Okay, Saturday was actually fun, despite having to get up at 7:20, and working 10 hours. It was homecoming, we won, and most of the customers were awesome. I was working with some of my favorite people, managers were scarce, and we had plenty of help. A long day, but the best working weekend I've had in a long time.
Setting: It's around 11:00 A.M. Game starts at 12:30 P.M. This means we are in FULL CHAOS RUSH MODE. Every purchase averages $150.00. Various versions of "Bear Down" play throughout the store. A good time is generally had by all. Then, a man walks up. He's probably in his 50's. He was nice.
Him: Hi.
Me: Hey there. How are you today?
Him: Good. You?
Me: Doing fine.
*scans clothes, etc.*
Me: Allll right. Your total comes to $313.46.
Him: Okay.
*hands me Mastercard*
Little did I know that somewhere in his past, this unassuming, middle-aged football fan had taken a trip to Hades wherein his wallet had copulated with Satan himself. I thought I noticed it glowing red when he retrieved the possessed plastic rectangle, but I was too busy humming along with a steel drum version of the fight song.
Me: Okay, do you have ID?
Him: Indeed, thank you for asking.
Me: All right. *swipe, enter*
The register freezes. It displays an error I've never seen before. It's not a rare occurance - the system runs on MS DOS and is older than I am. Thinking fast, I notice that the cashieress next to me has finished her transaction.
Me: Assmonkeys! Sir, my register just crashed. Your card hasn't been charged, but I'm going to need you to go right over here to Sarah (name changed).
Him: Oh, okay.
Some more explanation between the three of us occurs. Sarah rings him up.
Sarah: Okay, your total is $313.46.
Him: Familiar number. *hands card*
Sarah: Okay *scans, enter*
The same error appears, and the register locks down. Oh, crap. The man's MasterCard has literally caused two registers to fail within 3 minutes in the same way. I tell Sarah to reboot, and I take the items to another cashieress, call her Beatrix.
Me: Beatrix, I need you to ring this man up. However, under no circumstances are you to SWIPE his card. Type in the number. If you think you want to swipe it. Think again. It is a daemon, and will cause your computer to freeze and your credit score to decrease at Equifax.
Beatrix: Why?-wha?-
Me: Just do it. I'll explain later.
It worked, and the man took his underworld-influenced product acquisition device and clothes with him. Weirdest thing I have ever seen. He was nice the entire time, though, but his card was, I guess, entitled to repeatedly violate MS DOS.
Setting: It's around 11:00 A.M. Game starts at 12:30 P.M. This means we are in FULL CHAOS RUSH MODE. Every purchase averages $150.00. Various versions of "Bear Down" play throughout the store. A good time is generally had by all. Then, a man walks up. He's probably in his 50's. He was nice.
Him: Hi.
Me: Hey there. How are you today?
Him: Good. You?
Me: Doing fine.
*scans clothes, etc.*
Me: Allll right. Your total comes to $313.46.
Him: Okay.
*hands me Mastercard*
Little did I know that somewhere in his past, this unassuming, middle-aged football fan had taken a trip to Hades wherein his wallet had copulated with Satan himself. I thought I noticed it glowing red when he retrieved the possessed plastic rectangle, but I was too busy humming along with a steel drum version of the fight song.
Me: Okay, do you have ID?
Him: Indeed, thank you for asking.
Me: All right. *swipe, enter*
The register freezes. It displays an error I've never seen before. It's not a rare occurance - the system runs on MS DOS and is older than I am. Thinking fast, I notice that the cashieress next to me has finished her transaction.
Me: Assmonkeys! Sir, my register just crashed. Your card hasn't been charged, but I'm going to need you to go right over here to Sarah (name changed).
Him: Oh, okay.
Some more explanation between the three of us occurs. Sarah rings him up.
Sarah: Okay, your total is $313.46.
Him: Familiar number. *hands card*
Sarah: Okay *scans, enter*
The same error appears, and the register locks down. Oh, crap. The man's MasterCard has literally caused two registers to fail within 3 minutes in the same way. I tell Sarah to reboot, and I take the items to another cashieress, call her Beatrix.
Me: Beatrix, I need you to ring this man up. However, under no circumstances are you to SWIPE his card. Type in the number. If you think you want to swipe it. Think again. It is a daemon, and will cause your computer to freeze and your credit score to decrease at Equifax.
Beatrix: Why?-wha?-
Me: Just do it. I'll explain later.
It worked, and the man took his underworld-influenced product acquisition device and clothes with him. Weirdest thing I have ever seen. He was nice the entire time, though, but his card was, I guess, entitled to repeatedly violate MS DOS.
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