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Hi, Long Time Lurker, first time poster.
I work as a customer service lead in a call center for a manufacturer of health care products. We are mostly a B2B call center, the majority of our customers are either hospitals or hospitals, but from time to time we will get individual customers who are looking for free medical advice or a second medical opinion for whatever their doctor told them. We can’t answer either question, since we are not licensed to practice medicine. Some of the people in the department have some medical knowledge. Most of the time it’s the elderly and they want advice on how to use products that they’ve obtained second hand, either from a friend or loved one. Or they have a product that was previously prescribed for another condition and they want to know what else they can treat with the product. Since we could kill someone if we give them the wrong information, we can’t answer any of those types of questions. Plus, it’s impossible to diagnose someone over the phone, which is why….you actually need to physically visit the Doctor. A couple of weeks ago, I had a doozy.
LC = Me
SC = Crazy Lady
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products”, we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC – YES! I have some of product A, what can I use it for?
LC-I’m sorry I can’t answer that question as this is a prescribed bandage and you would need to consult with your doctor as to what he prescribed it for.
SC-What is the difference between product A and Product B? (With no acknowledgement that she even heard the answer to my first question.)
The two products that she is talking about are what’s termed “advanced wound care gauze”, meaning they do more than a band aid does. These particular products are impregnated with an anti-bacterial ointment that is mixed with either Vaseline (product A) or mineral oil (product B). They’re very similar but are both prescribed for specific medical conditions, as a DOCTOR sees fit to prescribe them. Anyway I explain the difference between the two products to the customer.
SC-Well, why don’t you just shove them up you’re a@@!!. YOU @#@@$# @##$# ##@#$@$ @#$$@$@$!!! *click, bzzzzzzzz*!!!
Wha….? Sorry for answering your question.
So….you think it’s over right? Oh, no. As I mentioned, I’m a lead, so it’s part of my job to keep tabs on the other people in my area. Mostly I only care that my fellow co-workers aren’t getting abused or need assistance, otherwise as long as they’re not totally goofing off I don’t care what they do. That’s the department supervisor’s problem. Anyway a few minutes go by and I hear the CSR who sits beside me answering the same type of questions that the SC had asked me. So I slip the CSR a note to transfer the call to a supervisor, since I KNOW that the caller is hostile and the CSR is also now getting an ear full.
While the CSR has the SC on hold explaining to the supervisor why she’s transferring the call, which takes about 30 seconds, the SC hangs up.
So it’s done right? Nope. Again a few minutes later, I hear another CSR in my group answering the same type of questions, so I immediately tell the CSR to switch the call to a supervisor and than I realize that I better warn the supervisor what she is in for. So I walk over to the supervisor’s desk, and arrive too late, the customer is already on the line with her. Also, the department manager is sitting in the supervisor’s cubicle with her. So I interrupt the phone call and give the supervisor and department manager the lowdown on this SC. Meanwhile, the supervisor has kept the SC on the line, but muted her mic, so the SC doesn’t know that the supervisor is talking to someone else. You could hear this SC yelling through the supervisor’s earpiece and the faces the supervisor was making while this SC is ranting are priceless. So the supervisor was all cool about it and I went to sit back at my desk. And, I called the second CSR who I told to transfer the call, to see what the SC had said to her. Apparently, we are all rude, unhelpful people who kept hanging up on her! Ummm….no you were the one hanging up. Crazy B@#CH!!
Later in the day, I stop by the supervisor’s cubicle to hear the final outcome. Apparently, this SC had gone to the emergency room to have a “wound” on her leg treated. The emergency room attendants told her that the “wound” wasn’t anything that could be treated, since it was a minor skin trauma (most likely a callous). But that wasn’t good enough for an this SC, but instead of seeking a second MEDICAL opinion, this SC decided to self medicate her “wound”. Using one of products, which as the package insert states, may have side effects. Well do to the SC self-medicating, sure enough, she was experiencing said side effects, due to the fact that she was miss using the product, for something that the product was not intended to treat. Namely, an imaginary wound. The supervisor informed the SC that unfortunately, she would have to actually go the hospital, since she now DID have a reason to be treated.
Gotta love the insane, they’re always fun.
************************************************** **************
The other people that get me are these type of callers.
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products”, we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC- Yes, I have a question.
LC- OK, what can I do for you today?
SC- I have a question about a product.
LC- And what is that question?
SC- Are you the person who can answer my question?
LC- Well that would depend on what the specific question, what is the question?
SC- I have a product question….
JUST GET TO THE POINT. For the love of all that is good and holy!! Get to the point!!
************************************************** **************
When you call the 800 number for our customer service department, we have a voice message which REPEATEDLY states the name of the company AND identifies the phone line as the line for the customer service department.
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products” (AGAIN MENTIONING THE COMPANY NAME) we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC - Yes, what is the name of your company?
or
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products” , we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC- HI! Is this customer service?
In the words of the Guinness guys, BRILLIANT!!
************************************************** **************
The company I work for is owned by a larger corporation, which owns several other medical manufacturers. We also get a lot of these calls.
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products”, we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC- Yes I need to check on the status of a purchase order.
LC- Sure I’d be glad to help you and the purchase order number?
SC- Gives PO number
LC- I’m sorry I actually don’t have that PO.
SC- It was verbally confirmed on 10-12 by Vivian!
LC- We don’t have Vivian in this department, what is the product number on the order?
SC- Gives product number which we don’t even manufacture, but the item description sounds like something one of our sister companies manufacturers.
LC- I believe you’ve reached the wrong company, that sounds like a product that is actually manufactured by company X.
SC- *Sighs* (In a snotty tone), can I speak to Mariane at extension 1234?
LC- There isn’t anyone here by that name and that is not a valid extension number.
SC- Thanks for your help! *click*
Ok and thanks for not knowing who the hell you actually ordered that product from!! I guarantee he called back. Customers are never wrong you know.
I work as a customer service lead in a call center for a manufacturer of health care products. We are mostly a B2B call center, the majority of our customers are either hospitals or hospitals, but from time to time we will get individual customers who are looking for free medical advice or a second medical opinion for whatever their doctor told them. We can’t answer either question, since we are not licensed to practice medicine. Some of the people in the department have some medical knowledge. Most of the time it’s the elderly and they want advice on how to use products that they’ve obtained second hand, either from a friend or loved one. Or they have a product that was previously prescribed for another condition and they want to know what else they can treat with the product. Since we could kill someone if we give them the wrong information, we can’t answer any of those types of questions. Plus, it’s impossible to diagnose someone over the phone, which is why….you actually need to physically visit the Doctor. A couple of weeks ago, I had a doozy.
LC = Me
SC = Crazy Lady
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products”, we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC – YES! I have some of product A, what can I use it for?
LC-I’m sorry I can’t answer that question as this is a prescribed bandage and you would need to consult with your doctor as to what he prescribed it for.
SC-What is the difference between product A and Product B? (With no acknowledgement that she even heard the answer to my first question.)
The two products that she is talking about are what’s termed “advanced wound care gauze”, meaning they do more than a band aid does. These particular products are impregnated with an anti-bacterial ointment that is mixed with either Vaseline (product A) or mineral oil (product B). They’re very similar but are both prescribed for specific medical conditions, as a DOCTOR sees fit to prescribe them. Anyway I explain the difference between the two products to the customer.
SC-Well, why don’t you just shove them up you’re a@@!!. YOU @#@@$# @##$# ##@#$@$ @#$$@$@$!!! *click, bzzzzzzzz*!!!
Wha….? Sorry for answering your question.
So….you think it’s over right? Oh, no. As I mentioned, I’m a lead, so it’s part of my job to keep tabs on the other people in my area. Mostly I only care that my fellow co-workers aren’t getting abused or need assistance, otherwise as long as they’re not totally goofing off I don’t care what they do. That’s the department supervisor’s problem. Anyway a few minutes go by and I hear the CSR who sits beside me answering the same type of questions that the SC had asked me. So I slip the CSR a note to transfer the call to a supervisor, since I KNOW that the caller is hostile and the CSR is also now getting an ear full.
While the CSR has the SC on hold explaining to the supervisor why she’s transferring the call, which takes about 30 seconds, the SC hangs up.
So it’s done right? Nope. Again a few minutes later, I hear another CSR in my group answering the same type of questions, so I immediately tell the CSR to switch the call to a supervisor and than I realize that I better warn the supervisor what she is in for. So I walk over to the supervisor’s desk, and arrive too late, the customer is already on the line with her. Also, the department manager is sitting in the supervisor’s cubicle with her. So I interrupt the phone call and give the supervisor and department manager the lowdown on this SC. Meanwhile, the supervisor has kept the SC on the line, but muted her mic, so the SC doesn’t know that the supervisor is talking to someone else. You could hear this SC yelling through the supervisor’s earpiece and the faces the supervisor was making while this SC is ranting are priceless. So the supervisor was all cool about it and I went to sit back at my desk. And, I called the second CSR who I told to transfer the call, to see what the SC had said to her. Apparently, we are all rude, unhelpful people who kept hanging up on her! Ummm….no you were the one hanging up. Crazy B@#CH!!
Later in the day, I stop by the supervisor’s cubicle to hear the final outcome. Apparently, this SC had gone to the emergency room to have a “wound” on her leg treated. The emergency room attendants told her that the “wound” wasn’t anything that could be treated, since it was a minor skin trauma (most likely a callous). But that wasn’t good enough for an this SC, but instead of seeking a second MEDICAL opinion, this SC decided to self medicate her “wound”. Using one of products, which as the package insert states, may have side effects. Well do to the SC self-medicating, sure enough, she was experiencing said side effects, due to the fact that she was miss using the product, for something that the product was not intended to treat. Namely, an imaginary wound. The supervisor informed the SC that unfortunately, she would have to actually go the hospital, since she now DID have a reason to be treated.
Gotta love the insane, they’re always fun.
************************************************** **************
The other people that get me are these type of callers.
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products”, we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC- Yes, I have a question.
LC- OK, what can I do for you today?
SC- I have a question about a product.
LC- And what is that question?
SC- Are you the person who can answer my question?
LC- Well that would depend on what the specific question, what is the question?
SC- I have a product question….
JUST GET TO THE POINT. For the love of all that is good and holy!! Get to the point!!
************************************************** **************
When you call the 800 number for our customer service department, we have a voice message which REPEATEDLY states the name of the company AND identifies the phone line as the line for the customer service department.
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products” (AGAIN MENTIONING THE COMPANY NAME) we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC - Yes, what is the name of your company?
or
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products” , we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC- HI! Is this customer service?
In the words of the Guinness guys, BRILLIANT!!
************************************************** **************
The company I work for is owned by a larger corporation, which owns several other medical manufacturers. We also get a lot of these calls.
LC – Hello, thank you for calling “crappy medical products”, we’ll rip you off! My name is Life Carnie, how can I help you today?
SC- Yes I need to check on the status of a purchase order.
LC- Sure I’d be glad to help you and the purchase order number?
SC- Gives PO number
LC- I’m sorry I actually don’t have that PO.
SC- It was verbally confirmed on 10-12 by Vivian!
LC- We don’t have Vivian in this department, what is the product number on the order?
SC- Gives product number which we don’t even manufacture, but the item description sounds like something one of our sister companies manufacturers.
LC- I believe you’ve reached the wrong company, that sounds like a product that is actually manufactured by company X.
SC- *Sighs* (In a snotty tone), can I speak to Mariane at extension 1234?
LC- There isn’t anyone here by that name and that is not a valid extension number.
SC- Thanks for your help! *click*
Ok and thanks for not knowing who the hell you actually ordered that product from!! I guarantee he called back. Customers are never wrong you know.
Or they're like me, and they've begun to watch television or read a book and may have forgotten they're on hold at all. At that point, getting a customer service person talking into your ear is more of a pleasant surprise than anything.
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