Why No One Picked Up The Phones

[Aldous]

We had one customer who constanly called our place for menial crap. Every day. Multiple times a day. No one would answer the phone. We were scared to answer the phone because you couldn't get this guy off the line. Here's a great example

AH: Me
FT: F***tard

AH: Thank you for calling Tyranical Meat Market, Aldous speaking, how may I help you?
FT: Hi my name is F***tard, and I'd like to file a complaint
AH: (Here goes 10 minutes of my life) Okay sir.
FT: First off, the cheese wasn't melted correctly, the burger was too well-done, my soda had too much fizz, my fries didn't have enough salt on them, your employee took too long, etc. etc. etc.
AH: Okay sir, I can go get my manager, who can give you a discount the next time you come in
FT: Your bathroom smelt, your floor was too brown (Not kidding) it was too noisy, the drive-thru had too many cars, etc. etc.
AH: Okay we can compensate you for some of your problems would you like to--
FT: *click*

Manager: Who was it?
AH: Guess. Just take a guess.
Manager: Hung up in the middle of your sentence?
AH: Yeah. It's like he complains for fun or something. He doesn't want us to do anything but listen to his crap.

[Sliceanddice]

i would pick up the phone and the moment he said his name put it up high somewhere and wait a couple minutes... should be fun

[MoonChild2007]

Is it possible to just block his number cause that is harassment.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

Restraining order...but corporate is too cowardly to pull such a dastardly move.

Next time, ask him if it's always so bad, why does he keep eating there?

[allniter]

Manager: Who was it?
AH: Guess. Just take a guess.
Manager: Hung up in the middle of your sentence?
AH: Yeah. It's like he complains for fun or something. He doesn't want us to do anything but listen to his crap.

At my job, we have a method to get them to stop calling.

Whenever we get some jackass who repeatedly calls in even after we've done all we can for them, we start hitting the mute button on our phone.

That's it, that's all it takes.

We then sit back and grab a snack. This way, they don't get a dial tone and think we're still there (which technically we are but if we don't say anything, are we really on the line? Already cut off from civilization in his cubicle, if a customer service agent falls over, does he make a sound?)

What inevitably happens is that after droning on for awhile they eventually stop and go "hello, hello?" into the phone, while we laugh at their own foolishness. They call back sure but the next person does the same thing and eventually they get the hint. If they call back and just leave silence on the line, we hang up on them. We're getting paid for this time, they're not so whatever, let em try.

[Earl]

At my work if we keep getting pranks, we just leave the phone off the hook. I'd do the same here.

[queenbb]

i have had werid calls too, at a job that i had a while back, i worked at a state run drug and alcohol rehab.

this woman started to call us for some reason.

me- yah you can guess frusterated with the whole situatoin as this was a normal occuring phone call from this woman for about 2 weeks straight and a few times a day
pb- psycho bitch, who ended up getting a nice visit from a few police over this whole thing.

me- thank you for calling mhs nccfc, how may i help you

pb- i want to talk to L and bb its all their fault and now i want my life back its their fault im no longer a virgin and i need to be a virgin, my whole life sucks they made me do it, and now i want it back i want it back i want it back i want it back it its all L and bb's fault they need to give me back my virginity.

me- (wtf and ) um this is bb i dont quite under..

pb- its your fault its your fault its your fault

me- um let me put you on hold (uncontrolable laughter, gets L who is a counslor, to ask her who this person is and why is she saying its my fault she is no longer a virgin.)
please hold while i transfer you

pb- its L's and bb's fault i want to talk to...

now on hold still going wtf was that all about

a bit later, L comes to me and asks me what it was all about i had no clue and apparently she didnt know either.

pb calls again and T answers the phone and instantly he says

um its for you, and puts her on hold and laughs uncontrolably.

post script about this situation, the lady would call several different mental heath type facilities and do the same thing, and all of them ended up putting out restraining orders against her, and she would find a new place to call and do the same thing, we ended up sending our commuinty officer (who was a police officer assigined to drug court and would take care of the clients) he went out and ended up having to put her in cuffs and sending her to a mandated mental hospital hold.

[air914]

Hmm I worked at a place where this one guy would call and you could not get him off the phone - he wasn't nasty, he just always wanted to tell you his life story - what he ate that day, etc. etc. He was usually calling to ask about a product - or to place an order for a product - but then would just go on and on and on and on about nothing. I HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO that I couldn't do w/ him on the phone droning on and on. And of course, b/c he was a good customer, we didn't want to offend him - but he was causing a lot of problems b/c we couldn't get our work done...

Maybe there needs to be a "lonely hearts" phone number for lonely people to call and just talk to someone. You could charge $5 a call for the first 20 minutes or whatever and then all the lonely people, or the people who have nothing better to do than complain - not b/c they want anything, but just b/c they want to talk to someone and have them say "yeah you got treated badly"..... they could call this line and just chat w/ someone. Hmm maybe I have a multimillion dollar idea here Of course, I'm not sure how you would staff a call center like that.... regular call centers have enough loonies - a call center w/ that premise would certainly attract all the loonies and might drive phone reps to quit after a day.......

[Becks]

Next time, ask him if it's always so bad, why does he keep eating there?

Because the cups are just the right size for his hands?

[Rapscallion]

Because the cups are just the right size for his hands?

So many straight lines, so many mods to spank me if I answer them all...

Rapscallion

[Tria]

Of course, I'm not sure how you would staff a call center like that.... regular call centers have enough loonies - a call center w/ that premise would certainly attract all the loonies and might drive phone reps to quit after a day.......

Well, considering that I sometimes want someone to talk to.... I'd work for you, will you cover moving expenses?

[MystyGlyttyr]

Maybe there needs to be a "lonely hearts" phone number for lonely people to call and just talk to someone. You could charge $5 a call for the first 20 minutes or whatever and then all the lonely people, or the people who have nothing better to do than complain - not b/c they want anything, but just b/c they want to talk to someone and have them say "yeah you got treated badly"..... they could call this line and just chat w/ someone. Hmm maybe I have a multimillion dollar idea here Of course, I'm not sure how you would staff a call center like that.... regular call centers have enough loonies - a call center w/ that premise would certainly attract all the loonies and might drive phone reps to quit after a day.......

I'd do it. Honestly, all you have to do is go "Mm-hmm....yeah....aw, yeah, that's too bad....yeah...I hear ya..." while you're surfing online. That's how I handle the ones who call me.

[Becks]

So many straight lines, so many mods to spank me if I answer them all...

Would you believe that I planned it that way?

[Retail Associate]

There's this insane, old woman who calls every day, sometimes several times a day, to ask if we have a specific type of shirt in size 4X. Then, she asks where the women's clothing dept is located in the store. Which check lane that particular item is across from...just the most insane questions over and over and over again.

Now, I hang up on her as soon as I hear her voice.

[Rapscallion]

Would you believe that I planned it that way?

Would you believe I'm not complaining?

Rapscallion