I'm alive. I've just been mad busy lately. I'm about to add sleep deprivation into the mix because I am returning to Kroger as a second job (beacuse bill collectors are about to send their knuckle-breakers after us). There probably won't be a lot of SC stories there, though, since I'm going to be doing night stocking when the store is closed. Then again, they always seem to find me one way or another.
The Other Provider's Gas is Always Greener
SW: I don't ever get service with you people! My friends have (COMPETITOR) and they always have service!
ME: We definitely want to see what we can do for you to get the service you need. I'd be happy to look at-
SW: Hold on, I'm probably going to lose you, because your phone never works here. Call me on my friend's (COMPETITOR) phone!
ME: Okay, it will be just a moment.
*Call friend's number TWICE and it goes straight to voicemail*
ME: Ma'am? I wasn't getting through. Does your friend have their phone with them right now?
SW: Yes they do! They ALWAYS have service! Unlike you people!
ME: Let me try again.
*Same result.*
ME: I'm sorry, but I can't get through. Perhaps they aren't getting service right now for some reason.
SW: Then try my other friend here. She also has (COMPETITOR) and ALWAYS has service!
ME: Okay.
*Dials the other friend's number, first time gets a fast-busy tone and second time got voicemail.*
ME (trying not to laugh): Ma'am? I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that your friends with (COMPETITOR'S) service are getting service right now.
SW: I'll call back later then!
I don't think there's much more I can say about this one, other than to point out that she was calling me from the phone that never gets service.
Um....
Automated Contract Renewal System: Please enter your 10 digit phone number now.
SM: XXX-XXX-XXX X___________________________________________
ME: ...
For some reason, he was compelled to hold the last key for a disturbingly long amount of time. Like, to the point at which I was wondering if he died and his finger was stuck on the button. Alas, I was not so lucky. After about 30 seconds, he stopped
Paranoia is Fun
SM: I need a copy of my check I mailed for my payment sent back to me.
ME: I'm sorry, we don't keep the checks that are mailed for payment.
SM: You have to keep them somewhere.
ME: After the payment is processed and approved, we destroy them. Were you missing a payment?
SM: No, it went through. But I want a copy of the tendered check.
ME: We don't have any way we can get that for you. You should see the payment on your bank statement.
SM: Yeah, it's there. But I want a copy of the check.
ME: You may be able to obtain a copy from your bank, but we don't have the check anymore.
SM: Why not?
ME: Because once the check clears, there is no need to keep the physical check.
SM: This is the problem with out country! Everyone relies on computers to keep track of things! The stock market crashed because of a computer error you know!
Wait a sec, there, gramps. You loathe and mistrust electronics, yet you are arguing with your wireless phone provider?
Black Magic Woman
SM: I have dropped my phone in de water. Do you have any magic to fix it?
Oh, I have magic. Unfortunately for you, my powers of darkness cannot be used for good. If you'd like your city and/or county erradicated, though, let me know.
Sigh
SW: Can you transfer me to (MY COMPANY) now?
And you know something? I considered transfering her back to the automated system, because technically, I'd be compling with her request.
Oh Really?
*Customer was talking to someone in the background the moment I came on the line*
SW: -then they all talkin to me like I'm stupid or somethin. I ain't stupid!
I'll be the judge of that.
The Other Provider's Gas is Always Greener
SW: I don't ever get service with you people! My friends have (COMPETITOR) and they always have service!
ME: We definitely want to see what we can do for you to get the service you need. I'd be happy to look at-
SW: Hold on, I'm probably going to lose you, because your phone never works here. Call me on my friend's (COMPETITOR) phone!
ME: Okay, it will be just a moment.
*Call friend's number TWICE and it goes straight to voicemail*
ME: Ma'am? I wasn't getting through. Does your friend have their phone with them right now?
SW: Yes they do! They ALWAYS have service! Unlike you people!
ME: Let me try again.
*Same result.*
ME: I'm sorry, but I can't get through. Perhaps they aren't getting service right now for some reason.
SW: Then try my other friend here. She also has (COMPETITOR) and ALWAYS has service!
ME: Okay.
*Dials the other friend's number, first time gets a fast-busy tone and second time got voicemail.*
ME (trying not to laugh): Ma'am? I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that your friends with (COMPETITOR'S) service are getting service right now.
SW: I'll call back later then!
I don't think there's much more I can say about this one, other than to point out that she was calling me from the phone that never gets service.
Um....
Automated Contract Renewal System: Please enter your 10 digit phone number now.
SM: XXX-XXX-XXX X___________________________________________
ME: ...
For some reason, he was compelled to hold the last key for a disturbingly long amount of time. Like, to the point at which I was wondering if he died and his finger was stuck on the button. Alas, I was not so lucky. After about 30 seconds, he stopped
Paranoia is Fun
SM: I need a copy of my check I mailed for my payment sent back to me.
ME: I'm sorry, we don't keep the checks that are mailed for payment.
SM: You have to keep them somewhere.
ME: After the payment is processed and approved, we destroy them. Were you missing a payment?
SM: No, it went through. But I want a copy of the tendered check.
ME: We don't have any way we can get that for you. You should see the payment on your bank statement.
SM: Yeah, it's there. But I want a copy of the check.
ME: You may be able to obtain a copy from your bank, but we don't have the check anymore.
SM: Why not?
ME: Because once the check clears, there is no need to keep the physical check.
SM: This is the problem with out country! Everyone relies on computers to keep track of things! The stock market crashed because of a computer error you know!
Wait a sec, there, gramps. You loathe and mistrust electronics, yet you are arguing with your wireless phone provider?
Black Magic Woman
SM: I have dropped my phone in de water. Do you have any magic to fix it?
Oh, I have magic. Unfortunately for you, my powers of darkness cannot be used for good. If you'd like your city and/or county erradicated, though, let me know.
Sigh
SW: Can you transfer me to (MY COMPANY) now?
And you know something? I considered transfering her back to the automated system, because technically, I'd be compling with her request.
Oh Really?
*Customer was talking to someone in the background the moment I came on the line*
SW: -then they all talkin to me like I'm stupid or somethin. I ain't stupid!
I'll be the judge of that.
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