SC's in My Own Yard

[Kara]

So in light of recent emotional trauma, we had a garage sale on Saturday. We don't have a garage, so I guess it was technically a yard sale, but I made signs that said "Garage Sale" so that's what it was, dammit. I guess I shouldn't really have been surprised that a few SC's emerged, but I mean, it was a garage sale. How bad could they be? Oh wait, this is me we're talking about.

SM = Sucky Man
SW = Sucky Woman
ME = Stressed Princess of Power

Oh, You Bastard

I was going to kick things of at 7am. Unfortunately, the sun didn't come out until about 45 minutes later, so I decided on 8 and didn't start setting up until 7. This guy comes at 7:15 and wants to know if it's okay to look around now. Sure, but I don't have much out yet. One thing I do have out is a box containing a Bluetooth Headset (a few of them, actually. There was a glitch on our website several months ago that showed the price as $0.00. The max you can order at a time was five. Word quickly spread throughout the call center. Sups were saying they didn't want to know what was going on - and don't concern ourselves with what they were doing, hehe). So anyway, this guy proceeds to ask me question after question about the bluetooth headset ($10, a hell of a deal for a $70 piece of equipment). Finally, he leaves at about 7:50. He comes back at 8 sharp and says he'll give me a dollar for a box of mason jars. He buys it. He leaves. Not a single glance at the headset he had been drooling over, and hounding me about for over 45 minutes.

WTF

Two older women pull up and begin browsing. Actually, one browses, the other just kind of stands behind her.

Woman: Oh, look at this.
SW: Put it down.
Woman: Ooooh, see?
SW: No.
Woman: What about-?
SW: Grr.
Woman: Well, I don't see anything else. Do you see anything?
SW: *grumble grumble* -waste of time- *grumble grumble*

I'm sorry, did I hold a gun to your head and force you to examine my offerings? I sincerely apologize that you were unable to locate whatever exquisite wares you had been hoping for, oh high-and-mighty crusty old bitch, but this is a garage sale, wherein I am trying to profit whatever small sum of money or loose change I can by selling off crap I don't want/need anymore. Sadly, I have no diamond-studded utensil available for you to use to pull that bug out of your ass.

Passing on the Curse

My SO wasn't feeling well, so she stayed inside with the kids. That's okay, I wanted to keep myself busy in the sale so I ran the whole thing. I texted her at one point to see if she felt up to bringing me a plastic bag for the stack of VHS tapes he bought, and she did. As he was leaving we had the following exchange:

SO: Wow, he bought almost all the movies.
ME: Yeah, he pretty much wiped us out there.
SO: Good.
ME: Hehe, but he also bought X: The Movie, the poor bastard. May God have mercy on his soul.

Thank You for Nothing

Thank you, elderly couple who spent 15 minutes browsing the various infant/toddler toys our kids either never played with or didn't want anymore, only to proceed to inform me that you don't have any kids. Well, not any little kids. Even your grandkids are grown up now. I mean, I have some time to spare, wasting mine is no big deal. But at your age, well, shouldn't you be making the most of it? Tick tock, you know...

I'm a Liar

SM: Are these all the Playstation games you have?
ME: Yeah. Well, all the ones I'm selling anyway.
SM: Did you have more earlier?
ME: Uh... yeah, actually. A whole bunch of them.
SM: Oh. So you sold a lot already?
ME: Yeah, quite a few. I'm afraid that's all that we have left.

Then he wanted to know what games I had sold already. I don't even remember what titles I rattled off. He had, in fact, been looking at the same ones I had originally set out there to sell. But since it seemed to matter to him what I didn't have, I figured I'd make him think he missed out on some really good crap. He still bought them all anyway.

Negotiation

SM: What's a Watch Valet? (pronounced "valit")
ME: It's to store watches in.
SM: What's wrong with it?
ME: Nothing. Back when my SO worked at a vision office, she got it as a Christmas gift at an office party. She has one watch, and I have one watch, so we've never had a use for it.
SM: And it's $15?
ME: Yeah.
SM: Oh. *buys a few kitchen utensils for $1.*
ME: Thanks.
SM: Say, I'll give you 5 for that box.
ME: Well, it's worth $50. But I could let it go for $10.
SM: I have 5 on me.
ME: Yeah, sure. Why not?
SM: Thanks. I don't need it. But it's a nice box. I like boxes.

Um.... okay, whatever. No need to inform me that you are buying something that will be equally as useless to you as it was to us, then try to explain your actions. I truly don't care. It's taking up space and I want it gone.

White Trash Queen

A car pulls up. Out comes a small girl, her grandmother, and her mother, who is probably some kind of royalty at whatever trailer park she came from. She is, the White Trash Queen (WTQ).

Grandma: Huh, look at this.
WTQ: Nuh-uh, momma. Y'all can get that brand-new for less. I guarantee ya can.

She then leaves her daughter to look at some dolls while "Momma" goes over to the dresses and she looks at some kitchen wares.

Grandma: Hey, baby, come look at these dresses.
WTQ: Aw, I can't wear them dresses. I'm Fatty McFat-fat.
ME: (Yeah, you probably weigh 80lbs. In a winter coat. Soaking Wet)
WTQ: Oh, this one's real purty! Hey, how much is this dress? I'll give ya'll a dollar fer it! Please sell it for a dollar!
ME: Actually, all adult clothes are 50 cents.
WTQ: Fer real like? Oh, momma, I'm getting 2! Hey! (calling to the driver of their car and holding up a dress in front of her, swaying her hips). Look at this! I'm goin be purty! What you think?
Driver honks in approval.
WTQ: Alright, now I got me some dresses! Thems the only dresses I got, but they's mine!

I should point out that as she was looking at the dresses, I was critiquing her trashy apparel. She had butterflies on her back jeans pockets, but one looked a little off. It was like, half a butterfly, then just blue. Hey, that looks like skin. Wait a minute. That's a hole in her jeans. I'm looking at her panties and buttcheek. I almost considered letter her take all the dresses for a dollar, just so she could wear something that didn't have her ass hanging out for the world to see.

[Brightglaive]

do you still have some of those BT headsets? I'll buy a couple from you for $10 each. Well... at least on payday friday I will.... LOL But seriously if you still have some left I'm interested

[Boozy]

You're such a sucker for punishment, inviting SCs over to your home.

I like yard sales. All the crazies come out.

[Tito]

You're such a sucker for punishment, inviting SCs over to your home.

There is one good thing about Garage sale SCs. If they give you a hard time, you can give it right back & there's not a damn thing they can do about it.

[KMMCurly]

There is one good thing about Garage sale SCs. If they give you a hard time, you can give it right back & there's not a damn thing they can do about it.

I'm tempted to have a garage sale just so I can do this

[gunsage]

Ah garage sales...one of the few times it's acceptable to get drunk just after you wake up. Well, that and if it's my day off.

[Boozy]

There is one good thing about Garage sale SCs. If they give you a hard time, you can give it right back & there's not a damn thing they can do about it.

All the old SC threats are amusing in this kind of scenario:

"I demand to speak to your manager!"

"Why isn't this in my size? Order it for me immediately!"

"What do you mean you don't accept Visa?!"

[XCashier]

^

People can be so silly at garage sales. Good heavens, you're getting that set of glassware for $1.00, you'd get it new for about $25, and you're going to haggle it down to a dime?! Here, let me throw in this crowbar so you can pry open your wallet.

[SteverinoNY]

I'd also like to buy a Bluetooth headseat...i'd be glad to spend the $10 on one...much cheaper than the store!

(Do they work with Samsung phones...specifically the u740?)

[Polenicus]

My parents once had a Garage sale in an area of Vancouver Island saturated with retired folk (Place called Qualicum Beach).

Now, my parents aren't dumb. They knew this was going to be crazy. Yard sales are the primary pasttime of the Qualicum Beach retiree. Therefore they talked to neighbors, and planned things out. First off, QB Retirees start early. Starting your sale at 9 am? They'll be there at 7 am wanting to take a look. So, to control the insanity, the night before they took everything for sale out into the garage, priced it all, set it up in roughly the way they wanted to display it, so they could just haul it out in order the next morning. they also set the start time at 7am, to make the early birds happy.

The early birds starting knocking on their door at 5am. They sat outside my parent's house for TWO HOURS, peeking into the garage as if Solomon's Gold were inside. When my parents got up and started getting things ready for the sale, a few of them WENT INSIDE THE HOUSE and started pawing their possessions, carrying them back out and asking the prices. Not the garage (Which was still safely sealed) but the HOUSE. My parents had to constantly shoo them out, and took to locking the front door.

They were cleaned out within about 45 minutes. Absolutely picked clean, even of the stuff they were sure wouldn't sell. They said they've never been afraid of retired people before that day, but now they would never do anything like that again. These people were aggressive.

Do not get between the professional yard saler and her treasures. That 25 cent lamp is worth more than your life.

[CancelMyService]

Am I the only one who read the White Trash Queen story and thought "holy crap, Britney Spears was at Kara's house"?

[xlr82xs]

not to induce paranoia, but are you sure the cheap bastard didn't just hide one of the bluetooth headsets inside the mason jar be bought ?

[Jpurple]

My parents once had a Garage sale in an area of Vancouver Island saturated with retired folk (Place called Qualicum Beach).
Do not get between the professional yard saler and her treasures. That 25 cent lamp is worth more than your life.

My parents have lived in Qualicum Beach for 30 years. Their last garage sale was more than 20 years ago, with good reason. I still have disturbing memories of that day, and I was not very old. Retired Yard-salers are scary, scary people.

[Boozy]

Polenicus - That is one of the worst stories I've heard! I can't believe how obscenely those people behaved!

And I work in retail!

Unbelievable.

[protege]

The best thing about garage sales...is you can tell rude or obnoxious SC's to "go fuck themselves" and there's not a damn thing they can do about it

Over the years, we had many garage sales. My great-grandmother would go down to Florida for the winter...and hit up every garage sale she could find. She would send back literally *boxes* of crap from these sales. At one point, one entire wall in my grandmother's house was piled high with boxes of that crap Nearly all of it was just that...crap. She had boxes of old bottles, figurines, and other stupid things.

Needless to say, we sold quite a bit of it. What wouldn't sell, either got donated to charity, or simply trashed.