Don't annoy me or you will pay

[customersruinmylife]

There was a large group of people who had been in the bar for about an hour. They were quite clearly about to go to the theatre, as they were dressed in their best possible clothes, were supping champagne and were being very rude and stuck up towards the staff.

Imagine the SC talking in the most stuck up, patronising English accent ever.

SC: You there, waiter!

I look around. I see no waiters. Just me, and I am in the middle of making someone a drink.

Me: Me?
SC: Yes, waiter! I say, ring us a taxi. We have to leave in ten minutes.

We don't normally ring people taxis, it's too much of a pain, the taxi companies get annoyed with us because of drunk people wandering off, forgetting they have ordered one. But, we weren't very busy, and these people weren't drunk and weren't about to wander off.

Me: OK, where are you going?
SC: Just ring us a taxi, we need a taxi for seven people in ten minutes.
Me: OK, what name should I book it under?
SC: Goodness! You are wasting time! We only have nine minutes now!

Also note, it is the evening time. The chances of them getting a taxi within ten minutes are probably zero.

Me: OK, but I need to know where you are going and who it is for, otherwise they won't send one.
SC: Eight minutes!

Geez, that was the fastest minute ever.

Me: But...
SC: Time is short waiter! We have to leave or we will miss curtain! It is not rocket science you know, ring us a taxi.

I was angry. I walked to the phone, the SC watching me like a hawk. I picked it up, pretended to dial numbers and pretended to talk.

Me: Yes I need a taxi from <bar name> to the theatre in eight minutes....yes...OK...yes...that's fine, thank you!

I turn to the SC.

Me: Your taxi will be at the end of the road in six minutes.
SC: Oh great, now we have to hurry. Come along everyone!

They left. Amazingly they never returned to complain that their taxi never turned up.

[Bright_Star]

oh wow...lmao!!

[crazylegs]

Um, waiter to ring for a taxi, uh nope. If you (pillock drinking and issuing orders) can't master telephony skills, might I suggest evening entertainment a little less taxing for you sir. Perhaps attending your lobotomy, that is of course subject to your neurosurgeon finding your frontal lobes.

[Fungus]

You should NOT have called. I would told them, "This isn't my problem." Where are you REQUIRED to call a cab? This is ridiculous behavior.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

You should NOT have called. I would told them, "This isn't my problem." Where are you REQUIRED to call a cab? This is ridiculous behavior.

Uh. He didn't. He pretended.

[Fungus]

Uh. He didn't. He pretended.

Ok. I need less caffeine. Sorry. What I meant was he should have not even done anything. Those people just flat out sucked.

[chops]

Uh. He didn't. He pretended.

I missed that one the first time around, too...whoops.

[BookstoreEscapee]

That's awesome...they deserved it. And obviously it didn't occur to them that perhaps it would be quicker if they just answered your question rather than just ticking off the (apparently warp-speed) minutes...

And in that whole group of well-dressed, champagne-sipping theatre lovers, not one of them had a cell phone?

[draco664]

I was angry. I walked to the phone, the SC watching me like a hawk. I picked it up, pretended to dial numbers and pretended to talk.

Me: Yes I need a taxi from <bar name> to the theatre in eight minutes....yes...OK...yes...that's fine, thank you!

Me, I'd have picked up the phone, pretended to dial, and just stood there with the phone against my ear. When the SC demanded to know what was going on, I'd just say I was on hold.

How long they could be kept like that would be an exercise for the reader...

Draco