The Return

[Becks]

The "I Don't Give a Rat's Ass" key seems to be mysteriously missing from my keyboard. Could we get that rectified as soon as possible, please? It would cut down on call time and really help the operators out. Thanks!

They're being held hostage by corporate because the requisition slips weren't filled out correctly.

[MystyGlyttyr]

*sniffles*

I would wear that shirt...



I...JUST...LIKE...PINK...

...seriously, though, I'm the only human being on Earth who could pull that off. Because I am: female, deeply Southern, emotionally and appearencewise a teenager, a professional wrestler, AND completely insane-with juuuuuuust the right complexion.

[wagegoth]

Caller is probably in the process of forming a fantastic business partnership with a Nigerian prince.

My latest offer came from Gambia today!

[Gravekeeper]

...seriously, though, I'm the only human being on Earth who could pull that off. Because I am: female, deeply Southern, emotionally and appearencewise a teenager, a professional wrestler, AND completely insane-with juuuuuuust the right complexion.

You're still the only one I know who can actually get away with using that in a sentence. ;p

Make it part of your wrestling outfit. We could suit you right up.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Didn't you read the rest? They don't sell children's clothes!!

Oh, no, I want to put a full size one on her. A full body bind to slow her down, cause that kid moves like lightning.

[Igorina]

My latest offer came from Gambia today!

We got a Nigerian fax the other day at work!

Work has a publically listed fax number, but I guess who ever sent it out is as dumb as a box of rocks becuase where I work is a federal installation.

Boss took one look at the fax and passed it on to the local FBI field office.

[MMATM]

<sob>

Me: "and the message please?"
SC: "I'm not sure."

How can you not be sure? Wasn't this the entire point? Wasn't this the objective of our long, arduous journey together? How can you lead me all this way then just disappoint me! I was so looking forward to our message together. We came all this way for nothing! I hope you're happy now, jerk! <runs out of room crying>

And tragically, Mr. Frodo placed the ring on his finger, rather than pitching it into the molten lava far below. Fortunately, Sméagol arrived and now your customer is missing a finger. Hopefully, the very finger used to engage you on said journey in the first place.

A Different Approach

Me: "Are you calling to book a room?"
SC: "I don't know…"
Me: "Well, we're here for hotel bookings. So I can book you a room there if you like?"
SC: "I don't know!"

Obviously I'm going about this the wrong way…..lets try it this way: What DO you know? Once we've covered that material, which I'm sure I can comfortably fit on two post it notes with room for a doodle of a smiley face, then we can move on to the gaping void that is what you don't know. I shall attempt to fill what gaps I can. However, I'm sure my efforts will amount to little more then throwing a handful of marbles into an empty airplane hanger.

You could lead the caller into said hangar, and with luck they would slip on one of said marbles and perish from the rapid disconnect of their remaining two brain cells. Karma owes you that, at least.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Make it part of your wrestling outfit. We could suit you right up.

Well, it would have to be better than the full-body leopard print velvet suit I used to wear...

[TheKit10666]

I understand your exercise in futility on trying to expand their tiny ill-used brain matter. Perhaps, with some work and extreme patience, they will be able to converse intelligently with mayonnaise.

[Sliceanddice]

wait are you trying to tell me you DINT sell dolls that teach young girls that dispite the fact they have no power they can make a difference? (serisously have you read the books? they send feminism back a few years) FOR SHAME!!!!

[IHateStupidCustomers]

Those kinds of little things are the crap that adds up and are going to put me in a mental ward or make me die of a brain aneurysm.

I had one from this weekend. I work at a mall kiosk that sells blown glass figurines. We do not have anything that is already in a box. We wrap it up and put it in a gift box. We have gift boxes to fit every piece we sell. That, to me, sounds obvious. I get this question:

SC: "Do you guys have boxes for this stuff?"
Me: "Yes, we wrap everything up really well and put them in a gift box, like this."
I grab a gift box to show him what it looks like, the one that I happened to grab is too small to fit the thing he's currently looking at, which is a pretty big piece that's one of more expensiv things.. I didn't think it would cause a hissy fit.
SC: *huffy-puffy whiny grunting* "Hmph! So you don't have a box to fit this!!?"
Me: ... "We have boxes to fit everything."

I just wanted to say "Oh, THAT? No. No, we don't have a box that will fit that. The big expensive stuff we just throw in a bag and wish you the best of luck."

[Pagan]

wait are you trying to tell me you DINT sell dolls that teach young girls that dispite the fact they have no power they can make a difference? (serisously have you read the books? they send feminism back a few years) FOR SHAME!!!!

Maybe I missed it, but what are you talking about my dear?

[Sliceanddice]

American Girl sorry that was just out of the blue there

[MystyGlyttyr]

American Girl sorry that was just out of the blue there

I loved those books when I was little. ...I'm not sure why because they didn't appeal to anything in the least regarding my tastes. Maybe it was the sneaky history lessons in them. I probably appreciated the subtlety in forcing dumb kids to learn history.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Coulda been worse:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...pL._SS500_.jpg

Why does it look like she's trying her hardest to not run away? Might it be related to the weird plastic collar she's wearing?

Well he could always order this to go with it.



I nearly lost it when I was this.

I had a former co-worker buy one of those--except it had "Dodge Girl" embroidered on it in pink. Yup, she was a classy lady...