I wonder if Christmas is gonna suck like this.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

All this week we have been drowning in work. Everybody apparently has to have minutes on their phone this week! Today while sleeping I had a nightmare I went bald from tearing my hair out in frustration.

So anyway, on to the calls!

Me: And what is your name, Ma'am?
1st lady: Jennifer!
Me: And your last name?
1st lady: Smith! WHY?!!!
Me: I need the name and address that goes with this credit card, ma'am.
*1st lady starts muttering*
*suddenly a second lady gets on the phone*
2nd lady: Hello?
Me: Hello, Ma'am. I have an order for $100 on a credit card that ends in #1234. Is this your credit card?
2nd lady: Yes.
Me: All right, what is your name, Ma'am?
2nd lady: Megan Britney.
Me: All right, and what is the billing address for your credit card?
*1st woman in background is yelling about all the unreasonable questions I'm asking*
2nd lady: 123 Main St, Stupidville, Ca, 91001.
Me: Thank you ma'am. All right, what I need to do is call your bank and have them verify some information with you, is that all right?
1st lady in background: What is she doing?! What is this?!
2nd lady: Okay.
1st lady in background: Get her name! Find out her name!
*I call the bank, and surprise, surprise, neither name is on the card. I don't bother with the 3 way call.*
Me: I'm sorry, I spoke to a bank rep and neither of those names is listed for this credit card.
1st lady, back on phone: So what are you saying?!
Me: Well, you might want to call the bank and check on that with them, they told me neither name matched this credit card. I cannot process this order for you.
1st lady: I DON'T NEED TO CALL THE BANK! I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE! My name is VERA, V-E-R-A, and you messed this up, you just backed yourself into a corner. I want to speak to your supervisor, RIGHT NOW.
Me: *baffled* Okay.
She hung up as soon as I put her on hold to transfer her.

So, did she think her aggressive behavior was going to cow me, or was she just psycho? I vote for the former, but it's most likely the latter.
__________________________________________________ ____

Me: *calling a number on a ticket* Hello, may I speak to Jane Smith?
Lady: Who is this?
Me: My name is TPG, I'm calling about an order that was placed 15 minutes ago to add minutes to a cell phone.
Lady: This is not a cell phone!
Me: Yes, Ma'am. The order was for a cell phone, but this number was listed as a contact number on the order.
Lady: Why are you calling me at 2:30 in the morning?!
Me: I apologize Ma'am, but the order was placed 15 minutes ago, and this number was specifically left as a contact number.
Lady: But why are you calling at 2:30 in the mornming?! That's absurd!
Me: Because the order was just placed, Ma'am. We always call right after the order is placed.
Lady: but it's 2:30 in the morning!!!
Me: I apologize for waking you Ma'am, I was just calling the number that was left in the order for us.
Lady: My son placed that order. But I still don't understand why you're calling at 2:30 in the morning!
Me: Because the order was just placed, Ma'am. If your son is not available he will need to replace the order when he is available to speak with. I'm sorry to have disturbed you.
Lady: Well you better be! I can't believe you would be stupid enough to call me at 2:30 in the morning! *slam*

No, lady, your son was the stupid one, for putting your name and number on his order. He was probably using your credit card. Without your permission. But you're too busy being offended at me to figure that out.
__________________________________________________ ________

Girlfriend: It's my boyfriend's card. He's in the hospital.
Me: I cannot process this order until I can speak with him, then, Ma'am.
GF: But he's in the hospital.
Me: I'm sorry, Ma'am but I need to speak to the cardholder, first.
GF: But I have power of attorney!
Me: I'm sorry, but I still need to speak with the cardholder before I can process an order on his credit card.
GF: BUT I HAVE POWER OF ATTORNEY! DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU PEOPLE!
Me: Only if he's deceased, Ma'am.
GF: ...

I know what you're thinking, lady. Don't do it!
__________________________________________________ _____

Guy: Yes, I bought some minutes, but they weren't put on my phone---Buster! Get your ass off that table!---and I was calling to see what happened, cause I---get away from that, you stupid dog!---I need to make a phone call, and my credit card was charged---Buster! Get down from there! *sounds of something being thrown*---but I didn't get my minutes so I was calling to check---Get away from my food Buster! Now!---to check and see what happened to the minutes I had bought.---BUSTER!!! You idiot dog! Get away from there!
Me: Okay, what is your---
Guy: Buster! What do you think you're doing?! Oh, sorry, Ma'am.
Me: What is your mobile num---
Guy: BUSTER!!! Get away from my dinner! *sound of something being thrown again*
me: Sir, perhaps it might be better for you to call us back---
Guy: ARGGHHH! Buster! get back here with my steak!
Me: Call us back, sir.
Guy: Yeah, I'll do that. BUSTER!!! *click*


I admit, I sat and laughed after that one.
__________________________________________________ _______

Guy: I wanna put minutes on my friend's phone, is that all right?
Me: Yes, sir it's fine.
Guy: YEEHAW! WHOO HOO! ALL RIGHT MAN!
Ne: Okay I have an order for $50 using a credit card that ends in #1234. Is that your credit card?
Guy: No, it's my friend's credit card. WE GOT MINUTES BITCH!
Me: Oh. Well to process an order with his card, I would need to speak with him.
Guy: BUT---BUT YOU SAID I COULD DO THIS!
Me: You asked if you could put minutes on his phone, and you can do that, as long as you're using your own credit card.
Guy: ...WAIT! so if I hang up, and place the order again, I can just say it's my credit card, right?
Me: Well not really. We'll need to do a security verification on the card no matter who places the order, and to do that, we need to speak to the actual cardholder.
Guy: Aw, I'll just yell til I get my way. WE GOTTA CALL AGAIN, MAN!


You guys DO know I blacklisted that credit card out the ass, right?

[chainedbarista]

that was a huge serving of wtfness...oO.

to answer your question: yes

[South Texan]

So, did she think her aggressive behavior was going to cow me, or was she just psycho?

Throwing a tantrum every time she is in a store to get her way probably has worked so many times thanks to there being so many spineless managers, that she probably does think that all she has to do is scream something loud enough and long enough to get her way.

Guy: Aw, I'll just yell til I get my way.

See? This one was at least honest about it.

[Fungus]

That story with the dog named Buster was awesome! Thank you!

[Jester]

Okay, with the Buster story, was I the only one that pictured Tom Hanks from "Turner and Hooch"?

[JustaCashier]

I really thought the story of Buster and his "Dad", or more accurately, Buster's pet human, was going to evolve into the Dude screaming, cursing, and calling you all kinds of names, had you asked him to repeat or clarify something, because you didn't catch the gist of his call with it being interspersed with yelling at Buster.

Gladly, it didn't turn out that way, Turns out the guy (especially when he agreed that he should try back at a different time) wasn't sucky, just plain damn stupid for calling you while his dinner, even without Buster being there, would have been getting cold anyway!

Mike