, who is also kind of strange. She'll come in, and look around, and if she knows the manager, she will strike up a conversation, and will not shut up! and its alwasy the last hour, when the managers are trying to get things going so we can all get out at a decent hour. But the funny thing is, if she doesn't see anyone she knows, manager or associate, she will make a loop through the store, and leave. She favors one manager in particular, so if i see her, and that manager is on, and in the back, i'll go back and tell her not to come out yet! because we KNOW she won't get anything done!

[FenigDurak]

This thread saved me from starting a new one of my own! Hooray!

At the gift shop, I have:
Maintenance Man He comes in when there isn't anyone else around and I wish I had the ability to sink into the floor. There isn't anything in particular that makes him sucky, just mildly creepy and obnoxious. He's short, chubby, kinda greasy, and buys a drink, opens it, slurps from it, and then asks me "How's your life, girl?" I don't know this guy beyond his affinity for Red Bull, so I dont' care to tell him about my life. I answer "Fine" and go into the back to restock things until I hear him leave.

Radiology Man This guy is likewise chubby, but not as short. He's obviously intelligent, but he's abrasive and rude. He used to come in at least 3 times a day, would be very abrupt, talk down to myself and to K, but recently he hasn't been seen. Early last week we received a shipment of cracker sandwhiches that had ants in them. When we discovered the ants in the cheese sandwhiches, we pulled the box. Radiology Man found ants in the peanut butter crackers as well and brought them back. I took the crackers, showed my boss, and was about to pull the box of peanut butter sandwhiches as well when RM started yelling "Y'all knew about this and still put this sh*t on the sales floor?! This is ridiculous!"
He came back today, bought nothing, and said on his way out "I'm still mad at y'all." Fine, whatever guy.

Lotion Lady Still comes in every day and uses the Goat's Milk Lotion sample bottle. Two big pumps, and stands at the display until it's sufficiently rubbed into her hands, arms, face and neck.

[Ringtail Z28]

I've already made posts about Boba Fatt and OBB but there are always seem to be more that come to mind.

Blue Hat Lady. A disgusting tweeker and frequent purse snatcher. Wore what was once a blue beret but is stained yellow and brown from filth.

Mike the Undercover Parking Enforcement Officer. Another local tweeker. Would charge people money to park in the lot claiming he was a parking enforcement officer, even though he was obviously a homeless drug addict. As bizzare as it may sound, his scam actually worked.

El Dopo When I worked at Wal-Mart this guy would come in minutes before closing asking for the newest Hot Wheels. Every night he did this, even though I would always explain to him that they're restocked overnight. He apparently has only one shirt, a brown T-shirt that may have once been white.

[justZu]

The Double Whopper Guy

Did he actually eat all of the stuff he ordered? That's just...unfathomable.


At the ballpark we have a few regulars who are not necessarily sucky, but just very weird.

Mr Spankypants: I haven't seen him this year, but last year he was a regular with his tiny shorty OP shorts. I'm guessing he was an exhibitionist. Personally, I didn't care what he wore - he was always nice to everyone.

Baseball Suitcase Guy: Another not sucky, just weird guy. Likes to talk to cashiers about the great deals he makes buying collectibles. He claims to have bought a ball autographed by Babe Ruth at a flea market for $25, he thinks he put one over on a clueless seller - I think its probably quite the opposite. He also likes to brag about the great deal he made on a suitcase full of autographed baseballs...um, no.

Dented Head: Another guy I kinda feel sorry for. He has a giant dent in his head and I'm pretty sure he has some amount of brain damage. He stares at people and that's creepy. Once he stared at me and he had his face painted like a baseball - please go away. However, he comes to the games with a woman and a kid. She is weird and usually dirty, and the kid constantly begs for free food from the stand. Once they came by after a game and asked if they could have all of the leftover food. Seriously, if you have enough money to come to all the games, save some of the money for food. Also take a shower.

[Aldous]

In a short answer, yes he ate everything. The long answer, sometimes he came up for seconds and thirds, and that's how he was able to do the entire quota by himself. Seconds and Thirds were no smaller than the first.

[Imogene]

At Chesterfield, we had a customer who would come in every week, ask to see the list of upcoming titles for reserve, reserve ten at a time, have no problem dropping the fifty to do so, and would always, and I do mean ALWAYS, snatch the reserve sheets from the computer where the orders were taken, no matter that his arms were a bit short to reach them around the back of the monitor!
Two days later, regular as clockwork (or a well-cleansed colon, I suppose) He'd come tromping right back into the store, look around a few minutes, then come up and cancel most to all of the reservations he'd just done, citing, absolutely every time, "The economy's bad."
You didn't seem to think so two days ago, Jeff. (Holy crap, that's not his name, but I do remember it now, so deep was my loathing for him!)
Eventually, the SM banned him from Chesterfield, so he eventually started going to West County to get his not-actually-reserves. About a month later, SM followed him out to that store, and promptly banned him there as well.

[ArenaBoy]

Whiskeyclone had reserved lots for fans so we had some notables.

Expensive Dinner Man: A prick who gave me a lot of hell and wanted to bet an expensive dinner.

Big Eyedoctor Owner: This guy owns a chain of glasses stores in Michigan and some other states. He's so flashy that he's blinding.

Junker car: This was a woman with two kids who had a suite. She was nice but she drove a beat-up Chevy Cavalier.

[Aldous]

I forgot about the most famous of all of our SCs...
GRANDMA This woman was the caretaker of that child that called me a n*****. I'm sure you all remember that kid. This lady came to our drive-thru every night, yelled at us when the order she wanted took too long, and always talked down to us. Her kids were hellish too. After awhile we were able to tell it was her just from the noise her car made, or what the headlights looked like. And we all dreaded it when she came, and we'd rock-paper-scissors to see who got stuck with her. That or the n00b got her, matters who was working.