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Do Not attempt to outfox me for I know the Law! (bring popcorn, long)
Good afternoon.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin.
One of the little jobs I have whilst out on foot patrol is the delightful power to issue tickets for obstruction of footpath/road. I'm normally 'relaxed' about this, as long as you are not doing anything too stupid (like parking across the mouth of a junction) then I'll give you either
a) A warning notice
b) Polite but strong words of advice
Unless
a) you're a prat
b) someone has phoned in and complained about your abysmal parking.
So, I'm walking down one of our busier routes, not a main road by any stretch of the imagination, but one that can become congested during rush hour if cars are abandoned. A car (flash penis extension mobile) drives past me, drives down a side road and parks on the off side (at night) (strike one) exits the car whilst leaving the lights on (strike two) and walks towards me, by this point I'm halfways across the junction of the street you've just pulled into. We meet half way and the man attempts at this point to engage me in conversation (strike three). I shall explain that particular strike, he was wearing a dark suit/shirt/tie, at night, in a poorly lit street in the middle of a road. I usher him to the footpath and so begins the converstion bearing in mind I'm in full uniform with my job title emblazoned on five parts of my uniform
Me:
Wally Brains: WB aka idiot driver who hasn't read the highway code since he passed his test
Me, Evening sir how can I help?
WB, I don't know if theres anything you can do about this but perhaps you can?
Me, what appears to be the problem?
WB, I'm fed up of people parking on the pavement around here and breaking the law, that car there (pointing to a car about 20-30meters away) is obstrucing the sightline of this junction (cue him wandering around in the road again in aformentioned dark clothing). They're breaking the law parking on the pavement.
Me, Unfortunately there is no offence of parking of the pavement sir
WB (getting angry) You're trying to tell me that parking on the pavement is not against the law?
Me, No sir, unless the vehicle is causing an obstruction to the footpath or is within 10 meters of a junction there is no obstruction.
WB, Don't tell me what the rules are I'm in the business, Highways (Highways Agency, they have responsibility for maintaining road infrastructure) have told me there should be 40meters sightline fo a 30MPH road
Me, Sir, the highway code states 10meters, that are the rules that we are instructed to follow
WB, So you're not going to do anything, highways say there should be 40 meters line of sight.
Me, I'm sorry sir, there is no offence here, the vehicle is outside of what the Highway Code states and is not obstructing the pavement.
WB, well you should see it here on other days when people park fully on the pavement.
Me, do you tell us Sir?
WB, excuse me?
Me, do you phone it in and report it sir?
WB, no of course not, its called policing, (said with a sneer in his voice)
Me, Unfortunately we cannot be everywhere at once, unless you phone us when its occuring how are we to know when to come here? (we cover 60,000 people on our patch, we really can't be everywhere at once, we have 8 PCSOs and 13 PCs on shift pattern of 6 days on and fours days off, the best cover we'll get is 6 PCs on duty and 6 PCSOs on duty at anyone point in time, but thats rare, very rare indeed)
WB, I'm not going to phone the police and be a nuisance caller
Me, If you don't phone us how will we know sir?
WB, so you're not going to do anything
Me, no sir, no offences are being committed.
WB, Fine (stomps off (to flash penis extension mobile)) gets in and drives away.
What really bugged me was several things.
1) he committed two offences (he may even have left his engine running, a third offence) whilst attempting to moan about some else who
2) hadn't committed any offence
3) He wasn't willing to assist the police in the problem even though
4) he was the one moaning about it and wouldn't listen to me whilst
5) I was trying to help.
Next time I'll just ticket him for parking on the offside at night, even though I didn't have the heart to tell him he'd been liable for a ticket.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin.
One of the little jobs I have whilst out on foot patrol is the delightful power to issue tickets for obstruction of footpath/road. I'm normally 'relaxed' about this, as long as you are not doing anything too stupid (like parking across the mouth of a junction) then I'll give you either
a) A warning notice
b) Polite but strong words of advice
Unless
a) you're a prat
b) someone has phoned in and complained about your abysmal parking.
So, I'm walking down one of our busier routes, not a main road by any stretch of the imagination, but one that can become congested during rush hour if cars are abandoned. A car (flash penis extension mobile) drives past me, drives down a side road and parks on the off side (at night) (strike one) exits the car whilst leaving the lights on (strike two) and walks towards me, by this point I'm halfways across the junction of the street you've just pulled into. We meet half way and the man attempts at this point to engage me in conversation (strike three). I shall explain that particular strike, he was wearing a dark suit/shirt/tie, at night, in a poorly lit street in the middle of a road. I usher him to the footpath and so begins the converstion bearing in mind I'm in full uniform with my job title emblazoned on five parts of my uniform
Me:
Wally Brains: WB aka idiot driver who hasn't read the highway code since he passed his test
Me, Evening sir how can I help?
WB, I don't know if theres anything you can do about this but perhaps you can?
Me, what appears to be the problem?
WB, I'm fed up of people parking on the pavement around here and breaking the law, that car there (pointing to a car about 20-30meters away) is obstrucing the sightline of this junction (cue him wandering around in the road again in aformentioned dark clothing). They're breaking the law parking on the pavement.
Me, Unfortunately there is no offence of parking of the pavement sir
WB (getting angry) You're trying to tell me that parking on the pavement is not against the law?
Me, No sir, unless the vehicle is causing an obstruction to the footpath or is within 10 meters of a junction there is no obstruction.
WB, Don't tell me what the rules are I'm in the business, Highways (Highways Agency, they have responsibility for maintaining road infrastructure) have told me there should be 40meters sightline fo a 30MPH road
Me, Sir, the highway code states 10meters, that are the rules that we are instructed to follow
WB, So you're not going to do anything, highways say there should be 40 meters line of sight.
Me, I'm sorry sir, there is no offence here, the vehicle is outside of what the Highway Code states and is not obstructing the pavement.
WB, well you should see it here on other days when people park fully on the pavement.
Me, do you tell us Sir?
WB, excuse me?
Me, do you phone it in and report it sir?
WB, no of course not, its called policing, (said with a sneer in his voice)
Me, Unfortunately we cannot be everywhere at once, unless you phone us when its occuring how are we to know when to come here? (we cover 60,000 people on our patch, we really can't be everywhere at once, we have 8 PCSOs and 13 PCs on shift pattern of 6 days on and fours days off, the best cover we'll get is 6 PCs on duty and 6 PCSOs on duty at anyone point in time, but thats rare, very rare indeed)
WB, I'm not going to phone the police and be a nuisance caller
Me, If you don't phone us how will we know sir?
WB, so you're not going to do anything
Me, no sir, no offences are being committed.
WB, Fine (stomps off (to flash penis extension mobile)) gets in and drives away.
What really bugged me was several things.
1) he committed two offences (he may even have left his engine running, a third offence) whilst attempting to moan about some else who
2) hadn't committed any offence
3) He wasn't willing to assist the police in the problem even though
4) he was the one moaning about it and wouldn't listen to me whilst
5) I was trying to help.
Next time I'll just ticket him for parking on the offside at night, even though I didn't have the heart to tell him he'd been liable for a ticket.