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One of my better jobs experience-wise was at a small video game store. We got the occasional idiot but generally customers came and went and didn't bother us much, when we were busy we were basically paid to stand there and advise customers on games to buy depending on what they wanted, when we weren't busy, we were basically paid to stand there and talk to each other about games generally. We covered all the consoles at the time (PS2, Gamecube, Xbox) and PC games respectively, and we had some magazines and strategy guides on sale.
One experience that has been etched into my brain tissue involves a little old lady with a fantastic memory, but, it seems, really bad eyesight.
I was working the floor one Friday and it was getting close to closing time, people were already leaving when this old lady comes up to me, sounded sweet as anything, looking for something for her grandson.
'He wanted something called an RPG, do you have any of those?' I figured we had ten minutes left, it wouldn't hurt to show her our RPG games right? So after about seven minutes trying to describe each console, I was able to discern that her grandson, in fact, used a PC. I wil <i> never </i> get those seven minutes back.
I said we were closing soon but lead her over to our little RPG catagory for PC games and said she had a few minutes to choose one and buy it, or she could come back tomorrow, she opted for the former and I said I'd keep a register open for her for when she made her choice. I go back to our tills and wait, she seems to be having a good look, meanwhile a friend of mine is leaning against the counter on my side, just chatting, we were heading out together afterwards and so he decided to wait. The woman picks out a game and comes over to the counter, I take it and look at it "Leisure Suit Larry:Magna Cum Laude"
What the friggin' crap?
Just out of caution, I ask the woman how old her grandson is
"oh, its his tenth birthday tomorrow" my friend is already stifling laughter
I try to explain to the woman that even though the game is a kind of RPG, or close enough to be put in that section, that it contains some adult material and the age reccomendation is 16+ Thank god she didn't take the uncut version
'Yes...but its a reccomendation, I can choose whether or not to follow it, besides I don't see anything wrong with it" For those of you that don't know, the game cover involved two scantily clad women and a midget with a bad hairdo. How she reached the above conclusion, I will never know.
"true ma'am, but the BBFC has rated this game as a 15" I say, pointing to the red symbol on the back "I'm afraid I can't let you buy this for a ten year old"
"ok, I'll buy it for myself then and come back tomorrow to get something else, I quite like this video game thingies"
I can tell she's bullshitting, she's going to buy it, wrap it and give it to a ten year old, deciding that I have to take her word, I look at my friend and , using the one eye that the woman can't see, wink at him, he winks back, basically he's just agreed to back me up if the proverbial excrement strikes the whirling blades of an automatic personal cooling unit.
So I ring the game up, and give it to her.
I had the weekend off, just as well too since me and my friends were up into some very disagreeable hours just gaming endlessly.
Monday morning comes along and we open up shop at normal time. Low and behold, guess who comes screaming at the top of her lungs into the shop? That's right its Ms "I'll buy a softcore porn game for a ten-year old" She approaches my friend whom agreed to back me up first as he's closest the door, screaming at him to see a manager, he's instantly recognised her and has already begun to smile, but not out of politeness. He takes her towards the back of the shop where I'm working on emptying change into the counter, behind me is the door to the office, he looks at me as he walks past and says "I remember, don't worry" The woman, meanwhile, he turns to and says "I'll just get the manager, I'll be two seconds"
The woman was standing no less then a metre from me for about three minutes as I'm emptying change into the cash register and marking down how much I've put in, then adding some notes for good measure. Soon my buddy walks out with the manager in tow. Madam Gob begins screaming at him about how she was "conned into buying a hardcore porn game for an impressionable child"
What got me is when the manager asked who sold her the game, she said she didn't catch my name, but then spurted out an amazingly accurate description of me, she even managed to guess my weight precisely and was only off my height by half an inch.
The manager, knowing that I was paying attention, turned to me and said "did you sell this woman this game?"
'Yes sir, I did' I replied, my friend was hanging around, knowing he'd be needed
'Did you know it was for a child?'
'Originally sir yes, but the customer here claimed that she would buy it for herself after I explained that, given the age of the child, I couldn't sell it to her, I also told her how she claimed she'd be back saturday, when I wasn't around, to buy another game, so I thought I'd convinced her.
The first word out of her mouth after I explained this, I'll give you three guesses
"lies!"
This old woman then continues to rant on about how I supposedly told her that the main character was on some hunt for easter eggs or some other crap, I stopped listening once I realised that my manager was looking at the game, then at me, then at her rhythmically. My friend chipped in and said that since he'd been here when I made the sale, that he could vouch for me. The woman demanded that we both be fired for preying on the elderly, for lying, and for unprofessional conduct.
Thankfully, my manager happens to be an ok guy, not high-and-mighty and definitely down to earth enough to know that I'm not stupid enough to try and convince anyone that a game that boasts two chesty women on the front is about collecting easter eggs.
'Ma'am, how did my employee manage to convince you of what the game was about?' he asks, I smile inside, I like my manager.
'He...he...' she's cut off
'Ma'am this game has two women in bikinis on the front and an obvious sexual pun in the title, it also has a clear age rating and age reccomendation, why would a game that's about collecting eggs need such high ratings?' She stammers some more.
'Veridas' my manager says 'make sure the game has all its manuals and the CD is in good order, if its all good, then give this...lady...her money back and put the game back on the shelf, don't bother apologising' he said before turning and walking back through the door, my friend lingers a while as I check the game, she's conveniently brought her receipt so I check the price once everything is in order and give her her money back, somehow without smiling, but being well aware of the icy gaze she was giving me. I hand back the money, which she snatches from me and begins to walk off
'have a nice day' my friend says
What she screamed back, at every employee on the floor, I won't repeat, regardless it was long enough and obscene enough to get my manager back out of his office and to get him to call security.
Good times.
One experience that has been etched into my brain tissue involves a little old lady with a fantastic memory, but, it seems, really bad eyesight.
I was working the floor one Friday and it was getting close to closing time, people were already leaving when this old lady comes up to me, sounded sweet as anything, looking for something for her grandson.
'He wanted something called an RPG, do you have any of those?' I figured we had ten minutes left, it wouldn't hurt to show her our RPG games right? So after about seven minutes trying to describe each console, I was able to discern that her grandson, in fact, used a PC. I wil <i> never </i> get those seven minutes back.
I said we were closing soon but lead her over to our little RPG catagory for PC games and said she had a few minutes to choose one and buy it, or she could come back tomorrow, she opted for the former and I said I'd keep a register open for her for when she made her choice. I go back to our tills and wait, she seems to be having a good look, meanwhile a friend of mine is leaning against the counter on my side, just chatting, we were heading out together afterwards and so he decided to wait. The woman picks out a game and comes over to the counter, I take it and look at it "Leisure Suit Larry:Magna Cum Laude"
What the friggin' crap?
Just out of caution, I ask the woman how old her grandson is
"oh, its his tenth birthday tomorrow" my friend is already stifling laughter
I try to explain to the woman that even though the game is a kind of RPG, or close enough to be put in that section, that it contains some adult material and the age reccomendation is 16+ Thank god she didn't take the uncut version
'Yes...but its a reccomendation, I can choose whether or not to follow it, besides I don't see anything wrong with it" For those of you that don't know, the game cover involved two scantily clad women and a midget with a bad hairdo. How she reached the above conclusion, I will never know.
"true ma'am, but the BBFC has rated this game as a 15" I say, pointing to the red symbol on the back "I'm afraid I can't let you buy this for a ten year old"
"ok, I'll buy it for myself then and come back tomorrow to get something else, I quite like this video game thingies"
I can tell she's bullshitting, she's going to buy it, wrap it and give it to a ten year old, deciding that I have to take her word, I look at my friend and , using the one eye that the woman can't see, wink at him, he winks back, basically he's just agreed to back me up if the proverbial excrement strikes the whirling blades of an automatic personal cooling unit.
So I ring the game up, and give it to her.
I had the weekend off, just as well too since me and my friends were up into some very disagreeable hours just gaming endlessly.
Monday morning comes along and we open up shop at normal time. Low and behold, guess who comes screaming at the top of her lungs into the shop? That's right its Ms "I'll buy a softcore porn game for a ten-year old" She approaches my friend whom agreed to back me up first as he's closest the door, screaming at him to see a manager, he's instantly recognised her and has already begun to smile, but not out of politeness. He takes her towards the back of the shop where I'm working on emptying change into the counter, behind me is the door to the office, he looks at me as he walks past and says "I remember, don't worry" The woman, meanwhile, he turns to and says "I'll just get the manager, I'll be two seconds"
The woman was standing no less then a metre from me for about three minutes as I'm emptying change into the cash register and marking down how much I've put in, then adding some notes for good measure. Soon my buddy walks out with the manager in tow. Madam Gob begins screaming at him about how she was "conned into buying a hardcore porn game for an impressionable child"
What got me is when the manager asked who sold her the game, she said she didn't catch my name, but then spurted out an amazingly accurate description of me, she even managed to guess my weight precisely and was only off my height by half an inch.
The manager, knowing that I was paying attention, turned to me and said "did you sell this woman this game?"
'Yes sir, I did' I replied, my friend was hanging around, knowing he'd be needed
'Did you know it was for a child?'
'Originally sir yes, but the customer here claimed that she would buy it for herself after I explained that, given the age of the child, I couldn't sell it to her, I also told her how she claimed she'd be back saturday, when I wasn't around, to buy another game, so I thought I'd convinced her.
The first word out of her mouth after I explained this, I'll give you three guesses
"lies!"
This old woman then continues to rant on about how I supposedly told her that the main character was on some hunt for easter eggs or some other crap, I stopped listening once I realised that my manager was looking at the game, then at me, then at her rhythmically. My friend chipped in and said that since he'd been here when I made the sale, that he could vouch for me. The woman demanded that we both be fired for preying on the elderly, for lying, and for unprofessional conduct.
Thankfully, my manager happens to be an ok guy, not high-and-mighty and definitely down to earth enough to know that I'm not stupid enough to try and convince anyone that a game that boasts two chesty women on the front is about collecting easter eggs.
'Ma'am, how did my employee manage to convince you of what the game was about?' he asks, I smile inside, I like my manager.
'He...he...' she's cut off
'Ma'am this game has two women in bikinis on the front and an obvious sexual pun in the title, it also has a clear age rating and age reccomendation, why would a game that's about collecting eggs need such high ratings?' She stammers some more.
'Veridas' my manager says 'make sure the game has all its manuals and the CD is in good order, if its all good, then give this...lady...her money back and put the game back on the shelf, don't bother apologising' he said before turning and walking back through the door, my friend lingers a while as I check the game, she's conveniently brought her receipt so I check the price once everything is in order and give her her money back, somehow without smiling, but being well aware of the icy gaze she was giving me. I hand back the money, which she snatches from me and begins to walk off
'have a nice day' my friend says
What she screamed back, at every employee on the floor, I won't repeat, regardless it was long enough and obscene enough to get my manager back out of his office and to get him to call security.
Good times.
, but it wasn't bought for me and it just happen to be one of the games that you use to be able to get with a special code out of DOS. Yes I know I am old if I can remember DOS.
. I guess not all old people are dumb.
*attaaaack*
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