Yeah, so today is Labor Day, a day where everybody in the free world except for me had the day off, judging by how nutty it was. And we had some fairly interesting customers, which I will tell you about in Gravekeeper/Kara CS style:
We demand...a shrubbery
Clueless guy: Yeah, do you have arbor vitaes yet?
Me: Sorry, we do not.
Clueless Guy: Are you sure? You have plants outside?
Me: All we have out there are fall mums.
Clueless Guy: Huh, Guess I'll have to go to (name of some year-round garden center). I would've bought them here if you had them.
Say, where were you when we had the garden center open through September that one year? Ended in epic fail it did. Another case of somebody requesting something we provided before but ended because the demand was nonexistent.
I will not buy this record, it is scratched
Guy comes in to pick up a futon bunk bed he bought yesterday but had to hold overnight until he could come with his truck to pick it up. When I got it out there we discovered it had a plastic strap missing (the straps hold the box closed but are really kinda useless because they break easily anyway) and a small hole in the box. Obviously this was completely unacceptable and proved that parts had to be missing, even though the smallest piece is about the length of the box and the hardware comes in a smaller box that couldn't possibly have dropped out of the small hole. So I had to drag that one back and try to find a different bunk bed whose box was in more pristine condition.
I hate people like this. Obviously it's different if there's huge gouges and rips in the box, and I avoid delivering those to customers whenever possible, but why does a tiny hole or a scratch that doesn't even go through the box automatically equal defective merchandise?
Appalachian is HOT HOT HOT!
For those of you who were locked in caves this weekend or just don't care about this kind of thing, the football team from Appalachian State University, from Boone NC (population 13,472) defeated the football team from the University of Michigan, whose football stadium holds almost 10 times the population of Boone.
Anyhow, me and my coworker were waiting outside with carryouts for different people when co-worker starts carrying on about the game: "Didn't you see Appalachian State beat Michigan? I watched the last few minutes of the game and when Michigan completed that long pass I was like 'F
, they're going to pull it out!' But then the field goal got blocked and they lost! I loved it. I texted my friend who's a big Michigan fan to poke fun at him after the game. Say, look at the stupid kid wearing a Michigan jersey? I wonder if he even knows they lost, ha ha!"
The only thing that concerned me last Saturday was that my Badgers won
. I like seeing Michigan go down just as much as the next guy, but unless you're an Ohio State fan I fail to see any reason for such exuberance. He was acting like that game was the pinnacle of his existence on the planet, and knowing him I'd bet it was.
Bonus video! Some cheesetastic promotional film Appalachian State University produced, presumably to attract students in as humorously-low budget a way as possible.
And we'll have fun fun fun, now that Mommy took her Heelies away....
While helping out in school supplies today, I noticed a girl on heelies zipping all around the place and darting in and out of aisles. I watched her build a running start (as all children on Heelies tend to do), take off rolling....and lose control and fall flat on her butt.
She started crying and whimpering in pain and her mother told her "You really shouldn't be skating around on those things in the store"
Evidently the message did not sink in, because later I saw this same girl almost roll face-first into a wall.
Everything's relative
Lastly, as I was checking out my soda and candy bar for my lunch break, who should I run into but my aunt and uncle, chatting with one of the employees, who I guess my aunt used to work with. I said to the cashier checking me out "Doesn't it suck when your relatives come here to shop on a holiday and make it necessary for you to work?" Of course I meant this in a joking way. Aunt and uncle thought it was funny at least.
Thank you, you've been a great audience! Enjoy Stryper
We demand...a shrubbery
Clueless guy: Yeah, do you have arbor vitaes yet?
Me: Sorry, we do not.
Clueless Guy: Are you sure? You have plants outside?
Me: All we have out there are fall mums.
Clueless Guy: Huh, Guess I'll have to go to (name of some year-round garden center). I would've bought them here if you had them.
Say, where were you when we had the garden center open through September that one year? Ended in epic fail it did. Another case of somebody requesting something we provided before but ended because the demand was nonexistent.
I will not buy this record, it is scratched
Guy comes in to pick up a futon bunk bed he bought yesterday but had to hold overnight until he could come with his truck to pick it up. When I got it out there we discovered it had a plastic strap missing (the straps hold the box closed but are really kinda useless because they break easily anyway) and a small hole in the box. Obviously this was completely unacceptable and proved that parts had to be missing, even though the smallest piece is about the length of the box and the hardware comes in a smaller box that couldn't possibly have dropped out of the small hole. So I had to drag that one back and try to find a different bunk bed whose box was in more pristine condition.
I hate people like this. Obviously it's different if there's huge gouges and rips in the box, and I avoid delivering those to customers whenever possible, but why does a tiny hole or a scratch that doesn't even go through the box automatically equal defective merchandise?
Appalachian is HOT HOT HOT!
For those of you who were locked in caves this weekend or just don't care about this kind of thing, the football team from Appalachian State University, from Boone NC (population 13,472) defeated the football team from the University of Michigan, whose football stadium holds almost 10 times the population of Boone.
Anyhow, me and my coworker were waiting outside with carryouts for different people when co-worker starts carrying on about the game: "Didn't you see Appalachian State beat Michigan? I watched the last few minutes of the game and when Michigan completed that long pass I was like 'F

The only thing that concerned me last Saturday was that my Badgers won

Bonus video! Some cheesetastic promotional film Appalachian State University produced, presumably to attract students in as humorously-low budget a way as possible.
And we'll have fun fun fun, now that Mommy took her Heelies away....
While helping out in school supplies today, I noticed a girl on heelies zipping all around the place and darting in and out of aisles. I watched her build a running start (as all children on Heelies tend to do), take off rolling....and lose control and fall flat on her butt.

Evidently the message did not sink in, because later I saw this same girl almost roll face-first into a wall.
Everything's relative
Lastly, as I was checking out my soda and candy bar for my lunch break, who should I run into but my aunt and uncle, chatting with one of the employees, who I guess my aunt used to work with. I said to the cashier checking me out "Doesn't it suck when your relatives come here to shop on a holiday and make it necessary for you to work?" Of course I meant this in a joking way. Aunt and uncle thought it was funny at least.
Thank you, you've been a great audience! Enjoy Stryper
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