My ship-out date was pushed back a month, so I still work at the convenience store. A few gems from today.
No Purchase, No Cry- er, Change
Guy comes up waving a twenty, wanting change.
Guy: "Hey man, I need four fives." *Slaps the bill on the counter*
Me: "Sorry, can't open the drawer without a sale. Store policy."
Guy: "Oh, come on man, help me out there. I need those fives! You can't open it if you had to drop cash or anything?"
Me: "I could, yes."
Guy *grinning triumpantly*: "So you can open it? Great! I just need four fi-"
Me *smiling back*: "Not gonna do it though."
Guy: "Why not?! You just said you could!"
Me: "With a purchase, yes. Store policy."
He ended up buying a dollar lottery ticket, and wouldn't you know, only had two fives in the drawer. *We ALWAYS run short on fives during the weekend, without fail.*
Back up, or lose your hand
Jackass who frequents the store comes in. No one likes him, I tolerate him long as he behaves... which ironically enough, is usually when I'm working. Apparently I have the "Will slit your throat with a paper clip and drink your blood while howling at the moon" aura at work.
Goober: "Smokes." *God, I hate this game, but I'm so good at it. The irony.*
Me *leaning against the register being bored*: "Fine, pack of Capris." *Goes to grab a pack*
Goober: "No! I don't want that fag shit man, it's too damn expensive!"
Me: "I've warned you about saying 'fag' in the store. Last warning. Now, you gonna tell me what you want, or should I pick the next most expensive brand?" *edges hand towards the Mistys*
Goober *scowling*: "Shit man, gimme packa Mustangs!" *thinks for a moment, I can hear the gears squealing* "Uh... regulars."
Me *ringing up a pack*: "Three ninety-seven. Cash or plastic?"
Goober flicks his card at me. Classy guy, no?
I scan his card and wait to see if it goes through this time. While waiting, I see him reaching across the counter for the smokes still in my hand.
Me: "You into pain?"
Goober: "Huh?" *Hand stops moving.*
Me: "I asked, are you into pain? Because if you try and take these smokes from my hand, you will lose your hand in the process. At the shoulder. Think about it."
Goober decided it was better to wait for his card to clear than try and take the smokes.
There were a few others, but I forget what they are. I'll post them when I remember.
No Purchase, No Cry- er, Change
Guy comes up waving a twenty, wanting change.
Guy: "Hey man, I need four fives." *Slaps the bill on the counter*
Me: "Sorry, can't open the drawer without a sale. Store policy."
Guy: "Oh, come on man, help me out there. I need those fives! You can't open it if you had to drop cash or anything?"
Me: "I could, yes."
Guy *grinning triumpantly*: "So you can open it? Great! I just need four fi-"
Me *smiling back*: "Not gonna do it though."
Guy: "Why not?! You just said you could!"
Me: "With a purchase, yes. Store policy."
He ended up buying a dollar lottery ticket, and wouldn't you know, only had two fives in the drawer. *We ALWAYS run short on fives during the weekend, without fail.*
Back up, or lose your hand
Jackass who frequents the store comes in. No one likes him, I tolerate him long as he behaves... which ironically enough, is usually when I'm working. Apparently I have the "Will slit your throat with a paper clip and drink your blood while howling at the moon" aura at work.
Goober: "Smokes." *God, I hate this game, but I'm so good at it. The irony.*
Me *leaning against the register being bored*: "Fine, pack of Capris." *Goes to grab a pack*
Goober: "No! I don't want that fag shit man, it's too damn expensive!"
Me: "I've warned you about saying 'fag' in the store. Last warning. Now, you gonna tell me what you want, or should I pick the next most expensive brand?" *edges hand towards the Mistys*
Goober *scowling*: "Shit man, gimme packa Mustangs!" *thinks for a moment, I can hear the gears squealing* "Uh... regulars."
Me *ringing up a pack*: "Three ninety-seven. Cash or plastic?"
Goober flicks his card at me. Classy guy, no?
I scan his card and wait to see if it goes through this time. While waiting, I see him reaching across the counter for the smokes still in my hand.
Me: "You into pain?"
Goober: "Huh?" *Hand stops moving.*
Me: "I asked, are you into pain? Because if you try and take these smokes from my hand, you will lose your hand in the process. At the shoulder. Think about it."
Goober decided it was better to wait for his card to clear than try and take the smokes.
There were a few others, but I forget what they are. I'll post them when I remember.
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