I fired myself last night

[Misanthropical]

I get a call that went like this:

Me: Thanks for calling "blah" my name is Misanthropical, how may I help you?

Him: Yeah, why do you bastards keep fucking calling me? What are these fucking charges?

Me: Sir, this is a business call and I will answer your questions, if you stop cursing.

Him: FUCK YOU! I WILL DO NO SUCH FUCKING THING!

Me: *disconnects the call*

Of course, a few minutes later:

Me: Thanks for calling "blah" my name is Misanthropical, how may I help you?

Him: I want to report a very rude rep!

Me: Okay

Him: She cussed me out for no reason and hung up on me!

Me: I'm sorry to hear that, did you get her name?

Him: It was Misanthropical! (I guess he didn't realize he was reporting me to me)

Me: What did she say?

Him: She was calling me all kinds of foul names and all I did was ask her a question!

Me: Okay, yeah, we have problems with her before. I will see to it she gets fired.

Him: Thank you! You're too sweet!

Me: You're welcome, have a nice night.

So, I fired myself, but I put up such a good arguement that I decided to give myself another chance.

[Chazzie]

That is one of the greatest ways of dealing with a guy complaining about you that I've ever seen. Kudos!

[Tria]

That is one of the greatest ways of dealing with a guy complaining about you that I've ever seen. Kudos!

One of, then again there's always the blunt, if unprofessional, "You're a liar, I was that person."

[LifeCarnie]

I love people who are too stupid to realize that they are talking to the same person with whom they just spoke.

I hate customers who swear. I hate managers who enable swearing customers even worse.

[Becks]

So, I fired myself, but I put up such a good arguement that I decided to give myself another chance.

Did you talk yourself into a pay raise while you were at it?

[Enigma]

Lol, how dare you cuss that poor man out? Good thing he got you again so you could set yourself straight.

What an idiot.

[greensinestro]

That's funny. What got me on this was.....what happened to those charges and phone calls he was complaining about? He was more elated that you were firing yourself rather than discuss what he actually called about to begin with.

[Brentos]

I would have handled it a little differently...

"We can't allow that kind of behavior here, what I will do is process a request to review her call with you, if what you say is true, she will be dealt with promptly. But if your statement is false, sir, there will be a $150 false accusation processing fee as it takes a lot of time to review these matters. All I need is for you to confirm that it's alright to charge you this fee if this event happened other than how you described it, is that alright with you sir?"

[Jester]

I DJ'd weddings in Phoenix for four years.

For most of those four years, my boss was a guy named Dave. Dave was a good guy. We got along well.

But for whatever reasons, about once a month I would quit or he would fire me.

This went on for 3 and a half years.

Despite all the firings and quittings, I never missed a single gig.

[LionMan]

You should have given yourself a nice golden parachute when you fired yourself.

[Victoria J]

I think I'm too confrontational for your approach, but it does sound satisfying. You get to be secretly smug and know he was an idiot.

I was once giving phone advice when someone called up and "asked for my advice" though what he really wanted was for me to tell him he was right. He wasn't right - I gave him 4 reasons why he wasn't right and he ended up calling me a whore and slamming the phone down because I will not tell him what he wants to hear and will not give him my full name.

I went to speak to the only other person working, took a couple of minutes to calm down (though she had suggested taking ten minutes and a cup of tea) and went back to answering the phone. It rings, I pick it up and it's the same guy "I was speaking to a woman 5 minutes ago who was very rude to me".

I completely lost my temper - "You were speaking to me, and I was not rude to you you were rude to me. I am the only person answering this line today. And you do not want my name, I want yours because I can guarantee that I will never advise you and neither will anyone else working here".

Can't remember which of us slammed the phone down.

I didn't actually have the authority to bar people. I left a note for the manager explaining what had happened, apologising for losing my temper but also making reference to our policy that no one should be subject to abuse including sexist abuse. The manager (who referred to actual prostitutes as "sex workers" and certainly not someone who would ever call someone a whore) was OK about it.

I think the caller had thought that there was a big call centre, not just me sitting all on my own

Thinking back - that was satisfying. I normally have to keep my temper at work. Unfortunately my approach is more likely to lead to actual sackings.

Victoria J