"It is often with the best intentions..."

[Marxfan]

"...That the worst work is done."

My favorite quote from Oscar Wilde. It reminds me of this customer I had in my bookstore days who always had us assist him in looking for medical books for his daughter, "the future doctor", he called her. The kicker? His daughter was four years old. He was apparently forcing all these medical books on her (reading them to her in lieu of bedtime stories, I guess) so she'd grow up to be a doctor.

Now, I am all for parents having high expectations for their kids. I think it's good parenting that you love your kids enough to encourage them to be their very best and achieve their goals. HOWEVER, when you take it upon yourself to decide your kid's destiny and force them down that path, that's not love. It's vicariously living your life through them. Not to mention that his guy is just begging his daughter to resent him and lash out at him by dropping out of high school and running away from home. You have no idea how many times I wanted to say to this guy, "Does your daughter even want to be a doctor? Don't you think you should let her be a kid for now? Will you still love her if she decides she'd rather be, say, a Wal-Mart greeter?"

Be honest, am I wrong in feeling this way?

[Enjis]

There's nothing wrong with being the very best plumber in the world either!
What if the child's apptitude does not fall within the medical field?
Maybe she will be an artist....who knows?
I think it's great to encourage your kids to reach for the stars, but don't be disappointed if they grab the moon instead.

That being said, being happy with her being the best pole dancer in the world is right out...!

[Gurndigarn]

Be honest, am I wrong in feeling this way?

Nope. Trying to force your kid to become a doctor is as foolish as trying to force him to become a professional athlete. The best thing a parent can do is provide an environment where the child can find out what it is that they like and what they're proficient in. Hopefully, the two match. But even if they don't, hopefully the kid figures out what he wants out of life before he tries to substitute a red corvette and a trophy girlfriend for whatever he's missing.

I wrote that without any humor intended, by the way.

[petslave]

My ex's mother was a bit of a wingnut like that. One time ex and I were sitting down looking through old pictures of him, and there was one of him at a year/two years old in bed with Firstname Lastname M.D. painted on the wall!

This same woman was mad when he finished Mechanical Engineering at community college and wanted to work for a few years before going to university. He ended up caving to her wishes and going to uni right away. She was one of the main factors in our break up.

[BlaqueKatt]

That being said, being happy with her being the best pole dancer in the world is right out...!

hey I was a pretty good pole dancer


put my second husband through college-and that was only working there for 8 months or so.....-if I hadn't gotten preggers I'd have been able to put myself through college

Mom was also an "exotic dancer"

[earl colby pottinger]

There is money in Pole Dancing.

That being said, being happy with her being the best pole dancer in the world is right out...!

Considering there is some woman who now has dance studios across America to teach pole dancing to housewives for fun, work-outs and to spice up their husbands. And she is making million$ doing it, just be happy anyway.

[Enjis]

Considering there is some woman who now has dance studios across America to teach pole dancing to housewives for fun, work-outs and to spice up their husbands. And she is making million$ doing it, just be happy anyway.

hmmmm...I stand corrected!

[Seshat]

Just think where we'd be without rubbish collectors and sewerage workers. Human societies need a wide variety of people to keep going, so almost everyone can contribute to society by doing something they enjoy and are good at.

IMO, parenting is the process of taking a baby and gradually guiding it towards becoming (ideally) a healthy, happy, sensible adult who contributes to society. Unfortunately, 'healthy' is sometimes not possible, and poor health can interfere with the others. But you do the best you can.

Dictating the form of the contribution can severely interfere with 'happy' and 'sensible', and sometimes even 'healthy'.