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  • Too much is not enough. Or something.

    Oh irony, you win again...

    Too much?

    CP: Crappy old man
    CPW: Crappy old wife
    Me:

    Me:Hi, what can I get for you this evening?
    CP: I want blahablah (food items). *turns in his seat, grabs my arm* And my wife wants just an egg, over easy, and some hash browns. Do you think you have something like that? *gives me a challenging look*
    Me: Yes. *tries to wrench free my arm from his grasp* We have blahblah (meal), but I think it would be cheaper for just a side of hashbrowns and one egg rather than the meal.
    CP: Well, you better have it.
    Me: Don't worry, we have both of those things. I'm fairly bright, I think I can manage. *tries to tug my arm free again*
    CP: *finally decides to let go of my arm*
    note: I look over at the old man's wife, who has not said a single word this entire time. In fact, she hasn't stopped staring at the window shade pull since she arrived. I'm kind of curious...is she a puppet or something? Her coffee wasn't poured or anything either, which was strange.
    Anyway, I start to walk away from the table when CP makes a loud, gruff sound. I turn around.
    CP: How much comes in a side of hash browns?
    Me: It's usually a whole plate....*i trail off at the scowl appearing on his features*
    CP: Well, she doesn't want THAT much. You better not give her too much!!
    Me: It's not up to me to decide portions put on plates.
    CP: Well, find a way!!! We don't want that much!
    Me: Well, since you put it that way, I will just put in 'small side'. Hopefully that will work.
    CP: You better.
    Me: *tries not to roll eyes at the usual SC empty threat*

    Sooo, I bring them back their food (at which point, CPW still hasn't declared victory over the window shade pull in their little staring contest) and lo and behold:

    CP: This is TOO MUCH!!! You told me you could put in a SMALL side!
    Me: I did, and this is less than usual. I don't see what the problem is, the cooks are trying to give you your money's worth.
    CP: WELL, I WANT A BOX. There is no way SHE will eat ALL of THIS.
    note: this was just a bread plate full of hash browns. Not a usual side, which is on a regular 9 inch plate.
    Me:*gets box, puts it in front of the old man* There you go. You can take the extra home, and then there's two meals for you.

    Not Enough??

    Different table, the same night. This woman (CW) orders a milkshake, and I make it for her. We just changed our portioning because of high food costs, and the milkshakes are hand dipped, and made with three scoops of ice cream. The difference is, the new ice cream scoop is a little smaller than the old one. Therefore, when we bring them the extra tin, there was a little less extra than usual. Meaning, instead of two inches worth of extra shake, there was only one or one and a half. Oh well, right? Oh no...

    Me: How is the milkshake over here?
    CW: Well, it was awfully small.
    Me: *trying so hard to keep a fake smile on my face* Well ma'am, it's because we changed our portioning because of high food costs. It's still the same amount of scoops, but they are a little smaller.
    CW: Well, I'm paying almost $4 for this shake, and I want the extra that comes with it.
    Me: There was extra in this shake. About an inch or an inch and a half. I'm not sure, I didn't really have the time to stop and measure.
    CW: I still want the extra shake. It wasn't enough for the cost.
    Me: There is nothing I can do to fix the portioning rules for our store. We just changed this, and everybody has to obey the guidelines here.
    CW: Well, I don't think I'm going to buy a shake here again, especially since you're ripping me off.
    Me: I don't think the Restuarant is ripping anyone off. It's just a milkshake, one that was made the way they are telling us to.
    CW: Well...*disapproving look* fine.
    Me: *leaves*

    *At the end of their meal, I return*

    Me: So, can I interest anyone in some dessert tonight?
    Others at the table: *shake heads in a no*
    CW: No, I don't think so. Especially since it might be too small, and I don't want to pay for anything that might be not enough.
    Me: *thinking: bitch.* Well ma'am, I assure you: the desserts are fairly large, even by your standards. They won't be the size of a sheet cake, but hopefully they can satiate your appetite. *polite smile*
    CW: *silence*
    Me: *walks away*




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  • #2
    but hopefully they can satiate your appetite. *polite smile*
    CW: *silence*
    She was probably trying to figure out what satiate means.

    I wonder if that first lady had Alzheimer's or something. Not that that makes her husband any less sucky.
    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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    • #3
      That first scenario is really disturbing . . . What a jerk of a man . . . or pig . . .
      ~*~"If your gift is that of serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, do a good job of teaching." -Romans 12:7~*~

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      • #4
        I wouldn't last two hours as a waitress. Both those people would be wearing their food.



        .
        Retail Haiku:
        Depression sets in.
        The hellhole is calling me ~
        I don't want to go.

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        • #5
          Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
          She was probably trying to figure out what satiate means.

          I wonder if that first lady had Alzheimer's or something. Not that that makes her husband any less sucky.
          Sometimes old women are just distant. ESPECIALLY, when their husbands are assholes and they grew tired of fighting it about two decades back...
          The icon is a bunny with a spiked collar from some carpet ad.

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          • #6
            The chap who grabbed hold of your arm should have been removed from the restaurant, NO ONE has the right to grab hold of any employee for any reason (with the exception of preventing them from coming into harm) in the same situation the first thing out of my mouth would have been "Let go, now".

            I can understand some people feel the need to touch your arm to gain your attention (I also know that othes find it totally inappropriate hence why I don't do it) I'm a little taller than average so it happens a lot to me but physically restraining you, they'd better like the inside of a police van.

            Stay Safe
            A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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            • #7
              What crazylegs said.

              If someone were to grab me, all business activities would be put on instant hold until the inappropriate and unacceptable contact was terminated.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #8
                Yep, we call this type of behavior "Battery" It's kinda illegal... kinda a lot. This is the kind of situation where you try to pull away, give him your coldest stare, and tell him that if he doesn't let go immediately, you'll call the cops on him and press charges. For anyone looking to nitpick, it is battery, assault is the threat of hostile action (assault with a deadly weapon is when you fire and miss), battery is the completion of it.
                If ignorance is bliss, no wonder I'm so unhappy.

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                • #9
                  Yeah, the instant anyone grabs my arm, that person has bought the one-way ticket to Hurtsville. Touch is one thing, a tap on the shoulder is annoying but it's not entirely bad. Grabbing and holding is going to get your face slammed into the table as many times as it takes before you either willingly let go or lapse into unconsciousness.

                  Although, if there's a table full of bikers nearby, playing the "crying damsel in distress" card saves you the effort of doing the whupping yourself.
                  "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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                  • #10
                    Quoth kerrisan View Post
                    That first scenario is really disturbing . . . What a jerk of a man . . . or pig . . .
                    I was thinking the same thing. Is his wife on heavy medication, like he drugged her, or is he a person that is capable of mental programming and brainwashing? Or, maybe he's abusive if she says anything at all.

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                    • #11
                      Count me as a permanent resident in the "touching = ride in a police car" camp. The second someone grabs my arm and I don't want them to, I immediately give them my "drill sargeant" bark to let me go. Now. And a warning that touching me again will earn them said ride.
                      A smile is just a grimace that's been edited for public consumption. -- Tony Cochran

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                      • #12
                        *cough* im in the touching me gets you in an ambalance camp....
                        they would get one tug, one warning then i would use my knowledge of matrial arts on them ( i did once to a guy i worked with when i was uncomfortable and he thought i was joking....) and the nice old man is pinned beneath me as i talk clamly to the dispatcher about how a guy grabbed me refused to let go and i had to use force to get away.... but now hes making funny noices and saying his bacl hurts, thought that could be because my knee is in it... on top of his hand, and theres and odd bend in the arm...

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                        • #13
                          One restaurant I used to work in decided to order a nicer style wine glass. Only problem was - they were bigger than the standard run-of-the-mill restaurant wine glass. I, and most of those who are familiar with drinking wine, understood that the larger glass allowed the wines to breath more or something like that - they were better for the wine drinking experience. (So, those drinking that White Zin can appreciate it's full boutique )

                          The only problem with the bigger wine glass was that the standard 6 oz pour looked measley. But, without charging for another full glass, you were going to get the standard 6 oz pour. This was standard in nearly all the restaurants I worked in. Most people understood the increase in glass made the serving look smaller, however, these were also the people that appreciated the new glassware.

                          Then there were those that bitched about being "ripped off". They demanded a "full glass" of wine. (which would've been 13 oz.!!!!) There were times when I would take a liquid measuring cup to the table with 6 oz of water to explain the standard pour. We kept one old glass on hand for such an occasion. We would pour the water in the old glass which would clearly show a full glass of wine then pour one in the new glass to show the difference was in the glass, not the amount. Did it matter? No, of course not. Did they still drink it and order more? Of course they did.
                          "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Sliceanddice View Post
                            *cough* im in the touching me gets you in an ambalance camp....
                            they would get one tug, one warning then i would use my knowledge of matrial arts on them ( i did once to a guy i worked with when i was uncomfortable and he thought i was joking....) and the nice old man is pinned beneath me as i talk clamly to the dispatcher about how a guy grabbed me refused to let go and i had to use force to get away.... but now hes making funny noices and saying his bacl hurts, thought that could be because my knee is in it... on top of his hand, and theres and odd bend in the arm...
                            And you know you'll always get that same split second of wide-eyed, unbelieving comprehension as they hurtle toward the floor. It's like the bigger they are, the more they think that you can't do anything. Gotta love proving them wrong Only problem is that a lot of companies don't care if you're in the right, they'll still fire you for getting into an "altercation" with their customers.
                            If ignorance is bliss, no wonder I'm so unhappy.

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                            • #15
                              That's when you sue for wrongful termination.

                              Me? If you're good, you let go. If you're smart, you don't grab in the first place.

                              If you're lucky, you're only dealing with the cops. You'll live, I promise.
                              Any day you're looking down at the dirt instead of up at the dirt is a good day.

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