Jester's Restaurant Guide!

[Broomjockey]

I'm sure its annoying, but would you rather hear him hit the table or scream his head off? I'd take the table drumming.

I've seen soft mallets that they can bang as much as they want and no one will hear much at all. Failing that, a strip of cloth tied to a stick.

[PhotoChick]

My mom, a infants school teacher, firmly believes that tiredness is a big factor in children misbehaving and their attention span.

Of course it is think about it, if you don't get enough sleep what do you do? (Other than drink lots of caffeine) You go around all day tired and cranky and trying not to bit your co-workers heads off.

[ArenaBoy]

May I add one other rule Jester if it isn't in there?

1. Dress code. Now I know some places such as Key West will have clothing optional establishments but in most areas some things need to be enforced.

A. For the females: Yes, it's hot out but what I don't need to see is shorts about a few inches or more above the knees complete with full view of a tattoo in full text. Especially if it is on the side of your thigh and I'm treated to a full view of it. That is the last thing I want to see at 7 in the morning when I am trying to wake up. One of my friends is a bit unique and he was grossed out at seeing that. Have some taste when it comes to dressing up for a meal. Trashy does not equal class.

B. For the guys: When going to a elegant restaurant; ripped jeans and a tight Abercrombie/American Eagle/Hollister shirt are not proper dress code. Take a look around. Do you see the guys in shirts and ties? Do you notice how the setting of the restaurant is rather classy? If you said yes then go home and change into proper clothing. Restaurants do have dress codes.

2. Once again, keep the kids in control. If you're trying to have a nice family night out and the kids are well behaved that's cool. I can understand them being rambunctious. I was like that myself. Keeping them in control is great and I respect those parents that know what they're doing. Different story if you don't.

A. Bringing in kids to a restaurant and trying to have a romantic evening or a night to yourselves? Get a babysitter. My parents did.



3. And once again: TIP DAMMIT! I may be poor but I still tip. Always have.


On a sidenote; I've never worked in a restaurant but having a mom who has will instill the right things into you.

[draggar]

You forgot, for the good customers:

3a: Enjoy a magic trick from Jester

8a: Enjoy a magic trick from Jester

11a: Enjoy a magic trick from Jester.



As for tipping, it's almost nonexistant here in south Florida with all the tourists but would you really want a tip from a 400 pound French-Canadian man who is wearing a speedo that is 5 sizes too small? Where did he keep his money?

[Jester]

1. Dress code.

Well, yes and no. At nicer places, I agree you should dress appropriately. One thing I love about Key West is that there are virtually no dress codes at any restaurant....you can go to the finest establishment in town in shorts and a t-shirt. I know that that is not the norm, and when I am out at nice places outside of Key West, I will of course dress appropriately. (It shocks some people how well this shorts and t-shirt guy cleans up!) But I don't think people should have to dress up for casual restaurants, Denny's, etc. Just my opinion.

3a: Enjoy a magic trick from Jester
8a: Enjoy a magic trick from Jester
11a: Enjoy a magic trick from Jester.

Well, yes and no. I love doing magic, of course, but the problem is, when people know you do magic, and want to see a trick, and you have ten tables going on at once and are slammed to ridiculous lengths, you kind of have to say no to doing magic. One of the only parts of being a magician I regret is that sometimes I really do have to say no. Amusingly, some people who have been at my table and seen how busy I am still don't understand why I don't have time to stop everything and break out the cards for them. *sigh*

...would you really want a tip from a 400 pound French-Canadian man who is wearing a speedo that is 5 sizes too small?

Well, yes and no. (I seem to be saying that a lot!) Yes, the money might be gross, but money IS gross, and whether its gross or not, it all helps paying the rent. I may be a money whore, but yes, I would take a tip from that guy.

[smileyeagle1021]

I think my most terrifying experience with bad parenting in restaurants was on my 20th birthday at the Red Robin in West Valley City (they have a lot of great people working there, if you find yourself in Utah please do stop by and give them good tips, they'e earned it with all the crap they have to put up with). Anyway, on with the story.
On our way out we saw the following
ds- demon spawn, about 6
sm- spineless mother
me- your favorite smiling eagle
mwdam- mother who deserves a medal (still)

ds- "mommy I need to go to the bathroom"
sm- 'ok honey, let me walk you over"
ds- "no mom, you stay there"
me and mwdam -
sm- "ok, i'll wait here for you"
me and mwdam-
kid walks off to restroom
mwdam- "lady, you need to get a spine"
me- "yes, you just happened to have that little episode in front of 2 decent hard working people, however, you have no way of knowing that next time someone who overhears that little conversation of yours won't go into the bathroom and snatch your kid"
sm- "how dare you insult my parenting, you don't know me"
mwdam- "i'm not insulting you parenting, just giving you a warning about the dangers out there"
sm- "but he's a responsible little boy"
me- "ma'am, responsible or not, he wouldn't stand a chance against a grown adult who has put their mind to doing him harm, so going with him isn't a sign he isn't responsible, but a sign that you recognize that he isn't strong enough to fend for himself"

side note, i agree that in many cases it is wrong to make judgements on parents you don't know, but in cases like that where their spinelessness potentially endangers their kid... yeah, i'll step in.

[Emrld]

on the flip side . . .there is a point at which you have to say enough . . .I went to a chain resturant. Walked in to the ladies room a woman was in there with 3 pre teen males . . . at least two looked to be brothers . . . and by pre teen I am guessing at the very least 10 yrs old . . .up to maybe 14. I am sorry but, that is too old to be in the ladies room with Mom.
I have no idea what the situation was. But, I took one look and steped out to wait in the hall until they were done.
Restrooms are at the back of the establishment . . .and no reason she couldn't stand outside of the Men's room in the hall if she was all that worried.

[monolayth]

I believe that at age 6 you can let them into the public bathroom alone and just stand outside the door till about age 8. but below that i will take them in with me and stand right outside the stall door.

[smileyeagle1021]

on the flip side . . .there is a point at which you have to say enough . . .I went to a chain resturant. Walked in to the ladies room a woman was in there with 3 pre teen males . . . at least two looked to be brothers . . . and by pre teen I am guessing at the very least 10 yrs old . . .up to maybe 14. I am sorry but, that is too old to be in the ladies room with Mom.
I have no idea what the situation was. But, I took one look and steped out to wait in the hall until they were done.
Restrooms are at the back of the establishment . . .and no reason she couldn't stand outside of the Men's room in the hall if she was all that worried.

yeah, i don't think parent's need to hold their kids hands while they're doing their business, but especially in a situation where the bathrooms are secluded, if your just sitting at your table you'd never know your kid was gone. And yes, I'm paranoid, but that comes from growing up in Reno NV (that place is a great place to live, most of the people are great, but there are some major creeps that are attracted to that place for some reason).

[Chattyaholic]

I try to get my 17 month old to behave in a restaurant, but sometimes he just wants to use the table as a drum.

I'm sure its annoying, but would you rather hear him hit the table or scream his head off? I'd take the table drumming.

I'm sorry, but table drumming during the entire meal would definitely be annoying to the poor people sitting near you.

I've been a waitress for over 11 years and completely agree with the OP's guide! Just when I think I've "seen it all" someone, child or adult, does something that I just can't believe they did.