Me: *typical opening call schpiel*
Screamer: I WANT MINUTES ON MY F$#^%&^ PHONE YOU BETTER PUT THEM ON NOW YOU LAZY SONS OF B^%%#! YOU MOTHERF##$% WHAT IS THE F$#^% PROBLEM HERE?!!!
Me: Ma'am I am not going to help you until you call down.
Screamer: *insert frighteningly high-pitched shrieking here* AHHH!! AAARRGGGHHH!! GODDAMMIT YOU STUPID F#@%$% PEOPLE GET THIS SHIT DONE NOW BEFORE I COME DOWN THERE AND RIP YOU ALL NEW ....*becomes unintelligible*
Me: Ma'am you are screaming so loud, I cannot understand anything you're saying. You really need to calm down.
Screamer: *more high pitched shrieking I cannot make a word out of*
Me: *finally just speaking over her* All right Ma'am, I'm disconnecting this call now, we're getting nowhere. Thank you for calling. *disconnect*
Six minutes later...
Phone rep John says his opening call schpiel.
Ma'am, please stop screaming at me.
No Ma'am, I'm not helping you until you stop screaming abuse at me.
All right Ma'am, I'm disconnecting now.
Turns to me and says "Jane Smith?"
"Yup."
"5 bucks she calls back in less than 10."
5 minutes later...
Phone rep Maryann does her opening call schpiel.
several seconds of silence. Maryann hits mute and starts busting up laughing.
"Looks like I got her this time!"
Maryann: *off mute* Ma'am do you want us to help you or not?
Well then I suggest you calm down and let us do our jobs.
No Ma'am, I am not being rude, in fact you are being extremely rude to me, and if you call me that again I'm going to hang up on you.
All right Ma'am, have a nice day. *disconnect*
5 minutes later...
Me: *opening call schpiel*
Screamer: I'VE ALREADY SPOKEN TO YOU! I WANT YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW, YOU DUMB B#$%! HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME! I WILL HAVE THE JOBS OF EVERYONE IN YOUR DEPARTMENT! GET YOUR SUPERIOR RIGHT THIS F#$%$% MINUTE YOU COW!
Me: *hits mute and thinks for a second: do I want to hang up, or should I pass the fun onto my supervisor? Decide to let lead in on the fun. Dial lead*
Lead: Oh, so she finally gets around to escalating, huh.
Me: Dude, she's all yours.
Lead: What seems to be the problem, Ma'am?
Well you know, Ma'am, if you didn't scream and call them filthy names, you would probably get much better service from them.
There is nothing wrong with the way I'm speaking to you Ma'am, I'm just telling you the truth.
Well they have the right to disconnect someone who is verbally abusing them.
No, Ma'am, they are not expected to put up with your abuse.
That's correct Ma'am.
Feel free to threaten me all you want, Ma'am, I find it rather amusing. Really? How do you spell that?
Lead says at this point she was reduced to gasping for air like a fish out of water.
I love that guy.
Screamer: I WANT MINUTES ON MY F$#^%&^ PHONE YOU BETTER PUT THEM ON NOW YOU LAZY SONS OF B^%%#! YOU MOTHERF##$% WHAT IS THE F$#^% PROBLEM HERE?!!!
Me: Ma'am I am not going to help you until you call down.
Screamer: *insert frighteningly high-pitched shrieking here* AHHH!! AAARRGGGHHH!! GODDAMMIT YOU STUPID F#@%$% PEOPLE GET THIS SHIT DONE NOW BEFORE I COME DOWN THERE AND RIP YOU ALL NEW ....*becomes unintelligible*
Me: Ma'am you are screaming so loud, I cannot understand anything you're saying. You really need to calm down.
Screamer: *more high pitched shrieking I cannot make a word out of*
Me: *finally just speaking over her* All right Ma'am, I'm disconnecting this call now, we're getting nowhere. Thank you for calling. *disconnect*
Six minutes later...
Phone rep John says his opening call schpiel.
Ma'am, please stop screaming at me.
No Ma'am, I'm not helping you until you stop screaming abuse at me.
All right Ma'am, I'm disconnecting now.
Turns to me and says "Jane Smith?"
"Yup."
"5 bucks she calls back in less than 10."
5 minutes later...
Phone rep Maryann does her opening call schpiel.
several seconds of silence. Maryann hits mute and starts busting up laughing.
"Looks like I got her this time!"
Maryann: *off mute* Ma'am do you want us to help you or not?
Well then I suggest you calm down and let us do our jobs.
No Ma'am, I am not being rude, in fact you are being extremely rude to me, and if you call me that again I'm going to hang up on you.
All right Ma'am, have a nice day. *disconnect*
5 minutes later...
Me: *opening call schpiel*
Screamer: I'VE ALREADY SPOKEN TO YOU! I WANT YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW, YOU DUMB B#$%! HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME! I WILL HAVE THE JOBS OF EVERYONE IN YOUR DEPARTMENT! GET YOUR SUPERIOR RIGHT THIS F#$%$% MINUTE YOU COW!
Me: *hits mute and thinks for a second: do I want to hang up, or should I pass the fun onto my supervisor? Decide to let lead in on the fun. Dial lead*
Lead: Oh, so she finally gets around to escalating, huh.
Me: Dude, she's all yours.
Lead: What seems to be the problem, Ma'am?
Well you know, Ma'am, if you didn't scream and call them filthy names, you would probably get much better service from them.
There is nothing wrong with the way I'm speaking to you Ma'am, I'm just telling you the truth.
Well they have the right to disconnect someone who is verbally abusing them.
No, Ma'am, they are not expected to put up with your abuse.
That's correct Ma'am.
Feel free to threaten me all you want, Ma'am, I find it rather amusing. Really? How do you spell that?
Lead says at this point she was reduced to gasping for air like a fish out of water.
I love that guy.

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