Because God forbid I end up like one of THESE anuscakes. (props to GK!)
Me: So, these charges that you don't recognize on your credit card are going to a cell phone that ends in #1234. It looks like this card has been used on this phone many times before in the last year. Are you familiar with a cell phone that ends in #1234?
SC: Yes, that's my daughters phone.
Me: Ok, did you give her permission to use your card on her phone?
SC: no I didn't. in fact I took the phone away from her last week and hid it.
Me: Ok, well it sounds like she may have found it and is using it.
SC: No, I don't think so. One of your employees is using my card, and I need you to find out who it is and have them charged.
Me: One of OUR employees?
SC: Yes, that's right. That's the only explanation.
Me: Why would one of our employees use YOUR credit card on your DAUGHTER'S phone?
SC: I don't know, but it needs to stop now. I have already notified the police of the situation.
Me: Well, Ma'am, if someone here was using your card, don't you think they'd use it on their own phone, and not your daughters?
SC: I have no idea how you people work! All I know is someone is using my card with you, and since it can't be my daughter because I hid her phone, it's got to be someone there who has accessed this phone account before. I probably placed an order with them once or something, and they wrote down my credit card number. God knows.
Me: Ma'am, these charges were placed on YOUR DAUGHTER'S PHONE. I would say the most likely explanation is that someone has found your hiding place and is using that phone---someone who also has access to your wallet. I suggest you check your hiding place. Also, if you call customer service, they can tell you what phone numbers were recently called with that phone. I suspect you might recognize some of those phone numbers as belonging to your daughter's friends.
SC: I HID THAT PHONE ON HER! I know damn well it isn't her. It's one of you people. Now I need you to figure out who it is so I can tell the police and they can charge them! If you can't help me then get me a damn supervisor or someone who can. (and off she goes to my lead.)
There's burying your head in the sand, and then there's burying your entire body, putting your fingers in your ears and shouting 'nyah nyah nyah I can't hear you!' while a nuclear explosion is happening just above you.
__________________________________________________ ________
SC: That's my daughter's phone, I recognize it.
Me: Ok. Do you want me to block this card in our system so she can't use it anymore?
SC: Doesn't matter, I'm having the card cancelled. My daughter is ADHD and OCD. She's 16. I just recently got off the anti-depressants and the blood pressure medicine, and I'm not going back on them. I don't care what she does anymore, as long as I can't get in trouble for it. She can go knock over a liquor store if she wants to. As long as she doesn't use my car, I just don't care anymore. *long, deep sigh* Thanks for your help. *click*
You know, as nice as you were to me, you haven't helped my wavering faith in humanity. If that's what parenting does to your attitude then I don't want any part of it. I'll just eat my young, thanks.
__________________________________________________ __________
SC: so, these minutes were put on phone #2345?
Me: Yes.
SC: Ok, and the order was placed for how much and when?
Me: $26.75. That's $25 plus tax, basically, and it was done last Tuesday about 3 in the afternoon.
Teenager in background: Mom! I couldn't have done it! You have to have the 3 digit number on the back of the card to make orders with them!
SC: So, would she have to have the 3 digit number on the back of the card to place this order?
Me: No. We only require that if you place an order for over $50.
SC: See! this lady says you don't have to have that number!
TIB: Well she's LYYYYIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
SC: Why would she lie to me? You're more likely to lie to me. You've been calling that damn spic boy again, haven't you?!
TIB: No I haven't, you bitch!
SC: Ok, that's it. No more public school. It's obviously ruining you!
TIB: It's not ruining me! It's just making me better than you cause you're a sorry piece of shit!
SC: Well you're not better than me if you're stealing money behind my back. This phone's going into the river as soon as your father gets home!
TIB: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
(sounds of a struggle, and after a few seconds, the phone disconnects.)
Yes, that was easily the most bizarre call I've ever had. I don't know which one was worse, racist Mommy or foul-mouthed baby. I can only imagine what Daddy must be like to complete that vision of a happy home. Anyway, I related the gist of that call to a lead, and was given ten minutes to go compose myself. I needed it.
Me: So, these charges that you don't recognize on your credit card are going to a cell phone that ends in #1234. It looks like this card has been used on this phone many times before in the last year. Are you familiar with a cell phone that ends in #1234?
SC: Yes, that's my daughters phone.
Me: Ok, did you give her permission to use your card on her phone?
SC: no I didn't. in fact I took the phone away from her last week and hid it.
Me: Ok, well it sounds like she may have found it and is using it.
SC: No, I don't think so. One of your employees is using my card, and I need you to find out who it is and have them charged.
Me: One of OUR employees?
SC: Yes, that's right. That's the only explanation.
Me: Why would one of our employees use YOUR credit card on your DAUGHTER'S phone?
SC: I don't know, but it needs to stop now. I have already notified the police of the situation.
Me: Well, Ma'am, if someone here was using your card, don't you think they'd use it on their own phone, and not your daughters?
SC: I have no idea how you people work! All I know is someone is using my card with you, and since it can't be my daughter because I hid her phone, it's got to be someone there who has accessed this phone account before. I probably placed an order with them once or something, and they wrote down my credit card number. God knows.
Me: Ma'am, these charges were placed on YOUR DAUGHTER'S PHONE. I would say the most likely explanation is that someone has found your hiding place and is using that phone---someone who also has access to your wallet. I suggest you check your hiding place. Also, if you call customer service, they can tell you what phone numbers were recently called with that phone. I suspect you might recognize some of those phone numbers as belonging to your daughter's friends.
SC: I HID THAT PHONE ON HER! I know damn well it isn't her. It's one of you people. Now I need you to figure out who it is so I can tell the police and they can charge them! If you can't help me then get me a damn supervisor or someone who can. (and off she goes to my lead.)
There's burying your head in the sand, and then there's burying your entire body, putting your fingers in your ears and shouting 'nyah nyah nyah I can't hear you!' while a nuclear explosion is happening just above you.
__________________________________________________ ________
SC: That's my daughter's phone, I recognize it.
Me: Ok. Do you want me to block this card in our system so she can't use it anymore?
SC: Doesn't matter, I'm having the card cancelled. My daughter is ADHD and OCD. She's 16. I just recently got off the anti-depressants and the blood pressure medicine, and I'm not going back on them. I don't care what she does anymore, as long as I can't get in trouble for it. She can go knock over a liquor store if she wants to. As long as she doesn't use my car, I just don't care anymore. *long, deep sigh* Thanks for your help. *click*
You know, as nice as you were to me, you haven't helped my wavering faith in humanity. If that's what parenting does to your attitude then I don't want any part of it. I'll just eat my young, thanks.
__________________________________________________ __________
SC: so, these minutes were put on phone #2345?
Me: Yes.
SC: Ok, and the order was placed for how much and when?
Me: $26.75. That's $25 plus tax, basically, and it was done last Tuesday about 3 in the afternoon.
Teenager in background: Mom! I couldn't have done it! You have to have the 3 digit number on the back of the card to make orders with them!
SC: So, would she have to have the 3 digit number on the back of the card to place this order?
Me: No. We only require that if you place an order for over $50.
SC: See! this lady says you don't have to have that number!
TIB: Well she's LYYYYIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
SC: Why would she lie to me? You're more likely to lie to me. You've been calling that damn spic boy again, haven't you?!
TIB: No I haven't, you bitch!
SC: Ok, that's it. No more public school. It's obviously ruining you!
TIB: It's not ruining me! It's just making me better than you cause you're a sorry piece of shit!
SC: Well you're not better than me if you're stealing money behind my back. This phone's going into the river as soon as your father gets home!
TIB: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
(sounds of a struggle, and after a few seconds, the phone disconnects.)
Yes, that was easily the most bizarre call I've ever had. I don't know which one was worse, racist Mommy or foul-mouthed baby. I can only imagine what Daddy must be like to complete that vision of a happy home. Anyway, I related the gist of that call to a lead, and was given ten minutes to go compose myself. I needed it.
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