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A Young Crank Caller Learns Quickly.

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  • A Young Crank Caller Learns Quickly.

    I work overnights at a convenience store, this chain is a little more than a simple gas station however, we're basically a mini grocery, selling things like our own brands of milk, bread, take-and-bake pizzas, donuts and lots of other goodies. There's a common misconception about the donuts among the customer base, most people think we make them in store, however, most of them we receive frozen and thawed out the day before they are sold with the exception of the glazed donuts which are sent to us from the company's bakery nightly.

    About a month ago I receive a call from some kid trying to disguise his voice with a poor attempt at a middle-eastern accent. He said that he wanted to order 50 donuts for his daughters birthday party that day. It was stupifyingly obvious that this was a crank call but I was bored and hadn't had any customers in a while so I decided to play along for a bit. I told him that that wouldn't be a problem and that we already had more than enough on hand and he could come in and pick them up right now if he wanted. This wasn't a lie, in fact, I was putting away that nights shipment of well over 40 dozen glazed donuts at that very moment. We had a few more exchanges, me acting all ignorant to this ruse while he tries to, in some way, inconvenience me with his order. Finally I get bored with him and decide to end the conversation.

    Me: Can I give you a little advice?

    Donut Boy: uh... OK.

    Me: If you're going to make a habit out of crank calling people, try to at least make your calls funny in some way. you might also want to lose cheesy accent, it's not the least bit believable.

    DB: Th.. thiis isn't a crank call

    Me: Yes. Yes it is. I used to do it all the time but mine were, idunno... good.

    DB: uuhm... *click*

    I have a little chuckle and get back to work and about 15 minutes later receive another call.

    Donut boy again, this time no fake accent.

    DB: Tibris?

    Me: yeah

    DB: could you give me some advice on how to make my crank calls funny?

    Me:

    It just caught me so off guard that I just couldn't stop laughing. I had a customer coming up so I put him on hold but when I picked the phone up again he had hung up.
    I gotta admit, though, the kid's a fast learner.

  • #2


    Okay, props to the kid. He redeemed himself in the end.
    Check out my cosplay social group!
    http://customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=18

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    • #3
      yeah, some of the old ones, trying to reserve a room for "Harry Dick" were funny 20 years ago, now you just sound like an unoriginal loser. All that's going to happen is we will keep you on the phone just long enough to press the aftercall work button on our phone then unceromoniously hang up... and then curse at you that we now have to submit a prank caller form.
      If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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      • #4
        Ah.. I remember being a bored kid
        http://www.customerssuck.com/?m=20080203

        My destiny is not pretty, but it's what my cutie mark is telling me.

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        • #5
          Quoth TibrisXVII View Post
          DB: Tibris?

          Me: yeah

          DB: could you give me some advice on how to make my crank calls funny?
          This is one of those adorable things kids do that we are not supposed to laugh at, because they're being bratty and we really shouldn't encourage them...

          ...except its so cute and guileless that you can't help but laugh anyway.

          If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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          • #6
            Wha.......

            You mean he needs someone to help him figure out to ask if the recipient's refrigerator is running?
            Or call a Ms. Stone and ask her how all the little pebbles are doing?
            Or ask for Al Kaholic? Or Jacque Strap? Or Bea O'Problem? Or I.P. Freely....

            /ding a ling a ling!
            /shuts off cell phone

            Well, it's better than what he's come up with...
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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            • #7
              One April fool's we had an obvious kid call my house to inform us that our load of... something, I forget what. Monkeys, maybe. Or cow manure. I dunno. Anyway, they called to let us know that two truckloads would be delivered shortly.

              My mother immediately called them back to inform them that we had ordered four truckloads.

              Ahh, caller ID.

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