Tweet
When I turned twenty, I took a job at a now defunct drug store called Revco. I name it by name because I had no particular beefs with the company; the job was nice and I liked my co-workers for the most part. The problem was the store was located in a part of town where a LOT of druggies thought that drug money should come from stealing from the nearby stores, and the pharmacy itself got held up at LEAST once a month (if it was a slow month, usually at least once a week!) But at this time I was a lowly cashier at the front register, so I relied on the pharmacists to call the cops for me if there were any sticky situations, as they were within eye shot and knew when I needed their help just by looking. This incident was no exception.
The front registers had all of the electronics located in two mini aisles in front of them. This was before stores got smart enough to start putting merchandise behind the registers not in front. So, here I am on a slow day sorting sales signs for the next day's sale when Mr. Slick walked in. Mr. Slick was already dazed and confused, so instantly I started watching him. Bloodshot eyes and stumbling (not to mention a very harsh aroma of the mari-g-wanna) are clues for us to start tracking. He actually walked up to the electronics aisle WHILE I WATCHED HIM, took an expensive cordless phone RIGHT OFF THE SHELF, and put it down in front of me on the register!! Here's what happened, and I still shake my head at the stupidity of crackheads.
MS - Mr. Slick
Me - You guessed it
CP - Coolest Pharmacist
MS: (who, by the way was wearing a VERY long trenchcoat in 85 degree weather; important later) Yo! I jist bought dis phone today and it don work. I gots to git my money back!
Me: (taking phone and swiping it across security pad, which beeps whenever an activated security tag is still on the package.) Do you know what this means? It means you were dumb enough to take this phone, right in front of me, off the shelf and try to pass it off as something you bought. It also means that this phone was NEVER purchased, as I am the ONLY casher in the building and have been since it opened.
MS: Naw, naw. I dun bought it from dat other lady. The one with the glasses.
(This would be our manager, who had just walked out the door five minutes prior to run an errand.)
Me: That's the manager and she doesn't run the register, I do. And let me point out that it's hard to test a phone when you don't take it out of the box! You can leave now. I'm keeping the phone.
MS: NAW, NAW MAN! THAT'S BULLSH*T! I DUN BOUGHT DIS PHONE AND YOU TRYIN TO STEAL IT FROM ME! I'S CALLING THE COPS! (at this point, pharmacist has already called the police because this guy is looking a bit dangerous.)
Me: (Still calm, but wondering "is there a gun under that big coat?) All right, I'll be happy to refund your money. (cheerful, then deadpan.) Where's the receipt?
MS: You dint give me nun!
Me: Thought I didn't sell you the phone.
(MS pulls back fist as if to hit me. At this time cool pharmacist, who even for a woman is as imposing as a six foot six bouncer, comes up to the register.)
CP: I've called the cops. Get the hell out! (that shocked me more than anything since this lady never swears. And I mean NEVER!)
MS: (walking toward the exit) MAN, THIS IS BULLSH*T! I'M GUNNA GO GIT MY RECEIPT, THEM I'M GONNA PICKET YO ASS! (walks out, uber pissed.)
Two minutes later, cops arrive.
Talking with pharmacist and me at the same time, police officer informs us that all we had to do was poke our head out the door and ID the guy in the car. Turns out Mr. Slick made it to the front door, turned left and fell over. Cops found him slumped over asleep on the sidewalk. Pharmacist positively ID's him, then cop told us something interesting.)
"The guy we apprehended had a trenchcoat full of stolen merchandise. We pulled out about a thousand dollars worth of stuff in his coat alone." He told us he would call us if any of the stuff was identified as stuff from the store.
Never did find out what happened to that guy. He never did come back while I worked there, lucky for me. For some reason, at the age of twenty it doesn't occur to you to become scared for your life in situations like this. Just amused at people's stupidity.
The front registers had all of the electronics located in two mini aisles in front of them. This was before stores got smart enough to start putting merchandise behind the registers not in front. So, here I am on a slow day sorting sales signs for the next day's sale when Mr. Slick walked in. Mr. Slick was already dazed and confused, so instantly I started watching him. Bloodshot eyes and stumbling (not to mention a very harsh aroma of the mari-g-wanna) are clues for us to start tracking. He actually walked up to the electronics aisle WHILE I WATCHED HIM, took an expensive cordless phone RIGHT OFF THE SHELF, and put it down in front of me on the register!! Here's what happened, and I still shake my head at the stupidity of crackheads.
MS - Mr. Slick
Me - You guessed it
CP - Coolest Pharmacist
MS: (who, by the way was wearing a VERY long trenchcoat in 85 degree weather; important later) Yo! I jist bought dis phone today and it don work. I gots to git my money back!
Me: (taking phone and swiping it across security pad, which beeps whenever an activated security tag is still on the package.) Do you know what this means? It means you were dumb enough to take this phone, right in front of me, off the shelf and try to pass it off as something you bought. It also means that this phone was NEVER purchased, as I am the ONLY casher in the building and have been since it opened.
MS: Naw, naw. I dun bought it from dat other lady. The one with the glasses.
(This would be our manager, who had just walked out the door five minutes prior to run an errand.)
Me: That's the manager and she doesn't run the register, I do. And let me point out that it's hard to test a phone when you don't take it out of the box! You can leave now. I'm keeping the phone.
MS: NAW, NAW MAN! THAT'S BULLSH*T! I DUN BOUGHT DIS PHONE AND YOU TRYIN TO STEAL IT FROM ME! I'S CALLING THE COPS! (at this point, pharmacist has already called the police because this guy is looking a bit dangerous.)
Me: (Still calm, but wondering "is there a gun under that big coat?) All right, I'll be happy to refund your money. (cheerful, then deadpan.) Where's the receipt?
MS: You dint give me nun!
Me: Thought I didn't sell you the phone.
(MS pulls back fist as if to hit me. At this time cool pharmacist, who even for a woman is as imposing as a six foot six bouncer, comes up to the register.)
CP: I've called the cops. Get the hell out! (that shocked me more than anything since this lady never swears. And I mean NEVER!)
MS: (walking toward the exit) MAN, THIS IS BULLSH*T! I'M GUNNA GO GIT MY RECEIPT, THEM I'M GONNA PICKET YO ASS! (walks out, uber pissed.)
Two minutes later, cops arrive.
Talking with pharmacist and me at the same time, police officer informs us that all we had to do was poke our head out the door and ID the guy in the car. Turns out Mr. Slick made it to the front door, turned left and fell over. Cops found him slumped over asleep on the sidewalk. Pharmacist positively ID's him, then cop told us something interesting.)
"The guy we apprehended had a trenchcoat full of stolen merchandise. We pulled out about a thousand dollars worth of stuff in his coat alone." He told us he would call us if any of the stuff was identified as stuff from the store.
Never did find out what happened to that guy. He never did come back while I worked there, lucky for me. For some reason, at the age of twenty it doesn't occur to you to become scared for your life in situations like this. Just amused at people's stupidity.