Semper Stupid

[Kusanagi]

Okay, first off, I want to make it abundandtly clear that I have NO problems with the military. Grew up in a military family, have friends in every branch, and only reason I didn't go in myself was due to a broken neck and damaged nerves.

This happened a few days ago, and as always, the issue is waiting to be able to type it up.

As alot of my SC stories go, I can skip the details and basically just tell you that the customer wasn't home for the 4 hour delivery window.

There's a twist. All three showrooms here are next to bases for the U.S. Marines. We sell to ALOT of military families since they move so much.

Well, this particular Marine purchased a sofabed for his new studio apartment - and was generally a nice guy but he took the military pride thing WAY too far - you know those asshole doctors and lawyers that sign their name "Dr. Huge Asshat" or "Asshat Extrordinare, esq." and go apeshit if you don't write it down the same way or address them in that manner?

This was a guy like that in writing - put on his order form his rank in the Marines, same with his finance application (Corporal). I had made a comment about his rank and he was happy - he had just got promoted a month ago and was using the pay raise for the sofabed.

Flash forward to a week ago when he didn't get the sofa because he wasn't home. I pick up the phone and it might as well be the drill sargeant from Full Metal Jacket on the other end. Yelling, screaming, cursing, and by god, how dare we do this to a MARINE, and how we shouldn't fuck with the MARINES.

Now, for every friend I have in the military, they know at least one person who sadly has no other applicable skills except jump when told and shoot a gun at someone who's NOT in the military. At this point, I was kind of getting that vibe from him as alot of my close friends ARE Marines and they would never, ever act like this unless they were attracted to the armed forces from some deep seated rage issues.

So, do you think he was calm and reasonable?

And for everyone that got the first question right, do you think I just stood there and took it?

Here's a snippet of the conversation near the end:

SC: This is unnacceptable! I'm a MARINE! You have no respect for the armed forces, I knew I shouldn't have bought from a long haired hippy smartass like you!

(Yeah, I have long hair, but it's sexy, damnit! And it's always pulled back into a tail...)

Me: Look, I'm glad you're in the Marines, I understand, but the fact is that YOU WEREN'T HOME. There's going to be a re-delivery charge. It doesn't matter if you're a Marine or not. If anything you should understand more than most the importance of being where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there. What do you want me to do?
SC: I'm coming down there right now and we're going to have a little chat, and I'm not leaving until either this situation is straightened out or YOU'RE straightened out, one way or the other. *click*

Greeeeaaaaat, another pissed off MarineMARINE. I may have whipped Ghetto Superstar but I'm smart enough to know not to get into a fistfight with a Marine who takes his ability to kill people way too seriously.

I formulate a plan, and when he comes in, he really starts to rip into me. Cursing, getting an inch from my face, just like the DIs. He goes near the front door and says he should just "Stomp me into a mudhole" right here. (I think he was from the South, not sure though.)

Oh how I wish Code Reds were real and you were the victim of one.

He then asks me "So, what are you going to do?"

I then gracefully pull out his order form, and financing application, and recite the following:

"Well, Corporal (customer's full name), who lives at 1234 Imadouchebag Lane, birthdate 00/00/00, social security number xxx-xx-xxxx, I believe as soon as you walk out of this store I'm going to get on the computer and phone and call around until I can speak with the public affairs department of the base you live on. Now, I'm not a Marine, so why don't you tell me - how exactly will your CO or XO respond when they get a report you've been verbally abusive and physically threatening to one of the local merchants who actually does quite alot of business with members of the Armed Forces?"

If you blinked, you would have missed the color drain from his face. Guy turned white as a ghose, mumbled the words "I'm sorry, just cancel the order, I'll pay the penalties. Please don't call my CO!"

I thought he was going to cry!

I told him the order was cancelled and to get out. He did.

I was shaking after this - I HATE dealing with assholes, but assholes in the Armed Forces are some of the biggest ones of all. I hadn't pinned someone that bad since my court battle with GS.

No, I never did call the base. I figure I'll let him stew in fear instead of getting outright repromanded, that way, the torture lasts longer

[crazylegs]

No one who is in the armed forces should be using it as entitlement ride, they are allowed to have pride but you don't use it as a cudgel to get what you want, just because. (both grandfathers were in RAF, 1) during WWII and 2) Gulf War I (bit of an age difference, as you can see)

[ArenaBoy]

Oh lord. I have a friend who happens to be stationed in San Diego at the moment. The only distinguishable feature about him is that he has a large tattoo covering his right shoulder, back, and chest. Either way, good on you for showing him.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, I don't know how it works, but those military types seem to keep a firm grip on their people somehow.

Guy in my SCA household had a psycho stalker harrassing him (I TOLD him not to let a little head do the thinking for the big head. Nobody ever freaking listens to me) and the only way were able to get rid of the chick was to tell her commanding officer about what she was doing.

Harassment stopped IMMEDIATELY. Which frankly suprised me becuase it's usually easier to get rid of a body louse infestation than it is to get rid of a stalker. I don't know what Big Bad Military Person said or did, but it worked.

[blas]

Around these parts, it's the National Guards or the Army guys that have the big heads. It may be a stereotype in general, or just a regional thing, but most of the "rednecks" as we call them around here are the ones most apt to join the Army. They act as though they are so important because they are in the Army. Or the Guards.

I have gotten hate messages on my facebook and myspace accounts for having John Edwards as a friend and posting him as my choice for president in 08 on my facebook. Messages such as "I'm in the Army and I'm sick of you damn liberals hating on the war and Bush!"........um what? I'm not liberal, I'm moderate, and second of all, I don't recall bashing Bush at any time on either site.

Another big thing around where I live, when guys get in tussles with each other, all the Army boys clan together because they are just so oh tough and rough and Army strong!

Lots of military men and women these days have such arrogant disgusting attitudes. Many men in my family (both sides!) have been in the service and fought for this country. My great great grandpa in WWI, my great grampa in WWII, my uncle in Korea, my uncle in Vietnam, my cousin in Desert Storm....these men are proud but don't FLAUNT about the difference they made. They are humble men.

[MadRocketScientist]

Yeah, a quiet word to a commanding officer, even the threat of such, has an amazing cooling effect on hot headed military men & women.

You are told, in basic training, in no uncertain terms, that should your Commanding Officer EVER hear about you behaving in such a way as to bring shame or embarrassment to the Command or the Service, you will have some long, bloody stripes torn out of your ass and back.

[Crazeyal]

Good for you. Speaking as a Marine (there IS no such thing as an ex-Marine!!!) This person made the uniform look bad. I apologize for one of my brethren being a dipshit, but the simple fact is, there are some who just don't get weeded out. If you had called his CO, it would have gotten fixed ASAP. The Corps don't like idiots who do thngs that could go into papers and official things like POLICE REPORTS.

[LifeCarnie]

Harassment stopped IMMEDIATELY. Which frankly suprised me becuase it's usually easier to get rid of a body louse infestation than it is to get rid of a stalker. I don't know what Big Bad Military Person said or did, but it worked.

There are alot of ways threats work.

-Loss of a paygrade, which means less money and less authority (at least if you're an NCO).
-Dishonorable discharge, good luck getting a decent job for a few years.
-Getting restricted to base and/or barracks.
-Getting the shittiest jobs in your unit and in the military they can be pretty bad.
-Threat of imprisonment.

I had a friend who was caught stealing a car stereo, from the car of Japanese citizen, when he was stationed on Okinawa.

He spent six months eating fish heads and rice in a Japanese prison, before the US consolate could arrange for his extradiction. They probably could have had him out quicker if they desired, but since he was a criminal they didn't rush the process.

Than when he finally did get back to our base in the US, they busted him back to Private (4 paygrades below what he had been) and restricted him to base. Than he stood trial before a military judge who sentenced him to six months in prison and ordered him to be dishonorably discharged after he was released.

They through the book at him since, 1.) He was an NCO and should have known better. and 2.) There was a time when the US Government cared about how they were perceived in other countries. Which means if someone was accused of crime in another country, it was considered even more serious than commiting a crime on US soil.

Honestly, if he had stolen the stereo in the US they'd have probably gone easier on him.

[Tigress]

What LifeCarnie said.

If you forget how to act in public, you make the whole unit look bad. In addition to all the nasty stuff the CO can do, like reduced pay, lowering of ranks and restriction to barracks, the unit may turn on the guy for making them look like meatheads.

Basically, when you sign up, the military owns your ass and they have the right to ream it if it gets out of line.

[JustADude]

You are told, in basic training, in no uncertain terms, that should your Commanding Officer EVER hear about you behaving in such a way as to bring shame or embarrassment to the Command or the Service, you will have some long, bloody stripes torn out of your ass and back.

Damn Skippy™! And for those of you that think the stereotype of Drill Instructors going at recruits is bad, having a General ripping into you makes that look like a pleasant chat over tea and crumpets.

I was visiting my father on base when a 2nd Lt. (catching a trend here?) decided to play the "illegal orders" game with him regarding using base resources to maintain a personal vehicle. It should be noted that my father, at the time, was a Senior Master Sergeant, and he was one of the key people in dealing with vehicle maintenance both air and ground. Yes, that would be an E-8 with 7 years at his current posting getting ragged on by an O-1 half his age that still hadn't had the shiny rubbed off yet. Enter a Brigadier General, stir vigorously, and watch the explosion.

[MadRocketScientist]

Damn Skippy™! And for those of you that think the stereotype of Drill Instructors going at recruits is bad, having a General ripping into you makes that look like a pleasant chat over tea and crumpets.

I was visiting my father on base when a 2nd Lt. (catching a trend here?) decided to play the "illegal orders" game with him regarding using base resources to maintain a personal vehicle. It should be noted that my father, at the time, was a Senior Master Sergeant, and he was one of the key people in dealing with vehicle maintenance both air and ground. Yes, that would be an E-8 with 7 years at his current posting getting ragged on by an O-1 half his age that still hadn't had the shiny rubbed off yet. Enter a Brigadier General, stir vigorously, and watch the explosion.

OMG! I would PAY good money to watch that! Was dad in Uniform?

And as for base resources to fix private vehicles, on the nights I stood watch, I would park my motorcycle on the deck of my boat and use the very nice tool kit we kept on-board for craft maintenance to fix my bike. Hell, I knew some guys who were restoring a Nova in the hanger. The Captain knew we did it, the XO knew we did it, and as long as all we did was use tools, no one cared a whit (using up large amounts of fuel or grease or sealants was frowned upon, but no one cared if we used a little).

[Alpha Strike]

I find that, in general, the military folk I deal with on the phone are a bit better behaved, more polite, etc. Not to say that there isn't an assclown or two in the bunch, but I definately prefer military folk to my normal customer base.


Kusanagi: I've only read a couple of your postings (this one and the GS one) but I have to ask - where do you work?! I'm not looking for personal, identifiable information but some of what you've posted about happening to you is crazy! I've been doing customer service work in some form or another for 16+ years now and I've never been attacked by anyone or even thought it was going to happen...

[Kusanagi]

I sell furniture for a national chain, but that's really all I can say due to NDA agreements

[Kara]

Nothing really to add, but I just wanted to remind you:

[smileyeagle1021]

I keep hearing people talk about the "GS" situation, but when I tried searching the boards I couldn't find that story, could someone be so kind as to point me in the right way
oh, and thank you for putting him in his place, I'm proud of our armed services, but I hate it when they demand entitlement because of it.