SKREEE~! now with BONUS AUDIO!

[Ree]

The audio wasn't that clear, what was happening?

From what I heard, I think the guy was ranting and swearing, and Gravekeeper said, out loud and not in his head, a totally random smartass comment, "Why yes, wafflecones are awesome" and it pissed the ranting lunatic off even more.

[BookstoreEscapee]

From what I heard, I think the guy was ranting and swearing, and Gravekeeper said, out loud and not in his head, a totally random smartass comment, "Why yes, wafflecones are awesome" and it pissed the ranting lunatic off even more.

Frankly I'm not convinced the ranting lunatic even heard what he said...

[Reyneth]

Perhaps he was just erased from the time space continuum in a fluke paradox. Perhaps in the future we have already devised time travel and agents from the future are currently infiltrating the past for historical perhaps. Perhaps Agent Smith made a slight miscalculation and materialized in 1982 right on the hood of Sgt Whatshisname's parents car right before they were about to catalogue each other's Pokemon. Thus garnering his mom enough time to sober up and realize what she almost slept with.

You DO read Jasper Fforde, right? Please tell me you do. The pithy commentary, way with words, and insane imagination.......
eta I love the ChonoGuard in general - until the newest book. Now I'm a little disappointed and a little huh? about them. Shame.

Added: Audio Clip! For one brief second my brain to mouth filter failed...

Ok now, I don't remember other Bonus Audio Clips! but that sounded oddly like a friend of mine (who is incredibly hot in his own way but I didn't just say that! shhh). Voice, timing - and again back to that sense of humor.

Hmmmm. Becky, I think there's one more in your club.

What, nobody got the car locked in the Parkade?

[JustaCashier]

In regards to the first story, it would have been a sad irony if the Property Management Co would have been one of GK's clients as well, and would have had to deal with the same SC all over again.

Mike

[Becks]

Wait, what's that? Did you hear an echo? Oh, no, no, sorry, its just the sound of my raw hatred cocooning itself in the back of my mind so it can evolve into its next stage of evolution. One day, I hope, it'll grow too big for my skull. I'll be stuck with some dumbass in front of me in line at 7/11 and it'll just burst out of my forehead and launch itself at the guy's face. As I lay on the floor, bleeding to death, the sweet serenade of it trying to pull your tongue out through your eye socket will accompany me to next world.

Can I be there to watch...and then try to revive you?

Thank god for days off.. -.-

Says you. No GK posts to read.

Hmmmm. Becky, I think there's one more in your club.

The more the merrier. But remember, I claimed him first.

[Reyneth]

The more the merrier. But remember, I claimed him first.

But judging by the voice, I know his undiscovered long-lost twin! Doesn't that count for something?

[Gravekeeper]

That guy sounds like he could either be on meth or off his meds - just not sure which

He calls 2-5 times a week, every week, for the past 2 years. Just to tell us that. The traitorous part is new because he recently found out we're not actually American even though we answer for American government agencies.

I know it would spoil a lot of fun, but it's time you caved on this one Gravekeeper - I've seen it so often I cry FOR you now Get the phone number for the cab company(s) that must be close to the numbers for your client(s) and just start giving it to 'em. They won't have pencils, they won't know you are doing them a favor, but at least you can redirect the flow of funny for yourself a little bit.

To be honest they DID add a taxi number to the account that always occurs on because it happens so much. But I refuse to reward stupidity. >.>

Frankly I'm not convinced the ranting lunatic even heard what he said...

Oh he heard. Usually he only does his first stanza and hangs up before he thinks we can trace his number or something. If we can get him to react, we win. ^^
I had him call me a "gay homo fag fudge packer" for 3 minutes straight once.

You DO read Jasper Fforde, right? Please tell me you do.

I don't actually, should I be?

In regards to the first story, it would have been a sad irony if the Property Management Co would have been one of GK's clients as well, and would have had to deal with the same SC all over again.

I was actually fearing just that since we have 15 or so property management companies. But I was lucky as I never heard from her again.

2: ... now I mean no offense by this, but all this time I thought you were a girl

Sorry to dissappoint. Kara is my female equivalent. -.-

[Ree]

2: ... now I mean no offense by this, but all this time I thought you were a girl

I think you're mixing him up with The Gatekeeper. (The 'original' GK!! )

[Reyneth]

Yes, yes, you should be reading Jasper Fforde. Start here.
http://tinyurl.com/3c2k98
I think you'll be a fan for life.

[Sliceanddice]

Sorry to dissappoint. Kara is my female equivalent. -.-

oh hell yeah *swone*

[Kara]

Me: "I'm not sure, I'm not a plumber. I'm their afterhours operator."

It's-a me, Gravekeeper! Mama mia!

Hell, unless your building has talking mutant turtles in the basement or is a front for Cobra, I don't really give a flying fark now either.

You never know. It would be about as logical as 90% of the other Cobra fronts.

I'll be stuck with some dumbass in front of me in line at 7/11 and it'll just burst out of my forehead and launch itself at the guy's face. As I lay on the floor, bleeding to death, the sweet serenade of it trying to pull your tongue out through your eye socket will accompany me to next world.

Yeah, you'd think it would be fatal, but it doesn't hurt a bit. I don't know how many hate-spawn I have running around out there, but if I could only track them down and train them to obey me, the world would be mine.

SC: "What do you mean he's out of town? How can he be out of town?"

If he were my client, I'd have gone into hiding too.

The vagina needs to come with a child proof cap like Tylenol. If niether of you can figure out how to open it ( Push and turn? ) you aren't getting any relief.

I wonder if you could actually market that? Sounds like a brilliant idea. Anyone who thinks otherwise need only to spend a little time strolling the aisles at Walmart.

Added: Audio Clip! For one brief second my brain to mouth filter failed...

Okay, when I get to work today, I'm putting a sticky note on my monitor that says "Why yes, waffle cones are awesome!" I almost wet myself laughing at that. I am going to use that next time a customer is screaming incoherently.

He calls 2-5 times a week, every week, for the past 2 years.

What line does he call? And what does he actually want?

oh hell yeah *swone*

[Becks]

But judging by the voice, I know his undiscovered long-lost twin! Doesn't that count for something?

Yes, it does.

You have first dips on his long-lost twin.

[DesignFox]

I liked the end of the audio clip, where GK told the guy he'd "get right on that"

[Jadedcarguy]

....and theeeereee's a huge 10 foot banner of a massive black man in his underwear with his groin thrust forward and by God it looked like he was smuggling a cornish game hen.

My brain is now in the sink, soaking in Pine Sol. I don't think it will be the same.

What in god's name were they advertising?

[BookstoreEscapee]

My brain is now in the sink, soaking in Pine Sol. I don't think it will be the same.

What in god's name were they advertising?

I guess we could all use a little after that image...