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Sorry, we do not stock tin foil hats.

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  • Sorry, we do not stock tin foil hats.

    We received a phone call today from a customer who wanted a very special device.

    (Did not get the call myself, but the guys who delt with her rushed to tell everyone.)

    She was unemployed at the time, and wanted a Geiger counter, except she wanted on that detected lasers, as well as men who might sexually harass her or pose a threat.

    She figured since we sold industrial supplies she could get her hands on it. After all she heard about it on the internet.

    She relayed all the information in a slow, lathargic manner.

    All of this was told to one of the guys, who pawned her off onto the boss, who ignored several calls for him so he could stay on the line.

    Since she was on a fixed income, she had to know that she could return it at any time. Besides, she couldn't trust us yet.

    So we told her that we did not have anything in stock like that at this time.

    Then *69 to get her phone number, and are debating what exactly to do. I think we should call and claim to be the CIA and are wondering about her looking into the X-3454 (or what ever we would call it.) One of the guys wondered if we should make a fake device that would randomly click and beep when used. But I did point out any course of action would end in someone's parts in her freezer.

    At any rate, there needs to be some changes in her medication.
    "Wait... he's alive, but his head's gone..." -Crow

  • #2
    Quoth Mr. Crow View Post
    I think we should call and claim to be the CIA and are wondering about her looking into the X-3454 (or what ever we would call it.)
    "Uranium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"
    Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Naaman View Post
      "Uranium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"
      Would that be followed by an earth shattering kaboom?
      NPCing: the ancient art of acting out your multiple personality disorder in a setting where someone else might think there's nothing wrong with you.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Naaman View Post
        "Alludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"
        Fixed it for you.
        I AM the evil bastard!
        A+ Certified IT Technician

        Comment


        • #5
          This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

          Comment


          • #6
            [QUOTE=Mr. Crow;208447] But I did point out any course of action would end in someone's parts in her freezer. [QUOTE]


            *snorts*

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Mr. Crow View Post
              She was unemployed at the time, and wanted a Geiger counter, except she wanted on that detected lasers, as well as men who might sexually harass her or pose a threat.
              Look, if I can't get a nuclear powered Ferrari that turns into an F-22 Raptor, then she can't buy that. It's the rules.
              I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

              Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Mr. Crow View Post
                At any rate, there needs to be some changes in her medication.
                Or, since she has internet access, you could send her here:

                http://zapatopi.net/afdb/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Spiffy McMoron View Post
                  Look, if I can't get a nuclear powered Ferrari ...
                  Just get a Bugatti Veyron, over 1000 BHP and 10 cooling radiators. Probably goes the same speed anyhoo
                  A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth crazylegs View Post
                    Just get a Bugatti Veyron, over 1000 BHP and 10 cooling radiators. Probably goes the same speed anyhoo
                    Yeah, but can it turn into a jet?
                    I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

                    Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Spiffy McMoron View Post
                      Yeah, but can it turn into a jet?
                      Nope but it can turn into a pile of shit just like that



                      0-smashed in 2.2 seconds!
                      My Karma ran over your dogma.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth lordlundar View Post
                        Originally Posted by Naaman View Post
                        "Alludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"
                        Fixed it for you.
                        Illudium Q-32. I'm pretty sure. Not 100%, but I know it wasn't 36.
                        "I call murder on that!"

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                        • #13
                          Quoth digilight View Post
                          Nope but it can turn into a pile of shit just like that



                          0-smashed in 2.2 seconds!
                          And only a couple of miles from where I work
                          Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Juwl View Post
                            Illudium Q-32. I'm pretty sure. Not 100%, but I know it wasn't 36.
                            According to wiki, it was first "Uranium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator" then later changed to "Illudium" in later cartoons.

                            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_the_Martian

                            Its on the Internet, so it must be true!
                            The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                            "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                            Hoc spatio locantur.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Naaman View Post
                              "Alludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"
                              Cant forget the improved version, the Q-37 (was mentioned in a later BB Cartoon)

                              M
                              I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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