Kissy kissy kissy *gag*

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Man: Hi! I want to put minutes on my phone.
Girl in background: *giggle giggle giggle* Gimme a kiss baaaabeeee!
Man: *kissy kissy so loud I can hear it*
Me: blah blah blah (trying to say my scripts and get this call over with)
Man: Yes, my last name is spelled d-o-r-k-o.
Girl in background: *giggle giggle shriek* Not in public, you naughty boy!!! *kissy kissy kissy sounds again*

I hit mute and making retching noises and gestures until my neighbor falls out of her seat laughing.

__________________________________________________ _____________

British man: Can I place an order with a UK card? The last girl spoke to didn't know what she was doing.
Me: yes, we accept international cards.
British man: Honey, it says they DO take UK cards!
Me: what's the address for the card? *I take it, enter it in correctly, the order goes thru immediately.*
British man: Can I get your extension? You seem to have a brain, unlike some of your fellow employees.

not as long as I'm an 'it', you tea swilling cretin. Now excuse me while I urinate on the wall behind me, as a proper 'it' is supposed to do.

__________________________________________________ __________

Me: Can I have your phone number please?
Lady: 123-4567.
Me: and what is the area code?
Lady: area code?
Me: Yes, the area code?
Lady: do all phones have area codes? I'm too old to deal with all this newfangled electronic stuff.

Hmmm, yes I see what you mean. Perhaps you should go back to the ol' cup and string if it's that difficult for you.
__________________________________________________ _____________

note: this is a different cell company then the call for the Brit up there.

Me: I'm sorry we do not accept visa or MC issued outside of the U S. DO you have another form of payment? Amex? Discover?
Man: I have a citibank card.
Me: Ok, let's try that. *order pends. I call bank number, they tell me I need to call Singapore as it was actually issued there.* Sir, was this card issued in Singapore?
Man: yes.
Me: *sigh* I'm sorry,sir, we do not accept Visa or MC issued outside of the U S.
Man: But it's a Citibank card.
Me: Yes, but it was issued in Singapore.
Man: But it's a Citibank card.
Me: *gritting teeth* yes, a Citibank card issued in Singapore.
Man: But Citibank is an American company.
Me: Perhaps, but the card was issued in Singapore, we cannot accept it.
Man: but it's a Citibank card.
*Lather, rinse, repeat*

Sir, do you understand the meaning of the term 'postal'? Believe me, you don't wanna go there. I have your name and and address.
__________________________________________________ _____________

Me: Thank you for ca----
Someone on other end: AAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: .....
Someone on other end: I JUST WANT MY MINUTES!!!!! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
Me: .....
Someone on other end: Please God, why do you make me suffer like this?!!!! WHY?!!! GAHHHHH!!!!! *sob sob throat catch* GRRRRRR!!!!! *loud disconnect*

I advise you to seek help for your affliction. good day.

[Dreamstalker]

Man: Hi! I want to put minutes on my phone.
Girl in background: *giggle giggle giggle* Gimme a kiss baaaabeeee!
Man: *kissy kissy so loud I can hear it*
Me: blah blah blah (trying to say my scripts and get this call over with)
Man: Yes, my last name is spelled d-o-r-k-o.
Girl in background: *giggle giggle shriek* Not in public, you naughty boy!!! *kissy kissy kissy sounds again*

Gaaah, I hate phone PDAs. It seems I've been subjected to more and more of those in stores and on the subway platform/train. What's with people?!

[Kara]

British man: Honey, it says they DO take UK cards!

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!

[MinimaMagistra]

Someone on other end: I JUST WANT MY MINUTES!!!!! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
Me: .....
Someone on other end: Please God, why do you make me suffer like this?!!!! WHY?!!! GAHHHHH!!!!! *sob sob throat catch* GRRRRRR!!!!! *loud disconnect*

Frankly, that sounds like a prank caller. Hell, it could've been one of your co-workers, finally snapping after one friggin' phone call too many. No-one knows.

[Zinjadu]

Kissy-kissy in public

Gah! I've seen way too much of that at my till.

The worst one was a guy in army uniform with his girlfriend. She was hugging him, rubbing up against him and sticking her tongue down his throat. Yes, she really had her tongue going - she's talented.

I really don't need to see that. If you're saying 'goodbye' or 'hello' to him, do it elsewhere, not at the S_____ checkout at 7pm. Get control of yourselves before I bring out my bottle of cleaner and hose you down!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Are you a cousin to the Addams family?

[Becks]

Me: Thank you for ca----
Someone on other end: AAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: .....
Someone on other end: I JUST WANT MY MINUTES!!!!! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
Me: .....
Someone on other end: Please God, why do you make me suffer like this?!!!! WHY?!!! GAHHHHH!!!!! *sob sob throat catch* GRRRRRR!!!!! *loud disconnect*

I've had days like the person on the other end of the line. However, I didn't lose it while ON THE PHONE.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Are you a cousin to the Addams family?

I could be, I've nearly got the hair for it.

[sms001]

Lady: do all phones have area codes? I'm too old to deal with all this newfangled electronic stuff.
Hmmm, yes I see what you mean. Perhaps you should go back to the ol' cup and string if it's that difficult for you.

mmmmmm...... I'm starting to get a little soft keeping up with technology myself, but since we've had area codes for FIFTY years now, you would thing she'd start to adjust. I'm so used to ten (or eleven) digit dialing that it really threw me for a loop when I moved and had to memorize what is and isn't polled here. Some calls within my area code go through with ten, others you have to dial just the seven.

[Bella_Vixen]

Me: Thank you for ca----
Someone on other end: AAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: .....
Someone on other end: I JUST WANT MY MINUTES!!!!! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
Me: .....
Someone on other end: Please God, why do you make me suffer like this?!!!! WHY?!!! GAHHHHH!!!!! *sob sob throat catch* GRRRRRR!!!!! *loud disconnect*

This was me last week on the phone with Tracfone.

When I registered my phone, I was eligible for 20 free minutes when I added more. Well, when I added more, my free 20 weren't given to me. I emailed them, and they gave me a code that was actually all the digits for pi. Anyways, the code didn't work, so I called.

I spent over half an hour trying to explain to some woman about it, and she straight out called me a liar. After numerous chats with her supervisor, and being put on hold a number of times, the call was dropped.

I immediately called back, and got a nice gentleman who deserved better then having to deal with me. He asked for all the info that the other chick supposedly just entered into the computer, and I started crying. I composed myself, and he gotme my minutes. Took less then 5 minutes all together with him. I apologized profusely AND emailed about his stellar service.

[Geek King]

. I emailed them, and they gave me a code that was actually all the digits for pi. .

Wow...and to think we're wasting supercomputers trying to find more digits for pi. All this time you just needed the right e-mail addy.


<sorry, couldn't help myself.>

[Jazz]

Me: I'm sorry we do not accept visa or MC issued outside of the U S. DO you have another form of payment? Amex? Discover?
Man: I have a citibank card.
Me: Ok, let's try that. *order pends. I call bank number, they tell me I need to call Singapore as it was actually issued there.* Sir, was this card issued in Singapore?
Man: yes.
Me: *sigh* I'm sorry,sir, we do not accept Visa or MC issued outside of the U S.
Man: But it's a Citibank card.
Me: Yes, but it was issued in Singapore.
Man: But it's a Citibank card.
Me: *gritting teeth* yes, a Citibank card issued in Singapore.
Man: But Citibank is an American company.
Me: Perhaps, but the card was issued in Singapore, we cannot accept it.
Man: but it's a Citibank card.
*Lather, rinse, repeat*

Sir, do you understand the meaning of the term 'postal'? Believe me, you don't wanna go there. I have your name and and address.

Oh yeah, this sounds familiar. I get this alot. Customer who really don't understand when you say you don't take something. I swear, they really need to listen to what we are saying. I have a feeling these customers only hear what they want to hear.

[Imogene]

Are you a cousin to the Addams family?

That particular cousin would be spelled 'Itt', not 'It', just for future reference.