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"The stupid is strong in this one"

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  • "The stupid is strong in this one"

    Ever had a customer say something to you that just left you gasping with the pain of having your IQ forcebly lowered? A stupid question, or dumbass statement? I've had a guy stare at my closing sign for at least a minute, before asking, "Are you open?" and a woman, when told that yes, we'd run out of the item she wanted, who said, "Well can't you run down the road and get me some then?" But by far the winner is the guy at the pizza place who watched me filling up the fridge with fizzy cans and after I was done, he took out a can and said "It's not cold!" I was unaware we were supposed to have a magic fridge that cooled drinks the second they were put in it.
    People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
    My DeviantArt.

  • #2
    Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
    I was unaware we were supposed to have a magic fridge that cooled drinks the second they were put in it.
    If you find one of those, could you let me know? I could use one of those for my beer. I keep it in the garage, which keeps it nice and cold in the winter, but in the summer I have to remember to put a few in the fridge beforehand, or I'm SOL.
    Sometimes life is altered.
    Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
    Uneasy with confrontation.
    Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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    • #3
      I may have posted this before, but I had a guy ask me the price of a black marker when the marker had a big orange price tag stuck to it. I was still reeling from that when he dropped this bomb:

      Idiot: Do you have this in red?
      Me: Yes.
      Idiot: Where might I find a red one?
      Me: Um. Try your other hand.

      I feel like that guy gave me permanent brain damage just talking to him.

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      • #4
        No way!!
        Wait. . .did i read that right?!?!?!?!? *checks back to make sure*
        OMG I did read that right!?!?!?!
        How can you not notice a marker of a certain color in your other hand??
        "I want to be a mongoose. Can I be a mongoose dog?"

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        • #5
          Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
          I was unaware we were supposed to have a magic fridge that cooled drinks the second they were put in it.
          Those who remember the feud between us and the beauty parlour were probably treated at the time to the way one of them brought down a container of water and put it in our freezer - way back before they became truly obnoxious.

          She returned ten minutes later. "What do you mean it isn't frozen?"

          Rapscallion

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          • #6
            Quoth MadMike View Post
            If you find one of those, could you let me know? I could use one of those for my beer. I keep it in the garage, which keeps it nice and cold in the winter, but in the summer I have to remember to put a few in the fridge beforehand, or I'm SOL.
            mmmm...beer
            WELCOME

            Be Nice or I'll Make the Sun Go Away.

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            • #7
              You could have told her that you were fresh out of liquid nitrogen and she'd have to wait for the water to freeze naturally.

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              • #8
                "She returned ten minutes later. "What do you mean it isn't frozen?"



                I would say she doesn't sound like the brightest bulb on the string, but I'm thinking she fell OFF the string.

                Greatgooglymoogly.

                Yeah, about the marker, I s$#t you not. I don't know if he was the stupidest person I've ever met, but he certainly was in the top three. Dude came in and was shuffling through the markers. Had a black one in one hand and a red one in the other. When he asked me the price on the black one, I made a bit of a show of taking it from it, eyeballing the tag, and reading it off to him. Unfazed, he nodded and then asked me where could he find a red one. No lie.

                He was far too serious to have been putting me on.

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                • #9
                  Had a guy come up to me today, one of our CDs in hand, and asks, "Do you have this CD?" (My mouth did hang open. I couldn't help it. I had just finished 7 hours straight of scanning for an inventory scan and was getting a little stupid.)

                  Turns out he had and AC/DC tribute album and wanted "Back in Black". Of which 4 copies were sitting on the top row. If they had had teeth they would have bitten him.
                  It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
                    But by far the winner is the guy at the pizza place who watched me filling up the fridge with fizzy cans and after I was done, he took out a can and said "It's not cold!" I was unaware we were supposed to have a magic fridge that cooled drinks the second they were put in it.
                    Reminds me of when I worked at the gas station. The person who supplied us with our soda was a few days behind in making a delivery. We FINALLY got some in (the cases were EMPTY) and I was stocking the coolers, with an audience. A customer comes up, grabs a Mountain Dew, and says, "Ewwwwwwwwwwww...this is WARM!!!!!!!!!!!"
                    Unseen but seeing
                    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                    3rd shift needs love, too
                    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                    • #11
                      I work in the Fashions Dept at a large midwest chain (not Wal*Mart.) We get stupid questions everyday but two of them that immediately come to mind are the following:

                      SC: "My girlfriend is about this tall." (holds his hand approximately shoulder height) "What size would she wear?"

                      Me:



                      Another SC: "I'd like to get my wife a nightgown but I don't know her size. What size nightgown do you think she needs?"

                      Me: "I have no idea."

                      SC: "She's about the size of that woman over there." (Points to a rather large woman.)

                      Me: "I'm sorry but I don't know what size that woman is either."

                      SC - to rather large woman: "What size do you wear?"

                      Large Woman:

                      Me:
                      Retail Haiku:
                      Depression sets in.
                      The hellhole is calling me ~
                      I don't want to go.

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